It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Normally this is the time of year where the holiday season kicks into full swing! We’ve had Thanksgiving and Black Friday.  In my household, the Christmas decorations have gone up.
 
Christmas parties are on the calendar.  It’s time to celebrate with our friends and family.  But this year, everything’s different.  The regular traditions you’ve always known aren’t happening.  Every day the COVID numbers go up more.  You’ve had to make hard decisions about your values.  Is it safe to spend time around all your family?  Is it safe to travel home?
 
There are so many questions and very few answers.  The one area that it seems to point back to is what do you value?  Do you value stuff over the people in your life?  Sometimes the little things can mean a lot more than you thought, like getting a homemade card or a lollipop from a child.  Those gestures can take on a different meaning, especially this year.
 
For a long time, I accumulated lots of stuff (clothes, movies, music, and books).  I would rush out on Tuesday to buy the newest release.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was trying to fill a void with things.  Over the years I’ve been working at removing the void.  I still have stuff to get rid of, but that’s for another post.
 
2020 has forced me to examine what do I value?  I had to cut a lot of expenses that seemed like they brought me value.  And for a time, they did.  I had outgrown them and was having trouble cutting the cord.  Others, I thought things would change and I might be able to keep them while everything got sorted out.  Some hard choices have been made.
 
There are still hard choices to make.  Some get pushed back because we aren’t ready to make, others get pushed in our face until we make it.
 
You have the right to choose what you value.  You’re the only one who can make it.  It’s not an easy time for so many people in the world.  It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important.  This holiday season remember what you value.  It may look different than before but’s not any less important.
 
 What do you value this holiday season?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

How’s that Working for You?

A new world is waiting for you, but are you too afraid to walk through the door?  It’s okay!  It’s not too late to reset what you’re doing and try something different.

A new life, a new world is starting to come through, but you have to be willing to open the door.  When you’re afraid, there’s a tendency to cling to what’s familiar.  Everybody does it, but on occasion you need to try the new and see what works.

You might think you won’t like it.  You finally break down and try it.  Think of food.  It might confirm that you don’t like it.  At least you tried and it’s not for you.  Or maybe you tried it and were wrong all those years.  You want to try more.

You’re on the precipice of great changes, but you have to be willing to try.  Trying new things can be hard and difficult, but if you don’t you could be missing out on something special.

It’s easy to kick the can down the road and try later, but what if you took the time now?  You could be that much further along in the process.

2020 has been hard and you’ve had a lot of your misconceptions thrown in your face.  But what you done about it?  Have you tried or are you still holding on?  Could it work for you or not?  It’s hard to say, but you will never know if you don’t try.

Looking at life through a new lens can be hard.  You have to unravel your life and look at it as though you had something to do with where you’ve ended up.  You can’t blame everything that’s going wrong on someone else.  Only you and you alone can try something new and see how it goes.  What’s the worst that can happen?

Your visions from your past might not align with where you’re going.  It’s okay to evolve and become a different person.  Things don’t always work out the way we expect, but they work out how they should.

What’s something new that you’re going to try?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect.  Something that we all want from others towards us, but do we always give it to those around us?

The world around us seems to be chaos and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of respect in the world.  We have people name-calling and speaking over each other.  People who don’t care what others have to say.  The only person whose opinion matters is their own.  Does that sound like a world where we respect each other?  It certainly doesn’t sound like one to me.

So, what do we do?  It can be a challenge because we must act differently from the energy around us.  We must act from a neutral place and not a reactive one.  We have to be the better person.  It’s possible!  The U.S. election is a few weeks away.  The energy surrounding it isn’t going to get better anytime soon.  If anything, it could get worse.

We are better than this!  We can rise above the chaos, and get back to living in a place where we care for our fellow neighbor.  A world where we help each other.  It may sound a little idealistic at this point, but the way things are right now, aren’t okay.  This shouldn’t be how we live.  We are better than this and we can be better than this!

You may be one of the people not acting this way and kudos to you, but I’m sure you know someone that is.  It could be a friend or family member.  You may not always agree with what they say or do, but do you still care for them?  Respect isn’t something that’s just given, it’s earned.  When we or those around us act in this way, that in and of itself is disrespectful.  Respect is a two-way street.  It’s not given if you don’t earn it.

Live your life as though you’re trying to earn the respect from those around you.  Be like those you want to be like.  Who do you admire?  Be like them.

Maybe someday we’ll get to a better place.  A place where we can respect each other, but right now a lot of us have work to do.  We can’t change things if we don’t respect the process.  Use the process we have and let’s start to change the outcome.  We can do this!

What don’t you respect right now?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Your Fault!

It’s not my fault, it’s yours!  I did exactly what I was supposed to do.  Here’s the thing, it’s always easier to blame others than to take responsibility, but you’re still not coming from the most empowered place.

With it being retrograde season, you’re reviewing your story.  Maybe others have blamed you for their problems in the past, or you’ve blamed others.  It’s not your responsibility to solve their problems, or theirs to solve yours.  You can help them if you choose, but you have a choice.  It’s time for people to accept responsibility for their own actions.

It's always easier to believe it’s someone else’s fault, but it doesn’t make it true.  When you pass that off on to someone else without working through it, you don’t allow yourself to grow.  You don’t become the best version of yourself.

I’ve been reminded of the lessons of responsibility and choice a lot the past few weeks and even had another reminder just before writing this.  It hurts to be someone else’s fall girl or guy.  It may even make us want to react in turn, but that isn’t the answer.  Before responding walk away and come back to it later.  Allow yourself time to process your emotions.  The only person’s choices you can truly be responsible for are your own.  You’re responsible for you.

I wish I could tell you life is easy. We’re sent here to learn lessons and given the chance to demonstrate it’s been learned.  You’re challenged until you do.  The rights and wrongs are yours to do with as you may.  You can continue ignoring what’s in front of you or you can accept your role, be responsible and start to do the work.  The choice is yours.

What do you need to be responsible for?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Endings are…

What do endings mean for you?  Are they happy, sad, or frustrating?  Maybe it depends on what the ending is.

If it is a death, it’s sad.  There’s the grieving process to go through and the realization that you have to find a new way forward.

There are break-ups.  Whether you are the one doing the breaking up, or the one left behind whether it be romantic or friendship.  All these factors can determine your reaction.  You may feel a sense of freedom or depression.

You could be moving.  You might be sad to be leaving one location and excited for the next chapter to begin.

There are so many different types of endings.  Endings normally involve change.  If the change is thrust upon you, you will have a different reaction to the one that you choose.

Every ending involves finding a way to have power over your life.  It’s ok to be sad, but it’s not ok to wallow in it.  You can express your emotions, and you should.  Emotions should always be let out. Don’t repress them for long periods of time.  The emotions that you’ve ignored will find a way of coming back.  It’s best to deal with them in the moment or shortly thereafter.  Set aside time to cry or be angry.  You’ll be happier that you did.

What types of endings are you experiencing in your life?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Hope & Faith

Hope is what leads you to make those challenging and sometimes difficult changes.  It’s what makes you strive for a better life.  It’s what makes you work through your triggers to get to your dreams.

The last few months have challenged hope to what may seem like the breaking point.  I just want things to be the way they were!  I want things to be normal!  Trying to balance the line between what is and what could be, can lead you to topple to the ground.

I hate to say this, but 2020 isn’t done with us yet.  We’re in a period of time that doesn’t happen often.  Thank goodness!  Could even be a once in a lifetime event.  But maybe not.  Either way we’re being forced to work on our issues.  Sometimes hope has taken a backseat.

In the coming months, you will need hope and faith more than ever.  The challenges and frustrations aren’t quite ready to go away.  You haven’t learned what you need to learn quite yet.

Oh, but haven’t I been through enough?  Unfortunately, the answer is no.  You are meant to step up.  You’re meant to make a difference.  There is so much more out there for you.  It’s time to tap into your hopes and dreams.  There may be times where all seems lost, and there could be more of those days to come.

Never lose hope!  It’s the thing that keeps you going.  It’s what will one day get you over the threshold and walk into your dreams.  Hope is everything, even when all seems lost.

What do you hope for?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?  This is often the way we think of mirrors.  As a way of seeing ourselves as we are, but what if there’s another use of mirrors?

Mirrors in the energy world can be used to bounce energy on to another.  It’s this use that I’m speaking of now.  In the psychological world, this phenomenon is known as projection.

As an example, do you ever complain about someone in your life being a slob?  The idea behind project is that you need to take a closer look at your own cleanliness tendencies.  You could literally be a total slob (hoarder) or you may just need to examine an area of your life.

The areas of our life that we tend to complain most about are the areas that we need to work on. As human beings, we tend to “project” these areas on to those surrounding us, typically to the most significant person in our life.

Another example, does it often feel like you have the same problems with people repeatedly.  It’s another perfect example of projection.  Sometimes you reach a point where you need to look at the common denominator.  No matter how difficult it might be to hear, sometimes you reach a point where you have to accept that it has something to do with you.

To truly grow as a person, you have to work on yourself.  Nobody is perfect.  It’s always easier to moan, complain and blame others for our problems, than to change the obvious.  It takes work and effort, but it’s well worth it to change the problem and dialogue.  It won’t normally change overnight, but yes, it can change.  So, what are you going to do about it?

What are you projecting on to others?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Want You to Like Me!

Do you change who you are based upon the people you’re around?  Do you go along with what others want because you don’t want them to dislike you?

We talk about these areas a lot in relation to teenagers and peer pressure.  But that type of pressure is just as prevalent in us as adults as it was when we were younger. 

As a teenager it may have been smoking or drinking alcohol to fit in, but as adults we may shift who we are for someone to like us or even love us.  We can even completely lose our sense of identity.  One day we wake up and don’t recognize our lives.  We begin to question how did we get here?

Or maybe the person that you shared your life with, showed you who they were.  Brief glimpses, but you were in love and that was what mattered.  It could have been a friend.  You idealized who they were.  You never saw who they really were.

There are so many reasons why.  When we can finally see without the blinders there is a sense of shock.  You try and process the information.  You reveal what happened to your friends and family.  Some will say they knew it all along.  Is that helpful?  Others will sit with you in the pain and move you forward. 

The past month has been full of revelations.  A sense of clarity.  Maybe we aren’t as enlightened as we thought, but we can still resonate at a higher vibration. We can still move forward. 

There have been truths coming out.  We can’t ignore them anymore.  Whether those truths are a part of our personal lives or something on a more global scale.  Seemingly bad things can be revealed to us.  The question is how do you respond?  Do you react from an emotional standpoint?  Or one that is well thought out. Those of us that speak from a reactionary place can cause damage whether we mean to or not.  We aren’t speaking from a place that is for our highest good.

Take some time this week and those coming to think before you respond.  What’s more important?  Is it what someone else likes or that you like yourself?  It can be hard to answer because we can desperately want both.

We must start somewhere.  The most important thing is to love yourself.  You can always find different friends or life partners, but you can never escape you.  Value who you are.  Treat yourself well.  Don’t bend who you are to meet anyone else’s expectations.  Loving yourself is the start of a better path forward and to all of life’s craziness.

Have you changed who you are for someone else?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself.  You didn’t know.  This can apply to so many areas of your life.  From trusting someone that you shouldn’t, to not knowing something about yourself.  The truth is . . . you didn’t know.

Part of life is the journey of discovery.  We’re sent here to learn new things.  If we entered this world already knowing everything, it would get boring quickly.  Although a little bit of boredom might be nice sometimes.  Just saying.

We learn new things every single day.  It’s part of our path.  Right now, so many of us are learning a lot and for some of us our entire lives have been tipped upside down.  It’s ok.  You didn’t know.  But here’s the thing about not knowing, it’s ok until you do.  Once you know and you choose to do nothing, that’s now a choice.

I’ve been struggling over the past week with how I proceed with my discoveries about white privilege and finding a way forward. To take action and to help myself and others forgive themselves for not knowing. I would normally have joined a protest but due to the pandemic, it doesn’t feel like that’s the correct choice for me.  If it’s the right choice for you, I applaud you, but remember to try and stay safe.  This isn’t over.  We haven’t learned what we need to yet.

I saw a post on Facebook that our local church was asking people to join around the church for 8 minutes and 46 seconds while the bell rang.  I’m sure most of you are aware at this point of the significance of that amount of time, but just to be sure, it’s the amount of time associated with the death of George Floyd.  I really wanted to join in, but I had to find another way.  I remembered that I could hear the bells from my house.  So as the bells started to ring, I took a knee out on the lawn.  What do I do next?  I’m not sure yet, but I can’t turn back and be blind.  I’m sure more will be revealed to me and you before our time is done, but we have to forgive ourselves for what we didn’t know and find a new way forward.  I’m working on forgiving myself.  It’s up to you to determine how to forgive yourself.

What do you need to forgive yourself for?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time to Learn and Listen

These past weeks have taught us a lot about the world, the United States and ourselves.  There’s so much we don’t know; I’m included in this statement.  While scrolling through posts on Facebook, I read something that jumped out from the headlines.  There’s racism in all of us.  The first thing I wanted to do was deny that statement, but the more I pondered it, the more I had to admit there it’s true.

Racism has been present since the time the United States was founded.  Slavery has been a part of this country from the beginning in some form.  We had a Civil War to outlaw slavery, but it never really ended.  The people found ways around it.  We had the Civil Rights Movement, but again people found ways to continue with their beliefs.  Confronting our beliefs is one of the hardest things to do in life.

I grew up in the State of Maine.  To put it simply, there isn’t a lot of diversity.  For the few that were of a different race, they stood out.  This was my limited exposure as a child.  Even now most of the people I come across look like me.  I had never thought about the concept of “white privilege” until recently, which in of itself tells something about my privilege.

I didn’t agree with so many things happening in the United States, but I cried tears of hope when we elected our first black president.  I hoped that things could change.  While there was a portion of the population that was different, there was a portion that wasn’t about to let the old way of life go.

The universe has a way of repeating messages until we can see what we didn’t want to see. Hopefully, we’re starting to receive the message.  I’ve been searching my own soul.  I cried as I watched officers of the law tear gas protestors in our nation’s capital on live television and wondered how did we get to this point.

Our nation has an opportunity to be different, but first we must confront our past.  We have been part of the problem, whether we want to or not.  Racism is present whether we agree with it or not.  But how do we move forward?  I don’t have all of the answers, but two responses that I keep getting are community and listening.

Growing up I lived in a neighborhood, a very small one I’ll admit, but my neighbors knew my name.  I’d walk to school; people would wave and knew who I was.  I knew the names of the police officers.  I knew that if I did something wrong, someone was going to tell my parents.  I still live in this same town and it’s not the same place.  I don’t know all of my neighbor’s names. I don’t know our police by name.  I don’t know the people in our community.

Our communities are no longer part of our joys and sorrows.  We don’t know what people need.  We lost community along the way.  When we know our neighbors and who they are as people, we’re less likely to vilify them based upon our perceptions.  It’s not an easy undertaking but rebuilding the foundation of an entire country isn’t either.

I want to believe that there’s good in everyone.  Some days are harder than others.  I hope that people aren’t beyond redemption.  I hope that we can change the narrative and listen to what our neighbors need.  The best thing I can do right now with my white privilege is to say I don’t know the answers, but I’m ready to learn and to listen.  I don’t know the people in my community, but I’m ready to at least learn your names.  I’m ready to do better.  I’m ready to grow and to know that it’s going to take time.  Growth can be a painful process but there’s something each one of us can learn.

What have you learned or need to learn?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.