Category: Change

Lovability

Before you can become empowered in your life, the first step is to learn to love yourself.  Be truthful with yourself.  Do you love who you are?  If you don’t then you know where to start.

Learning to love myself was my first step and the hardest.  I had been programmed from an early age that I wasn’t good enough.  When I entered school at 5, I learned that I wasn’t “right”.  For the first couple of years in school, I saw an occupational therapist.  While she was nice, most of the other kids in my class didn’t have to see her.  I saw her to help with my lack of coordination and sensitivity to touch.  Part of my homework was to get brushed down with a special brush.  While the program helped with these issues it created programming.  I wanted to be “normal” like all the other kids in my class.  I learned to be someone else.  This caricature of me morphed over the years, but it was a facade.  Most people didn’t know me, and I reached a point where I didn’t know myself.  It is quite challenging to love yourself when you have no clue who you are. 

At 30 years old I realized that I wasn’t close to any of my life goals.  I wasn’t married.  I didn’t have children.  I didn’t have a boyfriend.  My job was ok, but it didn’t light me up inside.  I went to work every day, but it didn’t really make me happy.

One of my co-workers convinced me to join a dating site.  She had a blast looking through all the potential partners out there and checking in to see how it was going, but for me it didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  What was the issue?  I still didn’t know who I was.

I finally decided to take a step back.  I started stepping into the spiritual world after my nephew was born in 2011.  I read a book called Loveability by Robert Holden in 2014 and started putting the pieces together.  I needed to discover who I was.  I read lots of books.  Dabbled with astrology, numerology and other methodologies that might help me to answer the question, who am I?  It took me a while and just when things seemed to be coming together, I got triggered by my need to fit in.  I started feeling out of place at my job and that I had to be someone else.  I wasn’t allowed to share my spiritual perspective, so I shut down that area of my life at work.  But when you spend 37.5 hours per week shutting down an aspect of yourself it can make it a challenge to be the best version of yourself.  I was tired.  I found it harder and harder to do my job.  I felt like I was constantly being criticized.  All of this was coming to a breaking point that ended when I was terminated from my job.

I finally had an opportunity to be myself.  I was led to an empowerment coaching program and jumped in.  I received coaching myself as part of the program.  I was finally starting to get back to being me.  I already had a community of people who knew the real me, but I had never really been me at work.  In August I started a part-time job and had the chance to be me.  I was accepted by each person.  They seem intrigued by what I can do and who I am.  They share some interest in the metaphysical world, but the most important lesson is that I can be me and be accepted at a place of employment.

I’m still getting my business going, but I’m happier now even being triggered by my limiting beliefs every day then I was when I didn’t know who I was or was trying to be someone else.

Now for my personal life.  I’m getting closer every day, but before I could love someone else in an equal partnership, I had to learn to love me.  I’m a work in progress just like you and every other person, but I’m getting there.  But I’m at a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and say I love you without cringing.  I will take that progress and move forward.

Do you love who you are?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Celebrate Life

We have a lot to learn in this world but specifically about death.  We have a hard time letting people go.  And then there is the mourning and grief process.  For some people they’re able to move forward, and for others they dwell in their grief for years.

My first exposure to death was when I was 17.  People in my family had died over the years, but I didn’t really know them.  This was the first time I knew the person.  I was close with my Papa Paul.  I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him, but at the end of his life he wasn’t truly able to live.  He could no longer read and had trouble taking tape off a present.  We had his funeral during the Ice Storm of 1998.  There was no electricity at our house or the funeral home.  The minister needed a flashlight to read his notes.  My first experience with the grieving process was unique, but I have come to realize that the process of funerals and memorial services are as the unique as the person themselves.  I watched my grandmother during the funeral.  She had lost her husband of 57 years and the word that has always come to mind is stoic.  I never saw her cry.  She soldiered on.  I learned that you soldier on.

My most recent experience with death happened only a few weeks ago.  My Aunt Louise was 96 years old and had been in and out of the hospital.  Her family asked for prayers.  I prayed that if it was in her highest and best good for her to stay that she stay, if it wasn’t for her to have a peaceful transition to the other side.  She was with us only a few more days.  She was like another grandmother to me growing up.  She had always been there.  She was there to guide us and support us as she had so many others.  But it was her time to go.  I posted a message on Facebook in tribute to her.  I received a multitude of condolence messages.  I knew that she was in a better place.  Aunt Louise was a person that deserved to be recognized in death with praise that she didn’t need in life.  As we have done many times over the years, we gathered.  When most of your relatives pass in their 80s and 90s, you learn to celebrate their lives.  We told stories and laughed.  There were some tears, but she wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad.  She had accomplished everything that she had set out to do.  She was welcomed to the other side by a pack of dogs and the family members that had passed before her.  Her journey was complete.

Death is an opportunity to pause and reflect.  What do you admire?  Where are you off your life path?  I cannot speak to the death of a spouse or child because that isn’t something that I have experienced.  Longevity runs in my family.  I am one of the fortunate ones.  I have had the privilege of getting to know all four of my grandparents and their siblings.  I got to know who they were and while I miss their physical existence, I know they are around me.  I still have my own journey to pursue.

Death is one of the few certainties of life.  We have an opportunity to view things differently.  We can still communicate with our loved ones, but we may need a translator.  They communicate with us in our everyday lives.  During my aunt’s reception, the lights flickered.  Her and our extended family was with us in spirit.  They are still part of our journey but are no longer part of our physical world.

How do you view death?  Do you celebrate their legacy?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Time For Happiness Is Now

Are you happy?  For most people the answer is no.  You may he happy in an area of your life, but overall the answer is no.  The decisions that you’ve made in your life have led you to this point.  The decisions can be due to believing it’s the right decision or being afraid to make a different one.

Fear of the unknown is a reason that people remain stuck in their lives.  The known even if it causes discomfort is better than the path not yet taken.  But the planetary energies are pushing us on to this new path.  What might have felt right at one time has lost its appeal, or is becoming more difficult to maintain.  Spirit will keep triggering us until we make the change.

Most of my life I didn’t like change.  Dread might be a better word.  For me, change seemed to involve the people I loved dying and dreams not turning out as I expected.  Even when I stepped on the spiritual path taking the leap on to the unknown was difficult.  Even having multiple psychics tell me I could do this took a while to comprehend.  I had already started down a path that I desperately wanted to work.  I would work harder and keep trying.  It had to work.  The problem was while that concept worked for some people, it didn’t for me.  The reason it wasn’t my path.  It was a lesson that I needed to learn as I walked my path.  Taking the leap on to my path was terrifying and challenging, but with a bit of excitement.  I needed a push on to it or maybe a shove.  Without it, I might still be working on the lesson.  We all have our reasons for staying put, but we are sent to this world for a reason.  We can make a difference if we have the courage to be our authentic selves and not who we think we should be.

So how did I overcome the fear to change?  I started to work through it.  I worked on the beliefs that I had learned over the years.  I cast away the story that I told myself about why I was unhappy and started to write a new one.  The fear to change is still there, but it has been muted.  It reactivates the next time I make an uncomfortable change, but it has lessened. 

As of this moment, I’m not where I believe I’m meant to be.  But I’m happier now working multiple jobs, putting the pieces together, and trying to figure out what my gifts are, and how to incorporate those into my new business, than I was playing it safe and following the path I thought I was meant to follow.

When it comes down to it we have so little time on this planet called Earth.  We have hopes and dreams, but are afraid to start following them until we feel safe and secure.  Then and only do we feel it’s possible to do what we love.  What if I told you there is another way?  It may mean having multiple jobs, like me, but the time to act is now.  Only by walking through the fear can you begin to feel happy in your life.  Act.  It may be something small or jumping off the cliff, but either one will start the process of catapulting you into a new life.  Take the leap.  Do you need help?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Enough!

When do you raise up your hands and say enough?  I give up!  Well that depends on two things: do you need to surrender to the will of the universe or is it time to give up?  The answer requires that you tap into yourself.  Only you can answer that question.  That is what makes this question so challenging.

So what do you do?  I can’t answer for you, but I ask myself the question, do I want this?  It may bring up fear.  Is it a good fear or an exciting fear?  It may feel like dread.  That is when I know that it’s time to do something different, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.  It can take a while to wrap your head around how to proceed.

If I’m honest with my myself, I knew that it was time to leave my job before I was forced to leave in January.  My heart was no longer invested, but I needed time to decide on my steps.  I thought I had time to figure that out, but in my case the clock was ticking.  I had to figure out my next steps afterwards, but one thing was certain, that part of my life was over and it felt right.  Nine months later I don’t regret my decision to go in a new direction.  My new direction is hard and challenging, but it is exciting.  I know deep in my heart that it is the right decision.  Now I need to surrender to the timing and will of the universe.  This past week signs that the energy is moving in a new direction have started to show up.  People are asking about my new business.  It has been almost five months since I launched my business.  I had to demonstrate my commitment to what I know is right, and that I made the right decision in moving my life in a new direction.  Someday soon I will wake up and begin to see the results of my commitment.  The timing isn’t right yet.

I apply this same practice to making decisions about other matters, including my personal life.  Those have been more challenging.  The challenging part of the process is that we can want something so badly it can be hard to see straight.  Something can feel absolutely and totally right, but the timing isn’t.  We can have an idea of the course we will chart, but we must surrender to the outcome.  Surrendering is hard and it is a process that sometimes you will need to do over and over again.  I find that that every time I go through the process tears are involved.  There is an emotional component and limiting beliefs that need to be faced.  These are the actions that I’m taking to show my commitment to being a more empowered person.  The universe responds to action and commitment.

What decisions are you making now?  What is your process for deciding when it is time to give up or surrender?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Time Out!

Sometimes before we can reach our destination, we need to take time off for ourselves.  We need to rest our bodies.  If we don’t listen, spirit will send signs and synchronicities to get our attention.  If you still don’t listen, it can send illnesses or ailments.

We can’t always go, go, go.  Sometimes we must take a time out.  With starting my own business, there are days where I go, go, go and don’t stop until I climb into bed.  There are other days where I feel like I must force myself to accomplish anything and that is ok.  It is all part of my process.

This past week has been all go, go, go.  I took some time on Sunday for me, but apparently it wasn’t enough because the universe sent me nausea.  Plus, I went for my monthly appointment with my chiropractor and my body was completely out of alignment.

I needed to take time to think and provide myself with clarity.  What specifically do I want?  Who do I want to be?  With that information I can begin the manifestation process.  I must be specific with what I want though.  I took some time to state specific goals for my business and personal life.  I can now begin releasing my anticipated outcome.  But I need to take small action steps to show that I am willing to move in that direction.  One of my goals is to start incorporating more of me into my social media.  I have been practicing for several months by recording myself, but no one has seen them yet.  It is time for me to be seen.  I had been getting the message on my daily walks, but haven’t done anything with the message.  So, the universe sent me a time out to ponder and reflect.  Now I need to work through the fear of showing my videos for others to see.  The only way to move past fear is through it.

Do you need to rest and relax?  Do you need clarity regarding an area of your life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Car Problems Again!

What do car problems have to do with spirituality?  Well, let me fill you in.  Everything happening around you is a sign from the universe or an indicator of what is happening in your internal world.  If you can decipher the message, the sign can help you move forward.

What do I mean?   In 2013 I was just beginning to become interested in the spiritual world.  I had purchased a Subaru Impreza in 2010 and had never had any issues, but suddenly there was this loud clunking noise every time I turned my wheel.  My car was brand new and shouldn’t be making that noise.  I met a friend for lunch, and we went to a small metaphysical event that I heard about through my sister.  Her sister-in-law was there giving readings.  I had met her several times over the years, but she didn’t know much about me.  I had my first reading. She asked me if I had been having problems with my car.  I’m listening.  Your grandfather is trying to get your attention.  You’re not listening to him.  She delivered his message.  I went to my car and drove home.  I realized the sound my car was making had gone away.   I could have spent a fortune on trying to figure out a problem that didn’t really exist, but was energy trying to deliver me a message.

Fast forward 3 years, I knew that I was going to need new tires, but according to the Subaru garage, I should have about 6 months left.  Not even a week later, I am driving home from work and my tire goes flat.  AAA comes and puts on my spare tire and off I go.  The next day I put four new tires on my car.  Another week goes by, I go to the Enlightenment Expo in Portland and walk out to my car at the end of the night.  My rear driver’s side tire is flat.  How can that be?  I have 4 brand new tires.  AAA comes again and puts my spare tire on.  I had gotten a nail in my tire.  I went back to where I had gotten the new tires, they fixed me up and off I went.  That was in 2016.  Every year since then I have had low tire pressure indicators at least twice a year.  I had one in June this year, and one this past weekend.  Both were on my passenger rear tire.  Each of these events has been trying to tell me something.  I have had the tire examined each time as well. 

In the first instance, the message from my Papa was that I needed to move forward in a new direction.  In the second, I had punctured my tires.  I was in the process of changing my life, but some obstacles and delays were being presented.  I needed to look at these obstacles from a new perspective.  The third, I had slow leaks.  I was taking my energy in directions that weren’t necessarily serving me.  I needed to make some small tweaks and focus on my dreams.  It was a time to re-examine what I’m doing.  I needed to gain clarity about my life, and what I’m manifesting.  I’m in this process now.  Trying to be clear about what I want. 

What signs is the universe sending you?  Have you experience anything like flat tires on a continuous basis?  What do you think it means?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Don’t Things Go the Way I Want?

Expectations are hard.  You desperately want things to go your way.  You want them to happen in a certain manner.  Expectations are challenging because the magic lies in the unexpected.

Our lives rarely unfold how we expected.  Spirit wants things to be better than we dreamed, but we need to allow that new vision to happen.

It is difficult to get out of our head and allow something to unfold.  One method that I’ve used in getting a different perspective is from talking to psychics, mediums, astrologers, energy healers and other intuitives.  Each one that I have spoken with has assisted me in looking at an event that is happening or has happened from a new perspective. 

With the new direction my life has taken this year, I have spoken to several readers to confirm the messages that I was receiving from the universe.  While you can read for yourself, expectations can be a problem.  It is easier to read for someone else than to read for yourself.

Since I began my spiritual journey, I’ve met many readers, many of whom I’m now friends with.  Every reader is unique, but most will provide you with clarity.  The best way to find a reader is to know someone who has had readings in the past.  This will provide you with information about the services the reader provides and whether they were good.  Who would I recommend?  These people aren’t listed in any order. 

I’ve done work with bigger names, but mainly as a student.  These have been my go-to people over the years when I have need one on one sessions. 

Who helps you with getting your expectations in perspective?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Let Go of the Past and Step into a New Life

When you first start out on the spiritual path, you are taught that if you are grateful and positive you will start a new life.  While part of that is true, there is one problem.  You are a human being.  That human being has memories and emotions stored within the body.  In order to be truly grateful and to manifest a life that is for highest and best good, you must go backwards.

You have a story.  It is a story that is repeated.  It can be a story that you tell yourself, or one that you see appear in front of you.  But that story is what is holding you back.  To get where we want in life, we must first confront our story.

For years I did the positivity thing and would state affirmations.  While they changed my outlook on life, they didn’t change the outcome of my life.  I still wore a mask.  I wasn’t myself.  I had the story on repeat in my head.  I would look at other people and compare how my life was and the perception that I had of them.  I didn’t measure up and there was a why even try type of attitude.

In January I signed up for a coaching certification program and started working on the course work.  As I listened to coaching call after coaching call, I had an epiphany.  Each woman that I listened to sounded like me.  There were slight variations in their story, but they were each relatable.  I could always find something in common with them.  Like me, some of them tried to hide the problems with their life, but their problems would follow them.  They would leave one job and the problem would follow them to a new job.  They would leave one relationship to have some of the same issues present themselves in the next relationship.  Their problems didn’t just disappear, they presented in a new form.   In order to truly move forward and live an empowered life you must examine your past.  Whether it is the past in this lifetime or another lifetime.  It will follow you until you release what is stored in your body.  The body doesn’t lie. 

Take a moment and think about the reasons that you have left jobs or relationships.  Do they have a common theme?  These themes are trying to provide us clues.  Once we start to examine the clues, we truly start to create the change that we are searching for.  Let’s release that story that no longer serves you and who you are meant to be.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Do I Have to Be Grateful For?

Gratitude is tricky.  Society teaches that we should want.  We should want a bigger house, a better car, more money.  But the secret to manifesting what you want is gratitude.  Being grateful for what you already have. 

How can I be grateful for what I already have?  I am not where I thought I would be in my life.  I am starting over again.  Growing up I thought I would be married and have children by now, but that hasn’t happened yet.  I thought that I would have a successful career but didn’t know what I would be.  As a child, I would pretend I was a teacher.  Was that because it was something that I was meant to do, or something that I thought I should be since many of my family members were teachers.  But I do not currently have a successful career, I am starting a new career path.  I know it is a path that I’m meant to follow.  Not sure quite yet how all the pieces are coming together, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction, but what do I do while all the pieces come together? 

My life is not what I expected, but it is what it is.  I can’t change my past, but I can work through it.  I can change what I have done in the past that has led me to where I am today.  Patience is required, for Spirit doesn’t move as quickly as we would like.  There may be other people in play, it is hard to see these changes play out in real time.  We want an instantaneous response.  But you know what?  Life doesn’t work that way.  We must fight for what we want, right?  Society teaches us to fight for what we want.  But what if the reverse is true? What if we are supposed to be grateful for what we have, and trust that what will come to us if it is in our highest and best good.

There was a time when I wouldn’t have been able to think that way, let alone be willing to try it.  But there comes a point in life where you’re willing to try anything even the unconventional.  So, back to gratitude.  Gratitude may seem an unconventional philosophy at first, but it has its virtues.  I am grateful that I have a family that is willing to support me as I undergo this new venture in my life.  I am grateful that I have friends and family that I can bounce ideas off.  I am grateful that I have had so many opportunities in my life, so I have been able to try new things.  I am grateful that people have been willing to give me a chance.  I am grateful that I can change.  I can change my life; I can change my perspective.  I can change my life. 

Only I can change my life.  No one else can do it for me.  No matter how much I wish I could blame other people for where I am in my life, it is all me.  The choices that I made.  The paths that I’ve taken have led me to this moment.  I am grateful that I can see my life for what it is.  It is a work in progress, and I have a choice to make.   What do I want my life to look like five years in the future?   I want to be happy in both my personal life and my career path.  So, today I am grateful that I can make a change and take a different path. 

It can be hard to find a silver lining for it is not always on the surface for us to easily find, but it is there.  You may need someone else to help you find it. What are you grateful for?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I’m Quite Bendy

Are you flexible?  Being flexible is something I’m working on.  We can be shown something, or know something is right deep within our gut, but it doesn’t always happen the way we expect.

It is ok to go back to the drawing board.  I do it every day.  It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, but that something else might be in play.  It could be divine timing is off.  It could be the energies aren’t right.  You may need to work on releasing energy from your system to welcome in the new.

The energies of July were intense.  Between the eclipses and all the retrograde planets, it seems like things have been on hold.  Things that we anticipated moving and advancing, stopped and dug in.

I spent the month of July cleaning up my emotional body and when I thought I was close to being ready to move forward, Mercury moved direct on July 31 and the eclipse energies officially closed with the new moon the same day.  The universe had a surprise for me.  When I first started planning my business, I had anticipated having a part-time job.  One seemed to line itself up, but it fell through, Mercury Retrograde was in action then too.  I took it as a message, and verified it through multiple tools (oracle cards, pendulums, other readers, etc.).   The universe was telling me I didn’t need the part-time job, so I put the idea on hold.  Three months later though, things haven’t turned out the way I thought, and Mercury Retrograde was back.  I put on my “asking for help” cap.  The part-time position that had fallen through in April was back open, so I reached out and inquired about the position.  Within a short period of time, I had an appointment to talk about the position, and now have a part-time position.

But here’s the thing. I have always needed to have a sense of control.  I have three planets in the fixed sign of Scorpio (Sun, Mercury, and Uranus).  I’m currently being pushed by spirit to go with the flow.  I’m learning to loosen the reins and go where the universe wants me to go.  It is one of the hardest things I’ve done, but there are moments where it feels right, and I know it is the correct decision and part of my life path.  For me it is finding the balance between flexibility and control.

How are you doing with the dance between flexibility and control?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.