Is It The Heat Of The Moment?

Do you ever find yourself triggered?  It could be from a phone call, conversation, email or just scrolling through social media.  You desperately want to respond.  Put that other person in their place.  You want to tell them that’s not true or maybe just unleash all of your anger about something else.
 
Try something different.  Take a step back.  Let yourself get to a place where you’re calm.  Words can be unleashed in anger that you can’t take back.
 
You may find yourself having a confrontation with an employee who’s just doing their job.  You may just say something that isn’t true.  There’s a tendency to not be your best self at these moments.
 
Being triggered is meant to be a moment where you have the opportunity to see things clearly.  Triggers are meant to make you uncomfortable.  They’re meant to help you grow.  You can only truly grow in those moments.
 
When everything is going along the way you want it, are you going outside of your comfort zone?  I’m guessing the answer is no.
 
The darkness is where you learn.  It’s not meant to be all lollipops and rainbows.  You came here to learn.  What you come here to learn is for you to decide.  You aren’t meant to stay in one place.
 
So the next time you start feeling angry or uncomfortable, take a step back.  Ask yourself questions and try to come from a place that is kind to yourself and those around you.  The world could use a little more kindness.
 
What is coming to the surface that’s making you uncomfortable?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Huh?

What did you say?  Misunderstandings seem to be the name of the game during Mercury Retrograde.  Some have more difficulties during retrograde periods than others, but misunderstandings are everywhere.
 
Have you said something and then gone, that’s not what I meant!  It happens all too often.  People are especially sensitive right now.  They may feel like lashing out rather than taking an opportunity to breathe and think through how they wish to react.
 
It can be especially tricky for those of us on the other end.  How do you want to respond?  Do you want to be a better person?
 
That doesn’t mean that you have to allow people to walk all over you.  It does mean that you need to make sure to breathe and think through your responses.  Respond to others from your highest place.  Don’t sink to their level.  Respond true to who you are. 
 
The world is divisive right now, but you don’t need to follow down that path.  Speak from a place that is for the highest and best good for you.  It can be challenging to not immediately respond, but sometimes it’s best for all to think about your response.
 
Misunderstandings are bound to happen, but you can try to limit them as much as possible.  When things don’t go as planned, change course or apologize.
 
You can always try again.  You have an opportunity to think about what’s happening in your life.  You can do it differently.  Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it can’t be different going forward.
 
Misunderstandings will happen, but how do you respond?  That’s where the lesson is.
 
How do you respond to misunderstandings?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time To…

What do you want 2021 to look like?  A lot of the structures in your life were demolished in 2020.  You can build something new.  Something different.  Are you ready?
 
It’s so easy to get stuck in the mindset of poor me.  Things never seem to work out for me.  But you don’t have to live there.  You can create something new.  Something different.  You can build a life that you love.
 
Maybe you’ll be one of the fortunate ones and with a snap of your fingers, it will be different.  But let me tell you a secret, it rarely happens that way.  You must process your old life first.  How did you end up where you are?  It’s not an easy process.  There’s a reason that people stay the way they are.  It requires work and effort.  How bad do you want it?
 
Are you willing to take the leap?  Are you willing to put in the work?  It would be easier if things did just magically happen.  You must demonstrate how badly you want it. 
 
The lessons that you’ve experienced have made you who you are.  You lived through them for a reason.  They’re part of your life’s journey, but you don’t have to stay there.
 
We can get guidance from our intuition, oracle/tarot cards, astrology, numerology, etc., but ultimately you have the final say over how your life turns out. It’s yours to live as you wish.  So, what are you going to do?
 
Every change starts with a small step.  You can do this if you want to.
 
It’s never easy to move past your fear or swallow your pride, but there’s so much joy on the other side knowing that you did something that terrified you and it turned out ok.
 
A leap of faith is challenging, but you must have hope.  Be optimistic that your world can be better.  It can be what you want it to be, the effort is up to you.
 
Do you ever have a thought that doesn’t leave?  A thought that says you should do this.  Start there.  You don’t have to change everything overnight.  Work through the pain and see what lies on the other side on your timetable.
 
What effort are you willing to put into changing your life?   Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Wait! Before you Speak…

After the events in Washington, D.C. in January, there’re seems to be a lot of blame going on.  One side is saying they should be heard, there’s evidence to prove their point and the other side is saying what was said to them 4 years ago, we won let’s move on.
 
The major issue is that you generally like to feel that you’re right.  What you believe couldn’t possibly be wrong?  So, you start to defend your beliefs.  You go after the person whose beliefs are different and attack.  Never asking, or per chance you did ask, to see why they hold those beliefs to begin with.  In truth, we seem quite polarized, but if we had an honest discussion, we might come to see we have more in common then we thought.
 
In order for the people of the United States to change, we need to each be willing to look at ourselves.  To look at our beliefs.  To listen to each other and not just to listen to respond but truly listen and hear what is being said.
 
Two wrongs don’t make a right.  So, what is right?  That’s challenging to say in a moment such as this.  You could say that you should be more emphatic, and it might be a good place to start.  The Golden Rule, to treat others as you wish to be treated.  We’ve gotten used to being anonymous and spouting off what you believe on social media.  It’s quite different if you have to look at person and see the hurt your words have caused.
 
You will often pick and choose facts to fit your narrative.  It doesn’t make it any more or less true.  You should be looking for the truth in any situation.  Not simply what should be true.
 
Right now, the world needs a little more kindness.  A little more compassion.   If only you took the time to live in another’s shoes, might we make progress and not be so divided?  You have a choice.  Would you rather be right or understand?
 
Each of us needs to learn some understanding.  Maybe it’s time to take a step back.  Think about your words before tossing them about or use them as a weapon.  Think before you speak.

How can you be a little more understanding?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Accept It

The world seems to be of two extremes now.  Joy or the inability to accept what’s transpired.
 
It’s easy to feel giddy when things go the way you want, but do you do when they don’t.  Things don’t always go as we’ve planned or expect.  There are days when you come up with a plan and just as the day begins your plan has gone awry.  It’s the nature of life.
 
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identifies the 5 stages of grief as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Getting to the acceptance phase can take time and, in some cases, might never happen. 
 
Denial.  We don’t want to hear it.  We want to hide from the world.  The idea that this can’t be happening right now.  It can’t be true.  Anger.  The pain starts to emerge.  We lash out at ourselves and those around us.  Bargaining.  The if only statements begin to appear.  We want someone else to step in.  Why couldn’t it have happened differently?  Maybe it still could.  Depression.  Sadness and regret.  Acceptance.  The stage where peace is made.  This process can happen quickly, or it may never reach completion.
 
It's ok to be upset that things didn’t work out how you wanted.  They don’t always, but it’s not ok to try and manipulate matters to meet your needs.  Give it a chance and see what happens.
 
We’re in a huge state of change in our lives.  Change is easiest when it’s the one we choose.  It’s difficult when it’s not.  It doesn’t change the reality of what’s going on.
 
What do you need to accept?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Endings are…

What do endings mean for you?  Are they happy, sad, or frustrating?  Maybe it depends on what the ending is.

If it is a death, it’s sad.  There’s the grieving process to go through and the realization that you have to find a new way forward.

There are break-ups.  Whether you are the one doing the breaking up, or the one left behind whether it be romantic or friendship.  All these factors can determine your reaction.  You may feel a sense of freedom or depression.

You could be moving.  You might be sad to be leaving one location and excited for the next chapter to begin.

There are so many different types of endings.  Endings normally involve change.  If the change is thrust upon you, you will have a different reaction to the one that you choose.

Every ending involves finding a way to have power over your life.  It’s ok to be sad, but it’s not ok to wallow in it.  You can express your emotions, and you should.  Emotions should always be let out. Don’t repress them for long periods of time.  The emotions that you’ve ignored will find a way of coming back.  It’s best to deal with them in the moment or shortly thereafter.  Set aside time to cry or be angry.  You’ll be happier that you did.

What types of endings are you experiencing in your life?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I’m So Tired

Have you been finding it hard to get up in the morning?  Or you could be finding yourself thinking, I’m so tired of this story.  Or maybe you’re literally falling asleep.

The energy of what you’ve been doing that may no longer work for you is starting to wear you down.  It’s time for something new and different, but sometimes you don’t know how to get there or are afraid to try.
Maybe you’ve noticed that you’ve run this movie before, and you can change the ending this time.  It’s an old story that you just want to stop.  You didn’t like the film the last time it was on and you certainly don’t like it now.

The universe is trying to get your attention.  You can change.  You can have a different ending.  You can shift your journey to a new path.  You’re being reminded that this story no longer works for you.  But how do you change the script?

It’s challenging when we’re right in the middle of the story to see our options.  We don’t like it, but what else can we do?  Sometimes you just must leap into alternative storylines.  Give it a try!  Maybe it will work.  Maybe it won’t, but you don’t know if you don’t at least try.

Maybe you’ve been doubting your intuition, and something happens that you can’t ignore.  It feels right, but you believe it can’t be right.  It just can’t be.  Ask someone else what they think.  You could totally surprise yourself.  You don’t know if you don’t ask.

One of my teachers said to respond to life’s questions with, “I don’t know”.  Our patterns can become a part of us, where we think we know what will happen.  When you learn what someone else thinks, you could be completely surprised by the response.

Being tired is an indicator.  It’s time to let go.  Say you don’t know want to see what happens.  Yes, giving up control can be terrifying at first, but after some time it can be liberating.  Try something different, even if it’s taking a different route to the grocery store.  See what happens.

What are you tired about?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Just Do It!

Nike’s “Just Do It!” campaign can apply to so much more then just buying sneakers.  It can be a major lesson on life and taking action. 

Taking action can feel like one of the most terrifying things to do at times.  But what happens if we don’t?  There are so many possibilities.  We don’t allow ourselves to grow.  We self-sabotage.  In so many ways, we let life pass us bye.  FYI, it doesn’t really pass us bye. 

Sabotaging ourselves doesn’t feel like that in the moment.  We’re afraid to take that step.  We’re not sure.  What will life look like on the other side?  It could make you different from your friends and/or family.  Whatever it may be could be stopping you from stepping into something you’ve dreamed of.

I know we’re still amid a pandemic and we aren’t supposed to leave our homes.  But what I’m talking about doesn’t necessarily require you to leave your home.  There are still ways you can act.  Action doesn’t have to mean an accomplishment of a major goal but could be small steps towards reaching a major goal.

Over the course of the last year, I have taken small steps to big goals.  I have been working on my empowerment coaching certification.  One call at a time.  I’m almost done!  But as I reach the finish line, that fear can creep back in.  What does it mean once I’m finished?  I don’t know the answer to that yet.  But so that I accomplish this, I have set small goals to finish my written examination.  It is an exam of 40 questions, 20 about the course and 20 about 3 of my calls.   I said that I’m going to work on it an hour per day.  I looked back through my notes and started piecing together the responses to the first 20 questions.  Then I drafted my responses.  This part I’ve now completed.  Next, go back and listen to my 3 calls.  Listen to one call per day and draft my responses as I go.  I plan on submitting the exam on April 30.  Some days I haven’t done anything, and you know what?  That’s ok!  I’m making progress.  I started at the beginning of April.  I gave myself plenty of time with the expectation that I might not want to work on it some days.  I told people about my deadline to hold myself accountable.  You’re part of that team as I near the finish line!  I broke my goal into small manageable pieces.  These are the same steps I took when starting my business.  I’ve found this process works for me.  Maybe it doesn’t work for you.  That’s ok too!  It’s about finishing a way forward to something you might not have done.

You might have started but not finished.  I have a lot of those too!  Someday I will check them off and find a way to complete them.  But one thing at a time.  I can always go back and work on them.  First, pick a goal and work through the fears that are going to creep in.  They always do.  It’s how we know we’re on the right track.  Second, break it down into small steps.  Third, come up with a deadline.  Fourth, tell someone.  Fifth, just do it. 

What’s your goal?  How are your fears holding you back?  What can you do to move forward?   Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

We live at a point in time where our daily life can be super uncomfortable.  Our security, our safety, and our level of comfort have been rocked.  We are being forced to live outside of our comfort zone and most of us don’t like it!  It’s one thing to make a choice to step outside of your comfort zone and make changes to your life, but it’s another to have those changes forced upon you.

None of us want to have decisions made for us.  We want to oversee our lives.  Living in a COVID-19 world, people are in pain.  People are dying.  People are drowning in debt.  People can’t pay their bills.  People don’t have food.  It can be challenging to see the positives and opportunities when we are just trying to survive.

For so many of us, right now is about surviving.  We’re trying to make it one day or pay one bill.  I know this can be hard to hear, but we might be missing what we need to learn.  COVID-19 is an opportunity for us to learn.  To make the hard decisions.

For years I lived in the dark.  I didn’t want to know what my problems were, I just wanted them to miraculously go away.  I didn’t care whether it was someone else coming to save me or my life just suddenly got better.  Either way was good.  I didn’t care how it happened.

Growing up I thought that certain things would happen at a certain point in my life.  For some they did, but for me, they didn’t seem to work out that way.  When I turned 30, I didn’t want to acknowledge that my life wasn’t what I had dreamed it would be.  The hardest question I ever asked myself was why.  Asking that question meant that I could no longer live my life in denial.  I had to take the leap out of my comfort zone.  That leap was one of the most terrifying things I had done.  Starting my own business last year was officially the most terrifying thing I have ever done.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable.

What you’re experiencing right now is a push out of your comfort zone and I’m right there with you.  I’ve been given another shove put of my comfort zone this past month.  My routine has been totally disrupted.  My income has been shaken up.  One of the hardest things that I had to do was overcome my pride and file for unemployment.  I had done everything right!  I had gotten a part-time job to help pay my bills while my business was getting established.  I stepped past my pride and had to have courage and trust that all would be ok.  The interesting thing is that by taking that leap I’m doing better than I was a month ago.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is.  I’m grateful that I’m doing better, but I also know that I’ve done a lot of work to get there.  There was no miracle cure.  No one came to save me.  It was me.  I had to do the work and take the leap.  My discomfort had to grow to the point that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I had reached my breaking point.  Congratulations!  You may have just reached yours.  Here comes the opportunity for you to say that I’m never going to be like this again and start to make different decisions.

How are you going to step out of your comfort zone?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Walking Wounded

This is a challenging time.  No one has ever seen anything like this, and we are unlikely to ever see anything like it again.  We are being asked to rise.  We are being asked to have compassion for our friends, our neighbors, our enemies, and ourselves.

It can be difficult when what we want isn’t going our way.  Our frustrations can be unleashed on those who have little to do with our problems.  This is a time to take a breath and think before we respond.

So many of us have lost our income.  We are having to file for unemployment and take steps that we never expected to take.  We did everything right.  Each one of us is the walking wounded.  We have so much in common right now, but it can be hard to see other people’s pain when we can barely see our own.

Last week was a challenge.  The place where I have been working part-time closed its doors until we are able to open again.  Last year I experienced all these major shifts and put the pieces together to have half of my plan blown apart again.  My first step was to make it through a day and then through the week.  It can be too hard to make decisions when you’re just trying to get through the day.

Once I made it through my work week, the next step was to take care of anything that I needed while on my way home.  Then I arrived home and cleaned up anything germs that I might have on me.  I washed the floors, the surfaces, and anything else I might have touched.  My final step was to give myself time.  I knew from experience that I could only take care of my most immediate needs at that moment.  I gave myself permission to feel anything I felt.  I listened to USA For Africa’s “We Are the World” and cried.  I worked through my pride and filed for unemployment so I could pay my bills.  I allowed myself to be angry at what this virus has done to the world, my plans, and to grieve for what I and others have lost. 

The world that we knew is not the same place and it can’t be.  When you do venture outside to get groceries or gas, say hello and thank the clerk.  Accept that the things you need might not be available.  Have compassion for those around you.  We are all in this together and are feeling the same things.  We will come out of this better people. 

After the attacks on September 11th one of the lessons I have always remembered was a sense of unity in our collective grief.  People hung their American flags at their door.  We have an opportunity again.  There is always a possibility of a rainbow after a rainstorm, but we must look for it.  Look for the silver lining.  We are resilient and will come through this stronger than ever.  We can do this but show a little kindness to each person.  It goes a long way.

How are you showing compassion? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.