Fantasy vs. Reality

For many of us a fantasy world can be a better world to reside in.  Reality can seem harsh at times.  It can be challenging to just move forward or get out of bed in the morning.  Reality can feel crushing at times and can lead to lots of tears.

A tower moment in my own life has been reached.  There are times when I prefer to live in the world of potential.  The land of yet to come, but that can be a distraction from looking at what is wrong in my life.  The energies of the past few days have made it impossible for me to live in a world of fantasy.  The reality of my life at this moment is a cocktail of disappointment and frustration.  2019 has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  I have travelled new paths and even though I know it is the right one, that doesn’t always make it easy.

My struggles are just as real as yours.  One moment I can be fine and the next a sobbing mess.  The slightest thing can set me off.  The unexpected can be a crash over a cliff.  There can be pain in knowing that something can’t happen yet.  This week I have been tested to practice what I preach.  After a few days of not being able to clearly see options, I reached out to a fellow coach to help with the reality of my life in this moment.

I’m optimistic because life can change for the better in an instant, but right now I’m taking my own advice and sitting with the pain.  About a year ago I received the warning of a bad review that my life was about to shift.  I started thinking and planning, but in reflection I’m still coming to terms with what that meant.  Things haven’t gone exactly as expected.  There have been challenges, struggles and lessons learned, but I must find my way forward.  I’m sure there will be more lessons as I progress, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day soon joy will feature more prominently in my life.

Reality can feel harsh, but it is showing me a new way forward.  I must continue to grow and expand, just as you do.  Life isn’t perfect.  My life isn’t perfect and I’m sure that yours isn’t either.  The pain of reality can stop so many of us from pursuing our dreams.  I’m working on now allowing the reality of what my life looks like right now stop me from finding success on my new path, but my fantasy world still has its place.  It allows me to dream and ponder the possibilities.

What does your reality look like?  What do you want it to look like?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Don’t Want to Hear It . . .

Denial.  We’ve all had a case of denial, I can guarantee there is something in your life that you haven’t wanted to see, hear or admit to.  I’ve certainly been there.

In my life there have been things that I couldn’t see or didn’t want to see.  Things that I didn’t want to hear.  We know when our life isn’t going the way we wanted or expected it to, but denial can also be a way of making it through the day.

When I was about to turn 30, I knew my life wasn’t as I wanted it to be.  The things that I dreamed of hadn’t happened yet.  The reality was that it wasn’t someone else’s fault.  It was mine.  I wanted to blame someone else, but there wasn’t anyone else responsible for my choices.  I wanted someone else to come and save me, but I didn’t even want to save myself.  I didn’t want that to be the truth.  I wanted the truth to be that the timing was off or people couldn’t see who I truly was.  The truth was that I didn’t allow them to see me.  I didn’t let people close enough to see through the mask that I was wearing.  There are reasons why, but my past was impacting my present and my future.  I had to be willing to see the truth.  That was step 1.  Step 2 was more complicated, I had to look at it, examine it, and see it for what it truly was.  A clue.  That clue would lead me to change, but I had to be willing to act and do something different.  Is it easy?  No!  But it is worth it when you can see how your life has shifted.

I’m still a work in progress.  That’s part of life.  The challenges don’t stop because we want them to, but we can learn to adjust and face them head on.  We can examine them and let them go.

 What are you denying in your life right now?  What have you denied in the past?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Am Addicted To. . .

Addictions can be many things, but I tend to see them as coping mechanisms.  Most of us can see people becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol, but you can become addicted to almost anything that numbs you from an experience.

Growing up I knew that a lot of adults in our family had battled an addiction with alcohol so I knew that I should stay clear.  Plus, I didn’t care for the feeling of being drunk.  I grew up in the 80’s when the “Just Say No” campaign was in full swing, so I didn’t try drugs.  My maternal grandfather was diagnosed with emphysema, so I had no desire to even smoke.  So, what is my addiction of choice, do you say?  I have a sugar addiction.  I use sugar to numb the pain of life.  I have used it to boost my energy levels or just get through the day.  The issue with this type of addiction is that sugar is in almost every food that we eat.  I have no desire at this stage in my life to make everything from scratch, I have to learn to work around it.  Some days are better than others.

Think about it.  I’m sure that you can tell me one thing that you’re addicted to.  It may be coffee.  And why do you drink coffee every day?  It gives you the energy you need to make it through the day.

When we aren’t carrying around our past baggage, our energy levels naturally increase, and we can make it through the day without our vice of choice.  The addition may even naturally disappear.  But, if the addiction re-presents itself, your energy levels have most likely dropped.  The drop in energy levels can mean that you’re avoiding something.  The only way to truly change your life is to experience the pain.  When sugar comes back into my life, I know that I’m avoiding something.  It doesn’t necessarily make it easier to tackle, but it’s time to start peeling away the layers and begin the feeling process.

What emotions don’t you want to experience?  Why don’t you want to confront them?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Are You Trying to Tell Me?

Is there something in your life that Spirit seems to use repeatedly to get your attention?  For me, Spirit seems to use my car.

The first time I had a psychic reading my grandfather used my car to get my attention and deliver me a message.  This week Spirit used my car again.  I have a 2011 Subaru Impreza.  I LOVE my car.  It was time to get my car inspected, but it also needed an oil change, there was a service recall and my rear brake light was out.  Most of what I needed done was covered by the dealership for free, but the rear brake light had me a little concerned.  It could be as simple as a bulb or it could be a more in-depth fix.  I asked Spirit to not have it cost more than I had made from helping at the Enlightenment Expo.  It ended up being a bulb, simple fix and inexpensive, but when I set up my manifestation, I forgot to ask Spirit to have my car pass inspection.

Several months ago, I was driving back from a friend’s house and was stopped at an intersection.  The car in front of me turned right.  I looked left and right and left again.  I stepped on the gas to turn right and bam.  The car that I thought had turned right had turned and stopped.  It had been sitting right in my blind spot.  It got out and it didn’t look like any damage had been done to his car and mine appeared to be minimal.  The next day I looked, my front bumper had cracked, but it still didn’t look bad.  What I hadn’t realized until my car was being inspected was that my passenger side headlight assembly had broken and the bottom of it was missing.  Plus, my cracked bumper wasn’t passable.  Both needed to be fixed for my car to pass inspection and I needed to get the repairs done soon.  My brakes were currently passable, but if I waited too much longer, the brake pads would need to be replaced too.  The total cost for repairs would be more than $1,000.  What do I do? My manifestation was limited because I focused on what I thought was wrong.  It was going to cost me a lot more than I had made.  I know nothing about cars.  The service advisor said to call them back and let them know how I wished to proceed.  They would need to order the parts.

While I was at the dealership, I was reading Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo.  One of her recommendations was to say that when making a decision repeat “Everything Is Figureoutable”.  I repeated that mantra as I drove back.  I decided to speak with my parents.  My paternal grandfather was an auto mechanic and my dad had worked with him for a little bit.  My dad searched the internet and found I could a new headlight assembly for $131 as opposed to the $328 it was going to cost me at the dealership, plus he could install it, which would have cost another $128.  He started watching YouTube videos on hot to repair a cracked bumper.  I purchased the new headlight assembly and it was delivered the next day.

I only drove my car to and from my part-time job and set aside 2 days in my schedule so that he could do the repairs.  I set the intention that it would only take a day. 

On my way home from work that Saturday I picked up some rear turn lights, but I also needed one for the front.  They couldn’t find anything for me to purchase, but they had some out of the package that I could have for free.  Score!

On Sunday my parents worked on my car.  They installed the new headlight assembly and took off the bumper.  They repaired my bumper and replaced my turn signals.  My early afternoon my car was done.  Monday morning, I went back to the dealership to see if I could get my car inspected again.

So, what did I learn?  One.  I asked for help.  I had people who wanted to help me, but I need to ask for it.  Two.  I got another opinion.  I knew this wasn’t an area that I had any experience in.  I needed to brainstorm ideas with someone else and get a different perspective on my problem.  There was another solution I needed help to find out though.  Three.  I had to trust that everything was going to work out.  The fear kept trying to creep in that my brakes were going to fail.  I had to keep resetting myself and know that everything was going to turn out ok.  Four.  I needed spiritual help.  I didn’t have an appointment at the garage, and if I tried to make one it would be two weeks before I could get back in.  I sent spiritual runners ahead to make sure everything would work out.  I needed the person that had completed the inspection to be working to complete it.  I wanted my brakes to be ok and to not need anymore work then what had been laid out.

The end of the story is that my car passed inspection a week later than expected.  The technician was there.  I followed my intuitive guidance and got it done.  It cost me less than $150 to get my car fixed as opposed to more than $1,000.  My car doesn’t look perfect.  I have red primer on the passenger side of my bumper, but it is drivable and passed inspection.  My car is 9 years old.  I don’t love it any less than I did a week ago.  It isn’t perfect, but it does get me where I need to go.  What more can you ask for?

How can you look at a challenge from a different perspective?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Lovability

Before you can become empowered in your life, the first step is to learn to love yourself.  Be truthful with yourself.  Do you love who you are?  If you don’t then you know where to start.

Learning to love myself was my first step and the hardest.  I had been programmed from an early age that I wasn’t good enough.  When I entered school at 5, I learned that I wasn’t “right”.  For the first couple of years in school, I saw an occupational therapist.  While she was nice, most of the other kids in my class didn’t have to see her.  I saw her to help with my lack of coordination and sensitivity to touch.  Part of my homework was to get brushed down with a special brush.  While the program helped with these issues it created programming.  I wanted to be “normal” like all the other kids in my class.  I learned to be someone else.  This caricature of me morphed over the years, but it was a facade.  Most people didn’t know me, and I reached a point where I didn’t know myself.  It is quite challenging to love yourself when you have no clue who you are. 

At 30 years old I realized that I wasn’t close to any of my life goals.  I wasn’t married.  I didn’t have children.  I didn’t have a boyfriend.  My job was ok, but it didn’t light me up inside.  I went to work every day, but it didn’t really make me happy.

One of my co-workers convinced me to join a dating site.  She had a blast looking through all the potential partners out there and checking in to see how it was going, but for me it didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  What was the issue?  I still didn’t know who I was.

I finally decided to take a step back.  I started stepping into the spiritual world after my nephew was born in 2011.  I read a book called Loveability by Robert Holden in 2014 and started putting the pieces together.  I needed to discover who I was.  I read lots of books.  Dabbled with astrology, numerology and other methodologies that might help me to answer the question, who am I?  It took me a while and just when things seemed to be coming together, I got triggered by my need to fit in.  I started feeling out of place at my job and that I had to be someone else.  I wasn’t allowed to share my spiritual perspective, so I shut down that area of my life at work.  But when you spend 37.5 hours per week shutting down an aspect of yourself it can make it a challenge to be the best version of yourself.  I was tired.  I found it harder and harder to do my job.  I felt like I was constantly being criticized.  All of this was coming to a breaking point that ended when I was terminated from my job.

I finally had an opportunity to be myself.  I was led to an empowerment coaching program and jumped in.  I received coaching myself as part of the program.  I was finally starting to get back to being me.  I already had a community of people who knew the real me, but I had never really been me at work.  In August I started a part-time job and had the chance to be me.  I was accepted by each person.  They seem intrigued by what I can do and who I am.  They share some interest in the metaphysical world, but the most important lesson is that I can be me and be accepted at a place of employment.

I’m still getting my business going, but I’m happier now even being triggered by my limiting beliefs every day then I was when I didn’t know who I was or was trying to be someone else.

Now for my personal life.  I’m getting closer every day, but before I could love someone else in an equal partnership, I had to learn to love me.  I’m a work in progress just like you and every other person, but I’m getting there.  But I’m at a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and say I love you without cringing.  I will take that progress and move forward.

Do you love who you are?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Shadows and Dreams


Happy Independence Day weekend here in the United States!  It seems like there has been a lot going on in the physical world and the energetic world.  Plus, here in Maine it finally started to feel like summer.

We are amid the eclipse portal.  The second eclipse is on July 16.  Everything is energetically heightened right now.  I don’t know about you, but all my shadow triggers are rising to the surface.  I have had to spend time energetically cutting cords to my past and releasing my fears.

We are halfway though the year.  It is time for a midpoint review.  It is an opportunity to look at things with a new perspective.  Where are you in relation to you dreams?  As I have previously mentioned, my year began with a bang.  The structure that I have spent the last 15 years building detonated around me.  It came crashing to the ground with a giant thud.  I lost my job and spent several days thinking about my next chapter.  What did I want to be in my new beginning?  I had a clean slate.  I could do anything I wanted.  I spent some time looking at new careers, but nothing sparked my interest, like a Facebook Live featuring Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette.  I had also been taking classes to raise my consciousness with Marisa Moris over the last year.  I soon decided there was never going to be a better time to chase a new dream.  I got my Reiki Master training with Elemental Energies with Chris Ann & Jeff and laid the groundwork.  I set up a new business.  I built my website and on April 30, I officially launched my business.  It hasn’t been easy, and I am clearing triggers constantly, but when I’m doing sessions with people it doesn’t feel like work.  I am on my path,

What has been coming to the surface for you?  What are your dreams?  Are you living them?  Let me help you to create your dream life.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.  How can I help you to claim your dreams?

Ooh! Look what’s on TV!

Do you ever get distracted?  We all do.  It is human nature.  You may have the best of intentions when you start, then something intervenes, and you never get back to it.  It is easier to camp out in front of the tv eating popcorn than it is to change something about your life.

I spent years avoiding change and I do mean years.  As a teenager I lost my ability to trust other people after being harassed and betrayed by a friend.  I didn’t want to put myself back out there and get hurt again so I hid.  My preferred method of hiding was vicarious living watching soap operas.  Both teen soap operas and adult ones.  I recorded Days of our Lives and General Hospital for years before the tapes fell to the floor one day to show me, I needed to move on.  Marlena was possessed by the devil.  Ooh!  That’s better than focusing on what’s wrong with my life.  I didn’t want to face what was going wrong in my life.  That I couldn’t trust people is hard for a 13-year-old to go through.  So, what did I do?  Nothing.  I figured that it would all work itself out.  You know what though, it didn’t.  I turned 30 and I still had the same trust issues as I did when I was 13. My preferred distraction methods of hiding and watching TV had longevity.

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that can be used to protect, but it can only take you so far.  Denials and distractions don’t help to change your life.  They keep you stuck.  When I turned 30, I realized that no one was coming to save me.  I had to learn to save myself, but it took me a long time to find out how.  I tried taking courses or reading books, then I would get overwhelmed, so I would hide and distract myself by watching tv.  It is easier to stay in that place of denial than it is to make changes.

What do you want to do differently?  Is it time to make a change, but you are afraid?  Or do you know that you can’t do it alone?  I am here to help.  Let me know how I can help you.