Category: Change

Fantasy vs. Reality

For many of us a fantasy world can be a better world to reside in.  Reality can seem harsh at times.  It can be challenging to just move forward or get out of bed in the morning.  Reality can feel crushing at times and can lead to lots of tears.

A tower moment in my own life has been reached.  There are times when I prefer to live in the world of potential.  The land of yet to come, but that can be a distraction from looking at what is wrong in my life.  The energies of the past few days have made it impossible for me to live in a world of fantasy.  The reality of my life at this moment is a cocktail of disappointment and frustration.  2019 has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  I have travelled new paths and even though I know it is the right one, that doesn’t always make it easy.

My struggles are just as real as yours.  One moment I can be fine and the next a sobbing mess.  The slightest thing can set me off.  The unexpected can be a crash over a cliff.  There can be pain in knowing that something can’t happen yet.  This week I have been tested to practice what I preach.  After a few days of not being able to clearly see options, I reached out to a fellow coach to help with the reality of my life in this moment.

I’m optimistic because life can change for the better in an instant, but right now I’m taking my own advice and sitting with the pain.  About a year ago I received the warning of a bad review that my life was about to shift.  I started thinking and planning, but in reflection I’m still coming to terms with what that meant.  Things haven’t gone exactly as expected.  There have been challenges, struggles and lessons learned, but I must find my way forward.  I’m sure there will be more lessons as I progress, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day soon joy will feature more prominently in my life.

Reality can feel harsh, but it is showing me a new way forward.  I must continue to grow and expand, just as you do.  Life isn’t perfect.  My life isn’t perfect and I’m sure that yours isn’t either.  The pain of reality can stop so many of us from pursuing our dreams.  I’m working on now allowing the reality of what my life looks like right now stop me from finding success on my new path, but my fantasy world still has its place.  It allows me to dream and ponder the possibilities.

What does your reality look like?  What do you want it to look like?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Do You Want to Change?

I have been grappling with the concepts of change.  What is your perspective on change?  What makes you truly want to change?

There is always a different viewpoint, a new perspective of the status quo, but what is it that motivates you to act?  For myself, I make a change because I feel like I have no other options.  One example was in starting my business.  I wanted to have the new endeavor all figured out and know precisely what it was that I was going to do before I took a leap.  My problem was I might not have allowed enough time for my scenario to truly evolve.  Making any change can be difficult, especially one that impacts your entire life, but I knew there were other plans for me.  I knew it and I fought it, even though everything in my life was telling me to take a different path and I had a choice to make.  I could continue to fight the changes as I had been doing for so long finding one excuse after another, or change.  I didn’t have a concrete plan for where I wanted to go or what I wanted my business to look like; I didn’t have a name;  I didn’t know how to combine my skill set and interests into a business.    On reflection I found I was being shown an alternative path.  My epiphany started right before Christmas last year when I received the messages from my spiritual guides that I could become a coach, which would fit all my interests and in many ways it seemed like a natural fit.  I decided to investigate a certification program, but my fears and ego got in the way.  Suddenly change was necessary when I lost my job.  While I searched for the answers to why and what, I could have gone out and looked for another job, but deep down I knew that I would end up right back in the same place that I already was.   Is it scary?  Absolutely!  But, does the path I’m on feel right, yes.

Most changes I have made were because I felt like I had no other options.  I would switch to another job only when I had exhausted all possibilities in that situation.  I would take a chance because I couldn’t take where I was anymore.  Is that the best way to make a change?  Probably not, but I’m not alone in job change or loss being a motivating factor.  I was afraid to look at a different perspective.  My stand point hadn’t shifted.  I talked with other people that owned their own businesses.  Could that be me?  Could I truly do it?  How would I be financially secure while I was making this life altering shift?  I didn’t have all the answers and I still don’t, but I can always seek a new perspective by changing my standpoint.  I can ask people for their opinion or guidance; I can follow a path that I’m being spiritually guided in; I can look at something differently.

So, I repeat.  What makes you want to change?  Do you feel like you have no options left?  Do you get an intuitive nudge and move?  Review your past, what has made you take the leap?  Think about what you to change then truly change something that doesn’t work for you anymore.  Sometimes if you want a different ending you need a new perspective and a leap of faith.

I’m interested in your motivating factor.  Let me know what it is.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Wish Things Were Different

Here in the United States, we are officially in holiday season.  We just had Thanksgiving and Christmas is a few weeks away.  I love the festive nature of this time of year.  I have always loved driving at night and seeing Christmas lights decorating people’s homes.  There is hope held in those lights.  Hope that things can change. 

Are there also stresses?  Absolutely!  But many of those stresses appear because we’re trying to be someone we’re not.  We’re trying to buy more than we can afford.  We’re visiting with family and friends that have differing opinions.  We want people to think the same way we do.  But that isn’t possible.  The people in our lives don’t have our life experiences.  Therefore, they can’t see things the same way.  These stresses in our lives can become a little easier if we accept things for how they are. 

Don’t get me wrong there is always hope in life, but there so many times that we wish someone else was different.  The problem is that we can’t change other people we can only change ourselves. 

There have been more times than I can count that I wanted someone or something to be different.  I wanted the situation to magically change without having to do things differently.  I’m sure you’ve been there.  My life began to shift when I started to change me.  The biggest thing that I had to do was accept me as I am.  I spent most of my life comparing myself to other people.  I didn’t look like they did.  I acted differently than they did.  I wasn’t in the same place in my life.

I spent so long focusing on how I was different not realizing those differences made me who I am.  I had to accept myself as the unique person I am.  Those differences made me special and eventually started me on to a new path.  There’s a flip side as well.  I had to accept others as they were and not who I thought they should be.  I could either ask why someone didn’t like me or ask why does it bother me that they don’t?  I had to accept that their opinions were as valid as my own.

What do you need to accept in your life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Don’t Want to Hear It . . .

Denial.  We’ve all had a case of denial, I can guarantee there is something in your life that you haven’t wanted to see, hear or admit to.  I’ve certainly been there.

In my life there have been things that I couldn’t see or didn’t want to see.  Things that I didn’t want to hear.  We know when our life isn’t going the way we wanted or expected it to, but denial can also be a way of making it through the day.

When I was about to turn 30, I knew my life wasn’t as I wanted it to be.  The things that I dreamed of hadn’t happened yet.  The reality was that it wasn’t someone else’s fault.  It was mine.  I wanted to blame someone else, but there wasn’t anyone else responsible for my choices.  I wanted someone else to come and save me, but I didn’t even want to save myself.  I didn’t want that to be the truth.  I wanted the truth to be that the timing was off or people couldn’t see who I truly was.  The truth was that I didn’t allow them to see me.  I didn’t let people close enough to see through the mask that I was wearing.  There are reasons why, but my past was impacting my present and my future.  I had to be willing to see the truth.  That was step 1.  Step 2 was more complicated, I had to look at it, examine it, and see it for what it truly was.  A clue.  That clue would lead me to change, but I had to be willing to act and do something different.  Is it easy?  No!  But it is worth it when you can see how your life has shifted.

I’m still a work in progress.  That’s part of life.  The challenges don’t stop because we want them to, but we can learn to adjust and face them head on.  We can examine them and let them go.

 What are you denying in your life right now?  What have you denied in the past?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Am Addicted To. . .

Addictions can be many things, but I tend to see them as coping mechanisms.  Most of us can see people becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol, but you can become addicted to almost anything that numbs you from an experience.

Growing up I knew that a lot of adults in our family had battled an addiction with alcohol so I knew that I should stay clear.  Plus, I didn’t care for the feeling of being drunk.  I grew up in the 80’s when the “Just Say No” campaign was in full swing, so I didn’t try drugs.  My maternal grandfather was diagnosed with emphysema, so I had no desire to even smoke.  So, what is my addiction of choice, do you say?  I have a sugar addiction.  I use sugar to numb the pain of life.  I have used it to boost my energy levels or just get through the day.  The issue with this type of addiction is that sugar is in almost every food that we eat.  I have no desire at this stage in my life to make everything from scratch, I have to learn to work around it.  Some days are better than others.

Think about it.  I’m sure that you can tell me one thing that you’re addicted to.  It may be coffee.  And why do you drink coffee every day?  It gives you the energy you need to make it through the day.

When we aren’t carrying around our past baggage, our energy levels naturally increase, and we can make it through the day without our vice of choice.  The addition may even naturally disappear.  But, if the addiction re-presents itself, your energy levels have most likely dropped.  The drop in energy levels can mean that you’re avoiding something.  The only way to truly change your life is to experience the pain.  When sugar comes back into my life, I know that I’m avoiding something.  It doesn’t necessarily make it easier to tackle, but it’s time to start peeling away the layers and begin the feeling process.

What emotions don’t you want to experience?  Why don’t you want to confront them?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Fear of Change

Transitions are hard.  You know it and I know it.  We know life shouldn’t be this way, but it has been like this for so long we don’t know any other way.  Having the courage to make a change, can be a challenging first step to make, even when we know it is the right one.

I have spent most of my life living in fear.  Fear was an emotion that had a certain amount of comfort to it.  I had my first seizure before the age of 1.  We learned as I was growing up that they acted as a circuit breaker.  When I had a rapid temperature change, I would have a seizure.  Many people that I have spent time around have never seen a seizure.  My grandmother once handed me back to my mom when I started to have one.  For a small child, it seemed that people were fearful of me.

As I grew up, I felt a responsibility to show people that a person can live with seizures.  Wherever I worked, people knew about my disorder, but I also wanted to keep that part of my life separate.  I never wanted them to see me have a seizure and I didn’t want them to be afraid of that part of me.  Members of my immediate family had seen me have them and still loved me for me, but could other people?

One Friday morning I forgot to take my pills.  I remember making it into the office and most of the rest of the day is gone.  I have only a few memories and those that I do have are spotty.

I went back to work that Monday.  Whether my co-workers felt this or not, I’m not entirely sure, but it felt like they were afraid of me.  I tried to be the person that I was before, but they had seen a part of me they couldn’t unsee.  At that moment my work life started to unravel.

The fear of that moment led to other decisions.  Fear had taken hold a part of my life, the part that I felt I had under control.  I knew that things were different for so many reasons.  But I couldn’t figure a way out.  It took another 18 months for things to end and for a new opportunity to begin.

Deep down I knew that I didn’t belong there anymore.  So many signs presented themselves to me, but I couldn’t pull the trigger and take the necessary steps.  I reverted to my coping mechanism of choice.  I withdrew.  I kept to myself and put one foot in front of the other, but my heart wasn’t there, and those around me knew it.

For many of us we need help making this change.  In my case, I needed to be let go from my job.  Then another fear of what am I going to do now sets in?  I was fortunate.  I was able to put the pieces together relatively quickly.  I learned from my coaching calls that there is only way to get over fear and that is to move through it.   I have taken more chances in the last 11 months, then I did in the preceding 37 years.

This doesn’t mean that fear isn’t present in my life, but I have learned there is more to life than fear.  It can be used to guide us on to new and better things.  Sometimes we need to see our own lives from a different perspective.  My life now is all about helping people to see their lives with fresh eyes.  We can’t change our past, but we change the story we tell ourselves.  Every day is a new opportunity.  You may need to make a conscious choice to take that first step, but it gets easier over time.

What story in your life do you want to shift?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Moving On


Moving on to another phase of life can be challenging.  It may mean giving up a long help dream or a hope for things to come.  There is also a transition period between the old life and the new life that can seem uncomfortable.  There is concern about things not working out the way you want them to, but you know what?  Sometimes you must take the leap.

I have dreams that I still feel like I should fight for, and others I know I need to move on from.  My business feels like one that I’m still fighting for.  I’m starting to see small shifts happen, and I celebrate each victory.  My personal life has more of a gray area coloring it.  There are times that I feel I should be ready to step into a new chapter and others where I slide back into the past.  There are still wounds I need to move on from and release.  Each day I let go of another piece.  2019 has been a huge transitional year.  I had to move from a career path that had defined me from more than 10 years.  I had to step into who I am called to be.  I had to rethink my dreams and release what no longer serves me.

But all the letting go and moving on have brought new adventures.  I am doing something for a living that I enjoy and doesn’t feel like work.  I am at a part-time job where I can be myself and be appreciated.  We recently had a staff meeting and I had the opportunity to hear what my co-workers (and now friends) thought of me.  I was blown away by the comments.  As a society we gravitate more towards the negative side of life instead of the positive.  Sometimes it is easier to hear the negative.  We rarely have the chance to hear what people love about us.  We typically express what drives us crazy about someone that we know.

I had to release my story this year as to why would people like me for me.  If I hadn’t been working on releasing that story and moving to a new way of thinking, I couldn’t have been in the space to hear that I am appreciated for being me.  It wasn’t easy to get to this spot.  It has involved a lot of work and tears, but I am moving into the next phase of my life with anticipation.

I could have wallowed and thrown myself a long-term pity party after being let go from my job in January, but there were other plans for me, and I knew it.  I was living small.  I put everyone else’s needs before my own.  I was trying to be who everyone else needed instead of who I truly was.  The “real” Sarah would emerge on occasion, but most of the time she was in hiding.  She wasn’t allowed to come out, it wasn’t safe.

That story had to go before I could step into my new life.  The path is still coming into focus for me.  We all have something glorious waiting for us, but we need to move on from the old and release it.  What story do you need to release?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Hasn’t It Happened Yet?

Patience.  One of those lessons that can be challenging to learn.  We live in a society today where instantaneous results are expected.  It should have been done five minutes ago, but life doesn’t work that way.  There is more involved than our wants.

It is October here in Maine. The leaves are starting to fall, and the temperatures have dropped, but we don’t typically expect Nor’easters to happen yet.  They normally involve snow and large amounts of wind.  Last week we had one that involved rain and large amounts of wind.  More than 170,000 people lost power in southern Maine.  Living on a main route that has elderly housing on one side and a university on the other typically means we are near the top of the list when power outages occur.  Other than the Ice Storm of 1998 when we lost power for around 72 hours, we normally lose it for only about six hours, tops.  During this storm we lost power at 4:30 in the morning.  Just in time to wreck havoc on a morning routine.  My morning routine typically involves an exercise routine, a smoothie made with fruits and vegetables, and a shower.  Without power, I couldn’t do my cooler weather exercise routine which requires a television, to make my smoothie I needed a blender, and I guess I could have had a cold shower, but who wants one of those?  I started out by throwing myself a small pity party and hoping that the power would instantly come back on.  It didn’t.  I was going to have to be patient, but what did I do in the meantime?  My place of part-time employment had power, so I could spend my day at a place with electricity, something many others didn’t have.  I could go to the grocery store and buy a smoothie (something I would probably only do in a pinch in the future, they aren’t really filling).  I could walk a lot at work and I didn’t have to take a shower.  I got dressed and off I went. 

When I came home that night.  What to do?  I got ready for bed while we still had daylight.  Played cards and went to bed at 8:45. I hoped and set the intention the power would be on the next morning.  It wasn’t.  I went through my new routine again, but I went somewhere else to get my smoothie.  Just before leaving work that night the power came back on. 

Many storylines in my life right now require patience.  This is one of the simplest.  There are so many things at play.  In this case it seemed the places that lost power are the ones that typically don’t and many were the high priority areas.  So like many things in life another’s needs and actions were involved.  We can’t override another’s freewill with our manifestations.  Two.  Divine timing is at play.  A lesson was involved that needed to be learned.  Flexibility may have been a part of it for me.  The need to not be so entirely dependent on routines.  A reminder to be grateful for something as simple as electricity.  All these items needed to be acknowledged before power could be restored.  And three.  I wasn’t alone.  So many other people were in the same position at that moment.

These three lessons can be applied to so many situations.  I can think of multiple others going on in my life at this very moment.  I’m sure you can think of many as well.  They say patience is a virtue for a reason.  It’s something that we all need even at the happiest of times, but most of us don’t have an abundance of it on an everyday basis.

We want what we want, and we want it now.  Instant gratification.  We want to see the results of the actions we take.  We don’t want to wait for days or years to see our intentions made manifest.  There have been so many times where something looks right and feels right, but hasn’t happened yet.  Why?  Maybe the timing is off.  Maybe there is something else to be learned.  Maybe there is another reason.  Those don’t always matter to us in that moment, but they should.

As I have developed my intuitive skills, the lessons come through quicker.  It no longer takes years to discover the lesson.  My patience and dedication have paid off in that area of my life.  Remember to apply patience to all areas of life.  It is an important and valuable skill on life’s journey.

What areas of life do you need more patience?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Lovability

Before you can become empowered in your life, the first step is to learn to love yourself.  Be truthful with yourself.  Do you love who you are?  If you don’t then you know where to start.

Learning to love myself was my first step and the hardest.  I had been programmed from an early age that I wasn’t good enough.  When I entered school at 5, I learned that I wasn’t “right”.  For the first couple of years in school, I saw an occupational therapist.  While she was nice, most of the other kids in my class didn’t have to see her.  I saw her to help with my lack of coordination and sensitivity to touch.  Part of my homework was to get brushed down with a special brush.  While the program helped with these issues it created programming.  I wanted to be “normal” like all the other kids in my class.  I learned to be someone else.  This caricature of me morphed over the years, but it was a facade.  Most people didn’t know me, and I reached a point where I didn’t know myself.  It is quite challenging to love yourself when you have no clue who you are. 

At 30 years old I realized that I wasn’t close to any of my life goals.  I wasn’t married.  I didn’t have children.  I didn’t have a boyfriend.  My job was ok, but it didn’t light me up inside.  I went to work every day, but it didn’t really make me happy.

One of my co-workers convinced me to join a dating site.  She had a blast looking through all the potential partners out there and checking in to see how it was going, but for me it didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  What was the issue?  I still didn’t know who I was.

I finally decided to take a step back.  I started stepping into the spiritual world after my nephew was born in 2011.  I read a book called Loveability by Robert Holden in 2014 and started putting the pieces together.  I needed to discover who I was.  I read lots of books.  Dabbled with astrology, numerology and other methodologies that might help me to answer the question, who am I?  It took me a while and just when things seemed to be coming together, I got triggered by my need to fit in.  I started feeling out of place at my job and that I had to be someone else.  I wasn’t allowed to share my spiritual perspective, so I shut down that area of my life at work.  But when you spend 37.5 hours per week shutting down an aspect of yourself it can make it a challenge to be the best version of yourself.  I was tired.  I found it harder and harder to do my job.  I felt like I was constantly being criticized.  All of this was coming to a breaking point that ended when I was terminated from my job.

I finally had an opportunity to be myself.  I was led to an empowerment coaching program and jumped in.  I received coaching myself as part of the program.  I was finally starting to get back to being me.  I already had a community of people who knew the real me, but I had never really been me at work.  In August I started a part-time job and had the chance to be me.  I was accepted by each person.  They seem intrigued by what I can do and who I am.  They share some interest in the metaphysical world, but the most important lesson is that I can be me and be accepted at a place of employment.

I’m still getting my business going, but I’m happier now even being triggered by my limiting beliefs every day then I was when I didn’t know who I was or was trying to be someone else.

Now for my personal life.  I’m getting closer every day, but before I could love someone else in an equal partnership, I had to learn to love me.  I’m a work in progress just like you and every other person, but I’m getting there.  But I’m at a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and say I love you without cringing.  I will take that progress and move forward.

Do you love who you are?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Celebrate Life

We have a lot to learn in this world but specifically about death.  We have a hard time letting people go.  And then there is the mourning and grief process.  For some people they’re able to move forward, and for others they dwell in their grief for years.

My first exposure to death was when I was 17.  People in my family had died over the years, but I didn’t really know them.  This was the first time I knew the person.  I was close with my Papa Paul.  I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him, but at the end of his life he wasn’t truly able to live.  He could no longer read and had trouble taking tape off a present.  We had his funeral during the Ice Storm of 1998.  There was no electricity at our house or the funeral home.  The minister needed a flashlight to read his notes.  My first experience with the grieving process was unique, but I have come to realize that the process of funerals and memorial services are as the unique as the person themselves.  I watched my grandmother during the funeral.  She had lost her husband of 57 years and the word that has always come to mind is stoic.  I never saw her cry.  She soldiered on.  I learned that you soldier on.

My most recent experience with death happened only a few weeks ago.  My Aunt Louise was 96 years old and had been in and out of the hospital.  Her family asked for prayers.  I prayed that if it was in her highest and best good for her to stay that she stay, if it wasn’t for her to have a peaceful transition to the other side.  She was with us only a few more days.  She was like another grandmother to me growing up.  She had always been there.  She was there to guide us and support us as she had so many others.  But it was her time to go.  I posted a message on Facebook in tribute to her.  I received a multitude of condolence messages.  I knew that she was in a better place.  Aunt Louise was a person that deserved to be recognized in death with praise that she didn’t need in life.  As we have done many times over the years, we gathered.  When most of your relatives pass in their 80s and 90s, you learn to celebrate their lives.  We told stories and laughed.  There were some tears, but she wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad.  She had accomplished everything that she had set out to do.  She was welcomed to the other side by a pack of dogs and the family members that had passed before her.  Her journey was complete.

Death is an opportunity to pause and reflect.  What do you admire?  Where are you off your life path?  I cannot speak to the death of a spouse or child because that isn’t something that I have experienced.  Longevity runs in my family.  I am one of the fortunate ones.  I have had the privilege of getting to know all four of my grandparents and their siblings.  I got to know who they were and while I miss their physical existence, I know they are around me.  I still have my own journey to pursue.

Death is one of the few certainties of life.  We have an opportunity to view things differently.  We can still communicate with our loved ones, but we may need a translator.  They communicate with us in our everyday lives.  During my aunt’s reception, the lights flickered.  Her and our extended family was with us in spirit.  They are still part of our journey but are no longer part of our physical world.

How do you view death?  Do you celebrate their legacy?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

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