Accept It

The world seems to be of two extremes now.  Joy or the inability to accept what’s transpired.
 
It’s easy to feel giddy when things go the way you want, but do you do when they don’t.  Things don’t always go as we’ve planned or expect.  There are days when you come up with a plan and just as the day begins your plan has gone awry.  It’s the nature of life.
 
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identifies the 5 stages of grief as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Getting to the acceptance phase can take time and, in some cases, might never happen. 
 
Denial.  We don’t want to hear it.  We want to hide from the world.  The idea that this can’t be happening right now.  It can’t be true.  Anger.  The pain starts to emerge.  We lash out at ourselves and those around us.  Bargaining.  The if only statements begin to appear.  We want someone else to step in.  Why couldn’t it have happened differently?  Maybe it still could.  Depression.  Sadness and regret.  Acceptance.  The stage where peace is made.  This process can happen quickly, or it may never reach completion.
 
It's ok to be upset that things didn’t work out how you wanted.  They don’t always, but it’s not ok to try and manipulate matters to meet your needs.  Give it a chance and see what happens.
 
We’re in a huge state of change in our lives.  Change is easiest when it’s the one we choose.  It’s difficult when it’s not.  It doesn’t change the reality of what’s going on.
 
What do you need to accept?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Real and Raw

Vulnerability.  A word that can absolutely terrify the best of us with its meaning. The idea of letting people see beyond the mask to the core of who we are, can create massive amounts of fear within the seemingly strong.

To open up and tell someone what we’ve been keeping to ourselves.  To reveal our shame, our guilt, our fears and be real can be challenging to say the least.  It could be one of the hardest things to do.  To walk up to someone and say how you feel, takes a tremendous amount of courage.  To say this no longer works for me.  To truly take a stand and be raw.  It’s ok to be afraid in the moment, but don’t let the fear stop you from taking the action.

Stand in your own power.  If someone else doesn’t agree, know that you spoke your truth.  If didn’t go the way you hoped, but it will be ok.  DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT abuse your power or force someone else to see things your way.  There is way too much of that in our world right now.  Others have a right to stand for their own principles.  Be kind in the moment.  You can be sad or frustrated later.  You should not take out those emotions on others.  If you have it’s ok.  You can do it differently next time.  You can apologize for your actions.

Each one of us needs to learn to stand strong in who we are.  If you already do, great, but remember it’s a practice.  You have to continue.  You have to do the work.  It’s easier to see the negative, than the positive.  It’s easier to lash out than to see our own shortcomings.

But always remember to be true to you.  If you can be real and vulnerable, do.  You can truly make an impact.

How are you being real and vulnerable today?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I’m So Tired

Have you been finding it hard to get up in the morning?  Or you could be finding yourself thinking, I’m so tired of this story.  Or maybe you’re literally falling asleep.

The energy of what you’ve been doing that may no longer work for you is starting to wear you down.  It’s time for something new and different, but sometimes you don’t know how to get there or are afraid to try.
Maybe you’ve noticed that you’ve run this movie before, and you can change the ending this time.  It’s an old story that you just want to stop.  You didn’t like the film the last time it was on and you certainly don’t like it now.

The universe is trying to get your attention.  You can change.  You can have a different ending.  You can shift your journey to a new path.  You’re being reminded that this story no longer works for you.  But how do you change the script?

It’s challenging when we’re right in the middle of the story to see our options.  We don’t like it, but what else can we do?  Sometimes you just must leap into alternative storylines.  Give it a try!  Maybe it will work.  Maybe it won’t, but you don’t know if you don’t at least try.

Maybe you’ve been doubting your intuition, and something happens that you can’t ignore.  It feels right, but you believe it can’t be right.  It just can’t be.  Ask someone else what they think.  You could totally surprise yourself.  You don’t know if you don’t ask.

One of my teachers said to respond to life’s questions with, “I don’t know”.  Our patterns can become a part of us, where we think we know what will happen.  When you learn what someone else thinks, you could be completely surprised by the response.

Being tired is an indicator.  It’s time to let go.  Say you don’t know want to see what happens.  Yes, giving up control can be terrifying at first, but after some time it can be liberating.  Try something different, even if it’s taking a different route to the grocery store.  See what happens.

What are you tired about?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Becoming You

What if you aren’t who you thought you were?  Unfortunately, traumatic events can make us not want to be hurt again, so we start to hold a part of ourselves back.  We don’t show who we are and allow our authentic self to shine through.

Having spent a good portion of the last 9 years or so working through trauma has now led me to the point of I thought I knew who I was but there’s more.  I was looking at pictures and I found one from about the age of 4 that has always spoken to me.  What is it about that one picture?  I’m starting to think it’s my authentic self speaking to me.  Helping me.  Guiding me back to the person I’m meant to be.

Nothing that I’ve done has been for not.  It has led me to this point.  I could say the same thing to you.  Everything that you’ve done has led you to this point.  The question is what do you do next?  Do you continue to play it safe or step up?  How do you move forward?

Becoming who you were meant to be is challenging.  We can doubt ourselves and not know which way to go.  So what do we do?  There are variations for each of us.  I tend to take the big picture and break it down into small pieces.  You may jump right in.  Neither one is right nor wrong.  It’s all about who we are.

All these energies are forcing us to review our story.  Who have we been and who do we want to become?  Who are we?  What do we value?  Does our day-to-day life demonstrate what we value?  Maybe you’re reviewing this list of questions and decide that you’re good.  That’s great!  You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself to reach that place, but what if you’re not?  Becoming the person you’re meant to be can present it’s own challenges, but when you finally know who you are, there’s nothing better.

Who do you want to be? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What’s Your Gut Telling You?

There’s so much information swirling around us every day.  Somedays do you even want to hear it?  Maybe it’s best if you don’t.  There are emails, social media posts, and news reports that not only present the facts, but how you should feel or react.  But, are they right?  Two different sides have their opinions about how to approach the issue and both have their own interpretation.  Is that interpretation, right?  Only you know what’s best for you!

With every piece of information that’s released, you have to act based on your own authority.  You can be confused.  It’s ok.  Take a breath.  What feels heavy to you?  Does it feel wrong to you?  Act from the information that feels right.  You must do what you need to feel safe and secure.  This goes back to the issue of choice. During this time of COVID-19, you have a choice, but so does the owner of the business that you visit.  Respect that others have a choice.  You may feel that your rights are being taken away from you (I’m not referring to people who are disabled in this statement).  You have the right to go somewhere else.  Your rights don’t mean that you can do whatever you want.  Our Constitution in the United States doesn’t mean that you can murder someone else or steal from someone else.  This isn’t any different.  You have the right to act from your instincts, but your rights don’t override someone else’s.

Having been trained in Reiki and energy work, you can’t act without someone’s permission.  You need approval to enter their field or coach someone.  For most practitioners that’s the first question you’re asked.  You have the right to say no and the discussion ends there.  I can want to help you, but my desire to help you doesn’t override your right to not want my help.  Nothing is different here.

You have the right to decide what’s right for you and wrong for you, but you don’t have the right for any other adult.  You might not like the decision, but that’s their call.  My question for you would be why does it bother you so much?

What’s your inner authority telling you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Just Do It!

Nike’s “Just Do It!” campaign can apply to so much more then just buying sneakers.  It can be a major lesson on life and taking action. 

Taking action can feel like one of the most terrifying things to do at times.  But what happens if we don’t?  There are so many possibilities.  We don’t allow ourselves to grow.  We self-sabotage.  In so many ways, we let life pass us bye.  FYI, it doesn’t really pass us bye. 

Sabotaging ourselves doesn’t feel like that in the moment.  We’re afraid to take that step.  We’re not sure.  What will life look like on the other side?  It could make you different from your friends and/or family.  Whatever it may be could be stopping you from stepping into something you’ve dreamed of.

I know we’re still amid a pandemic and we aren’t supposed to leave our homes.  But what I’m talking about doesn’t necessarily require you to leave your home.  There are still ways you can act.  Action doesn’t have to mean an accomplishment of a major goal but could be small steps towards reaching a major goal.

Over the course of the last year, I have taken small steps to big goals.  I have been working on my empowerment coaching certification.  One call at a time.  I’m almost done!  But as I reach the finish line, that fear can creep back in.  What does it mean once I’m finished?  I don’t know the answer to that yet.  But so that I accomplish this, I have set small goals to finish my written examination.  It is an exam of 40 questions, 20 about the course and 20 about 3 of my calls.   I said that I’m going to work on it an hour per day.  I looked back through my notes and started piecing together the responses to the first 20 questions.  Then I drafted my responses.  This part I’ve now completed.  Next, go back and listen to my 3 calls.  Listen to one call per day and draft my responses as I go.  I plan on submitting the exam on April 30.  Some days I haven’t done anything, and you know what?  That’s ok!  I’m making progress.  I started at the beginning of April.  I gave myself plenty of time with the expectation that I might not want to work on it some days.  I told people about my deadline to hold myself accountable.  You’re part of that team as I near the finish line!  I broke my goal into small manageable pieces.  These are the same steps I took when starting my business.  I’ve found this process works for me.  Maybe it doesn’t work for you.  That’s ok too!  It’s about finishing a way forward to something you might not have done.

You might have started but not finished.  I have a lot of those too!  Someday I will check them off and find a way to complete them.  But one thing at a time.  I can always go back and work on them.  First, pick a goal and work through the fears that are going to creep in.  They always do.  It’s how we know we’re on the right track.  Second, break it down into small steps.  Third, come up with a deadline.  Fourth, tell someone.  Fifth, just do it. 

What’s your goal?  How are your fears holding you back?  What can you do to move forward?   Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

We live at a point in time where our daily life can be super uncomfortable.  Our security, our safety, and our level of comfort have been rocked.  We are being forced to live outside of our comfort zone and most of us don’t like it!  It’s one thing to make a choice to step outside of your comfort zone and make changes to your life, but it’s another to have those changes forced upon you.

None of us want to have decisions made for us.  We want to oversee our lives.  Living in a COVID-19 world, people are in pain.  People are dying.  People are drowning in debt.  People can’t pay their bills.  People don’t have food.  It can be challenging to see the positives and opportunities when we are just trying to survive.

For so many of us, right now is about surviving.  We’re trying to make it one day or pay one bill.  I know this can be hard to hear, but we might be missing what we need to learn.  COVID-19 is an opportunity for us to learn.  To make the hard decisions.

For years I lived in the dark.  I didn’t want to know what my problems were, I just wanted them to miraculously go away.  I didn’t care whether it was someone else coming to save me or my life just suddenly got better.  Either way was good.  I didn’t care how it happened.

Growing up I thought that certain things would happen at a certain point in my life.  For some they did, but for me, they didn’t seem to work out that way.  When I turned 30, I didn’t want to acknowledge that my life wasn’t what I had dreamed it would be.  The hardest question I ever asked myself was why.  Asking that question meant that I could no longer live my life in denial.  I had to take the leap out of my comfort zone.  That leap was one of the most terrifying things I had done.  Starting my own business last year was officially the most terrifying thing I have ever done.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable.

What you’re experiencing right now is a push out of your comfort zone and I’m right there with you.  I’ve been given another shove put of my comfort zone this past month.  My routine has been totally disrupted.  My income has been shaken up.  One of the hardest things that I had to do was overcome my pride and file for unemployment.  I had done everything right!  I had gotten a part-time job to help pay my bills while my business was getting established.  I stepped past my pride and had to have courage and trust that all would be ok.  The interesting thing is that by taking that leap I’m doing better than I was a month ago.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is.  I’m grateful that I’m doing better, but I also know that I’ve done a lot of work to get there.  There was no miracle cure.  No one came to save me.  It was me.  I had to do the work and take the leap.  My discomfort had to grow to the point that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I had reached my breaking point.  Congratulations!  You may have just reached yours.  Here comes the opportunity for you to say that I’m never going to be like this again and start to make different decisions.

How are you going to step out of your comfort zone?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Have A Little Patience

How are you doing right now?  It’s ok if you’re having trouble adjusting.  We all are.  For most of us we go, go, go from waking to bedtime.  For most of us, we can’t do that anymore.  We may still have our jobs but are having to fit in schooling our children.  We may have lost our jobs and having trouble getting dressed.  You’re where you are right now and that’s ok.  Even when you can get dressed, you might have trouble doing something besides watching tv.  That’s ok too.  Be patient with yourself.

Things that we looked forward to are being canceled.  Even things that might have helped us to feel better like getting our hair or nails done aren’t an option.  It’s ok to be frustrated, depressed or angry.  It’s ok to be sad.  It’s ok to cry.  For us to start to feel better, you must release what you’re feeling, and it doesn’t happen overnight.  Honor where you are in the process.  If you feel like checking something off on your to-do list, then do it.  If you don’t, allow yourself permission to take a break.

We are being asked to heal.  The healing process for each person is different.  Each one of us is unique and so is our process.

Have patience with yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  I typically have a to-do list a mile long and over the last couple of weeks I haven’t done as much as I would have liked, but I like you, am having to figure out what my life is right now.  I miss my friends.  I miss my routine.  Things just aren’t the same.  I have watched videos on Facebook and movies and cried.  That’s not all that unusual for me, but it has helped.  I’m honoring where I am in the process.  I will get to the action phase soon, but for now, I’m adjusting and grieving for what was and determining what could be.

How have you been patient with yourself?  Or how do you need to be more patient with yourself? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time for a Little Faith

One of my favorite quotes has always been “faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”  A Miracle on 34th Street.  Sometimes we just have a feeling that everything is going to be ok.

We are living at a time when people around us are afraid.  You might even be one of them.  You may have lost your job or are about to lose it.  You might not be able to pay your bills.  You may know someone who is sick, or you may be.  You might just be frustrated that you can’t get everything done in a day.  First off, take a deep breath.  Everything happens for a reason.

For a long time, I had trouble with that statement, and I know I’m not alone.  Why does a young child get sick and die?  Why did this happen to me?  I wish I could answer all the why’s, but it isn’t always possible.  What I can tell you is that there is a lesson hidden in there and until you can find it, you must have a little faith.  Some of my biggest life lessons took me years to discover.  Some only took a few hours.

There is no right answer.  Every person lives life differently and you’re allowed to, but are you growing as a result or are you staying stuck?  If you’re stuck, it’s time to change that feeling and have a little faith that when we come out of quarantine that your life can be better.   Let’s be honest, life can’t be what it was before.  That may be hard to hear, but it’s true.  We can never be the people we were yesterday.  We have learned something or uncovered something which has moved us forward.  At the very least we are a day older.

On Tuesday I broke quarantine to go grocery shopping.  I started my day with a plan.  As soon as I put my key in the ignition my plan was gone.  I’ve spoken about my car battery before, well it decided it was done.  Why had it chosen that moment?  I looked to see who was open.  The least expensive option that I could see at the time was temporarily closed.  The only other place I could think of was the car dealership.  I called and they said they could replace the battery and it might still be covered under warranty.  I asked if he could look up when I purchased the battery.  I thought I had purchased it in 2016, but I had purchased it in October 2017.  It was still covered by the 30-month warranty.  I got a new battery for free!  I haven’t always had faith, but I had enough to get me there.  I had 1 month left on my warranty and if my battery hadn’t died, I will admit I would have tried to keep it going because I don’t have extra cash lying around.  But I also could have missed out on a free battery.  I was fortunate, but I was also going to another place and interacting with more people than I had planned.  As the day progressed, I started to think about how different things are from just a few weeks ago.  But I had to have faith that all would be ok.  I took all the precautions that I could and the rest I had to believe would work out.

We aren’t in quarantine just to keep us safe, but those around us safe.  To know that what we can contribute is enough and have faith that it is working.  Faith can help us in many things from getting a new car battery to walking through the grocery store to just working through our fear.  We just need to believe that everything will work out how it’s supposed to.  It’s time for a little faith.

What do you need faith to help you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Walking Wounded

This is a challenging time.  No one has ever seen anything like this, and we are unlikely to ever see anything like it again.  We are being asked to rise.  We are being asked to have compassion for our friends, our neighbors, our enemies, and ourselves.

It can be difficult when what we want isn’t going our way.  Our frustrations can be unleashed on those who have little to do with our problems.  This is a time to take a breath and think before we respond.

So many of us have lost our income.  We are having to file for unemployment and take steps that we never expected to take.  We did everything right.  Each one of us is the walking wounded.  We have so much in common right now, but it can be hard to see other people’s pain when we can barely see our own.

Last week was a challenge.  The place where I have been working part-time closed its doors until we are able to open again.  Last year I experienced all these major shifts and put the pieces together to have half of my plan blown apart again.  My first step was to make it through a day and then through the week.  It can be too hard to make decisions when you’re just trying to get through the day.

Once I made it through my work week, the next step was to take care of anything that I needed while on my way home.  Then I arrived home and cleaned up anything germs that I might have on me.  I washed the floors, the surfaces, and anything else I might have touched.  My final step was to give myself time.  I knew from experience that I could only take care of my most immediate needs at that moment.  I gave myself permission to feel anything I felt.  I listened to USA For Africa’s “We Are the World” and cried.  I worked through my pride and filed for unemployment so I could pay my bills.  I allowed myself to be angry at what this virus has done to the world, my plans, and to grieve for what I and others have lost. 

The world that we knew is not the same place and it can’t be.  When you do venture outside to get groceries or gas, say hello and thank the clerk.  Accept that the things you need might not be available.  Have compassion for those around you.  We are all in this together and are feeling the same things.  We will come out of this better people. 

After the attacks on September 11th one of the lessons I have always remembered was a sense of unity in our collective grief.  People hung their American flags at their door.  We have an opportunity again.  There is always a possibility of a rainbow after a rainstorm, but we must look for it.  Look for the silver lining.  We are resilient and will come through this stronger than ever.  We can do this but show a little kindness to each person.  It goes a long way.

How are you showing compassion? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.