Becoming You

What if you aren’t who you thought you were?  Unfortunately, traumatic events can make us not want to be hurt again, so we start to hold a part of ourselves back.  We don’t show who we are and allow our authentic self to shine through.

Having spent a good portion of the last 9 years or so working through trauma has now led me to the point of I thought I knew who I was but there’s more.  I was looking at pictures and I found one from about the age of 4 that has always spoken to me.  What is it about that one picture?  I’m starting to think it’s my authentic self speaking to me.  Helping me.  Guiding me back to the person I’m meant to be.

Nothing that I’ve done has been for not.  It has led me to this point.  I could say the same thing to you.  Everything that you’ve done has led you to this point.  The question is what do you do next?  Do you continue to play it safe or step up?  How do you move forward?

Becoming who you were meant to be is challenging.  We can doubt ourselves and not know which way to go.  So what do we do?  There are variations for each of us.  I tend to take the big picture and break it down into small pieces.  You may jump right in.  Neither one is right nor wrong.  It’s all about who we are.

All these energies are forcing us to review our story.  Who have we been and who do we want to become?  Who are we?  What do we value?  Does our day-to-day life demonstrate what we value?  Maybe you’re reviewing this list of questions and decide that you’re good.  That’s great!  You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself to reach that place, but what if you’re not?  Becoming the person you’re meant to be can present it’s own challenges, but when you finally know who you are, there’s nothing better.

Who do you want to be? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Time for Adjustments?

We’re on a journey in life.  No matter how much we want things to stay the same, they don’t.  There are some things we want so badly in life, we can taste it, but it doesn’t happen the way we think it will or think it should. The people we think will stay a part of our lives forever leave, for any number of reasons.  We want to know when things will change for the better, but maybe we aren’t meant to know.

We want to know the answers to life's biggest questions and we just don’t know.  If 2020 has shown us anything so far, it is to expect the unexpected. But it also reveals where we still need to work on our lives.

Right now, nothing is what we think it should be.  We are in a huge period change personally and globally.  We’re about to see a new snapshot of what 2020 has in store for us.  More of the picture is being revealed.  We have the second eclipse plus the solstice.  Also, we have 5 planets in retrograde (Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto) with another one about to go retrograde (Neptune).  That’s a lot of retrograde energy.  During retrogrades we’re meant to review, revise and reexamine our lives.  What’s our vision?  Does our life meet our vision?  Where are we off course?  What can we do to adjust? It’s time for adjustments.

I’ve been playing around with astrology for several years now and during quarantine I’ve been working on learning to read charts.  It’s a process!  But it’s a path that I’m meant to follow. I’ve always been fascinated by horoscopes and how we can take natal charts to learn something about ourselves.  Learning about my natal chart has helped me to accept parts of myself that I thought were wrong, or others thought were different than they should be.

This retrograde is another period for me to examine my life.  Where did I steer off course?  I can think of a few things.  I’m sure you can as well.  How do I adjust?  With my study of astrology, it’s time to take a new examination and pick up where I last left off while I completed my coaching certification.  Continue what I had started and put aside.  I can think of other things, but those are stories for a future time. 

Use the power of the energies we’re in right now and make adjustments to fit your vision.

What adjustments do you need to make?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself.  You didn’t know.  This can apply to so many areas of your life.  From trusting someone that you shouldn’t, to not knowing something about yourself.  The truth is . . . you didn’t know.

Part of life is the journey of discovery.  We’re sent here to learn new things.  If we entered this world already knowing everything, it would get boring quickly.  Although a little bit of boredom might be nice sometimes.  Just saying.

We learn new things every single day.  It’s part of our path.  Right now, so many of us are learning a lot and for some of us our entire lives have been tipped upside down.  It’s ok.  You didn’t know.  But here’s the thing about not knowing, it’s ok until you do.  Once you know and you choose to do nothing, that’s now a choice.

I’ve been struggling over the past week with how I proceed with my discoveries about white privilege and finding a way forward. To take action and to help myself and others forgive themselves for not knowing. I would normally have joined a protest but due to the pandemic, it doesn’t feel like that’s the correct choice for me.  If it’s the right choice for you, I applaud you, but remember to try and stay safe.  This isn’t over.  We haven’t learned what we need to yet.

I saw a post on Facebook that our local church was asking people to join around the church for 8 minutes and 46 seconds while the bell rang.  I’m sure most of you are aware at this point of the significance of that amount of time, but just to be sure, it’s the amount of time associated with the death of George Floyd.  I really wanted to join in, but I had to find another way.  I remembered that I could hear the bells from my house.  So as the bells started to ring, I took a knee out on the lawn.  What do I do next?  I’m not sure yet, but I can’t turn back and be blind.  I’m sure more will be revealed to me and you before our time is done, but we have to forgive ourselves for what we didn’t know and find a new way forward.  I’m working on forgiving myself.  It’s up to you to determine how to forgive yourself.

What do you need to forgive yourself for?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What’s Your Gut Telling You?

There’s so much information swirling around us every day.  Somedays do you even want to hear it?  Maybe it’s best if you don’t.  There are emails, social media posts, and news reports that not only present the facts, but how you should feel or react.  But, are they right?  Two different sides have their opinions about how to approach the issue and both have their own interpretation.  Is that interpretation, right?  Only you know what’s best for you!

With every piece of information that’s released, you have to act based on your own authority.  You can be confused.  It’s ok.  Take a breath.  What feels heavy to you?  Does it feel wrong to you?  Act from the information that feels right.  You must do what you need to feel safe and secure.  This goes back to the issue of choice. During this time of COVID-19, you have a choice, but so does the owner of the business that you visit.  Respect that others have a choice.  You may feel that your rights are being taken away from you (I’m not referring to people who are disabled in this statement).  You have the right to go somewhere else.  Your rights don’t mean that you can do whatever you want.  Our Constitution in the United States doesn’t mean that you can murder someone else or steal from someone else.  This isn’t any different.  You have the right to act from your instincts, but your rights don’t override someone else’s.

Having been trained in Reiki and energy work, you can’t act without someone’s permission.  You need approval to enter their field or coach someone.  For most practitioners that’s the first question you’re asked.  You have the right to say no and the discussion ends there.  I can want to help you, but my desire to help you doesn’t override your right to not want my help.  Nothing is different here.

You have the right to decide what’s right for you and wrong for you, but you don’t have the right for any other adult.  You might not like the decision, but that’s their call.  My question for you would be why does it bother you so much?

What’s your inner authority telling you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Is This Your Best?

Are you doing the best you can right now?  If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about.  Growing up were you one of the kids whose parents accepted their grades if you did the best you could or the one whose parents expected perfection?

Perfection is a challenging trait to overcome.  It could have been ingrained in us by our parents or something we learned.   Either way striving to be perfect can prevent us from thriving in challenging circumstances.  Perfection can never be obtained.  Human beings aren’t perfect.  We’re flawed.  We have problems.  It’s our problems that teach us on this journey called life.

You could wake up in the morning and your plans could be completely blown apart by 9 am.  I’ve been there.  I bet you have too.  Things don’t always work out as we have planned.  Life can get in the way.  But, it’s ok.  Give yourself permission to say it’s ok.  If you did your best, then it’s ok.

For most of my life, I strove for perfection.  What did it get me?  I was never truly happy with myself.  I wanted to be better.  I would question everything that happened.  While I still do these things, my motive has shifted.  I want them to learn more.  I want to see myself grow.  I no longer want to use it as a mask for what others see.  However, I also know this is a process and I can’t change comfortably overnight.  The first thing I had to learn was that I was doing the best I could and to learn to be ok with that way of thinking.  It took me time.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing the best I can.

As a result, my self-confidence has gone up.  I feel better myself. I’ve tried things I never thought I would.  I’ve learned to care less about what others think of me.  I’ve given myself permission to do the best I can.  That’s the best thing somedays that any of us can do.

Are you doing the best you can?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Have A Little Patience

How are you doing right now?  It’s ok if you’re having trouble adjusting.  We all are.  For most of us we go, go, go from waking to bedtime.  For most of us, we can’t do that anymore.  We may still have our jobs but are having to fit in schooling our children.  We may have lost our jobs and having trouble getting dressed.  You’re where you are right now and that’s ok.  Even when you can get dressed, you might have trouble doing something besides watching tv.  That’s ok too.  Be patient with yourself.

Things that we looked forward to are being canceled.  Even things that might have helped us to feel better like getting our hair or nails done aren’t an option.  It’s ok to be frustrated, depressed or angry.  It’s ok to be sad.  It’s ok to cry.  For us to start to feel better, you must release what you’re feeling, and it doesn’t happen overnight.  Honor where you are in the process.  If you feel like checking something off on your to-do list, then do it.  If you don’t, allow yourself permission to take a break.

We are being asked to heal.  The healing process for each person is different.  Each one of us is unique and so is our process.

Have patience with yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  I typically have a to-do list a mile long and over the last couple of weeks I haven’t done as much as I would have liked, but I like you, am having to figure out what my life is right now.  I miss my friends.  I miss my routine.  Things just aren’t the same.  I have watched videos on Facebook and movies and cried.  That’s not all that unusual for me, but it has helped.  I’m honoring where I am in the process.  I will get to the action phase soon, but for now, I’m adjusting and grieving for what was and determining what could be.

How have you been patient with yourself?  Or how do you need to be more patient with yourself? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time for a Little Faith

One of my favorite quotes has always been “faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”  A Miracle on 34th Street.  Sometimes we just have a feeling that everything is going to be ok.

We are living at a time when people around us are afraid.  You might even be one of them.  You may have lost your job or are about to lose it.  You might not be able to pay your bills.  You may know someone who is sick, or you may be.  You might just be frustrated that you can’t get everything done in a day.  First off, take a deep breath.  Everything happens for a reason.

For a long time, I had trouble with that statement, and I know I’m not alone.  Why does a young child get sick and die?  Why did this happen to me?  I wish I could answer all the why’s, but it isn’t always possible.  What I can tell you is that there is a lesson hidden in there and until you can find it, you must have a little faith.  Some of my biggest life lessons took me years to discover.  Some only took a few hours.

There is no right answer.  Every person lives life differently and you’re allowed to, but are you growing as a result or are you staying stuck?  If you’re stuck, it’s time to change that feeling and have a little faith that when we come out of quarantine that your life can be better.   Let’s be honest, life can’t be what it was before.  That may be hard to hear, but it’s true.  We can never be the people we were yesterday.  We have learned something or uncovered something which has moved us forward.  At the very least we are a day older.

On Tuesday I broke quarantine to go grocery shopping.  I started my day with a plan.  As soon as I put my key in the ignition my plan was gone.  I’ve spoken about my car battery before, well it decided it was done.  Why had it chosen that moment?  I looked to see who was open.  The least expensive option that I could see at the time was temporarily closed.  The only other place I could think of was the car dealership.  I called and they said they could replace the battery and it might still be covered under warranty.  I asked if he could look up when I purchased the battery.  I thought I had purchased it in 2016, but I had purchased it in October 2017.  It was still covered by the 30-month warranty.  I got a new battery for free!  I haven’t always had faith, but I had enough to get me there.  I had 1 month left on my warranty and if my battery hadn’t died, I will admit I would have tried to keep it going because I don’t have extra cash lying around.  But I also could have missed out on a free battery.  I was fortunate, but I was also going to another place and interacting with more people than I had planned.  As the day progressed, I started to think about how different things are from just a few weeks ago.  But I had to have faith that all would be ok.  I took all the precautions that I could and the rest I had to believe would work out.

We aren’t in quarantine just to keep us safe, but those around us safe.  To know that what we can contribute is enough and have faith that it is working.  Faith can help us in many things from getting a new car battery to walking through the grocery store to just working through our fear.  We just need to believe that everything will work out how it’s supposed to.  It’s time for a little faith.

What do you need faith to help you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Am I Going to Do?

It’s time to pause the posts of the Map of Consciousness for at least a week and focus on something that most everyone is feeling right now, anxiety and fear.

People like to be in control of their own lives.  They like to have an idea of what is going to happen from day to day.  They like certainty.

As we live in times of a pandemic, there is very little certainty or control.  New information is being reported throughout the day.  How are we supposed to keep calm?

While I believe that we make choices in our life, I also think that some things are fated.  I believe this may be one of those times.  For a long time, our culture has been all about me and what do I want.  You could see it in the grocery stores last week with people fighting for the last pack of toilet paper.  We aren’t meant to live our lives focused on only ourselves.  We are meant to be concerned for our neighbors and have compassion for our fellow citizens.  We are all hurting.

We are meant to shift right now.  Shifting isn’t comfortable.  Some of the anxiety you’re experiencing could be due to this.  Maybe you’re an empath and can feel other’s emotions.  Just going to the grocery store was an exercise in not picking up other’s emotions.  Or maybe you’re just trying to make it through the day with some sense of normalcy.

This is a time for us to come together, but your emotions will follow you wherever you go.  You can’t run.  You can’t hide.  It’s ok to be afraid or anxious, but you need to move through these emotions.  You don’t want them to become a part of you.  Negative emotions are said to weaken the body which can make you more likely to get sick.

So, what do you do?  You need to find what works for you.  It could be meditation, reading a book, going outside, or having a dance party.

My ability to quiet the mind started when I practiced regular Reiki sessions.  First by having other people conduct them for me and now practicing them on myself and others.  I also regularly turn off the TV.  I get the news that I need and then give myself time to process it.  In the evenings, I’ve been reading books.  I’ve been rereading books that I’ve loved over the years such as Harry Potter, Jane Austen and Twilight.  Books that can take me to another world and allow my imagination to soar.

What are you doing to help with your anxiety? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Happily Ever After

Growing up I loved watching Disney movies.  To be honest, I still do.  Today we have role models that are powerful like Elsa and Moana.  They act from an empowered place.  They are who they are, and others need to learn to accept them for who they are.  My favorites in my youth were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.  They don’t seem all that empowered now, they look like two role models who needed to be saved.

In 1981 Colette Dowling published a book The Cinderella Complex.  It’s a theory that women are afraid of independence and have an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others.  While I would love to say that I haven’t fallen into this trap, I probably have.  But, 2019 was the year that I started working on reversing this story.  I wanted someone to come and save me.  Whether it was from financial issues, having to work, or just being alone and wanting someone to be in a relationship with.  I wanted someone else to come and save me from life’s problems.  Like a fairy tale, I dreamed that by having someone “save me” all my problems would disappear.

There was just one problem, nobody else could save me.  I had to learn to save myself.  I had to take control and be empowered in my own life.  The idea that I had been waiting to be saved was a difficult one to swallow.  Why would I do that?  I don’t really have an explanation.  There are many theories that our experiences up to the ages of 7 to 8 shape who we become as adults.  Could that include something as simple as watching a movie repeatedly?  Maybe.  There is also the conditioning of women by society that could be a part of it.  Growing up women have been taught that our main responsibility is to be a wife and a mother.  Until the 1970’s, women only had a few career options, including being a secretary or teacher.  Once you were married, your occupation became that of a housewife.  Women didn’t even obtain the right to vote until 1920.

I was born at the end of 1980, so lots of changes were still underway regarding the role of women in the workplace and the home.  It is still shifting today.  In order to become the person that I am meant to be, I have had to examine my programing and work to save myself.  Only I can do that.  I can have someone else as a partner in my journey and discuss a path forward, but the ultimate decision is mine, as it is yours.  Only you can change your life. 

For me, 2019 has meant stepping into the person that I’m meant to be.  I’m still a work in progress, as are you, and we all are until the day we breathe our last breath.

In fairy tales, movies, and books, there is an end.  Many of them ending with a happily ever after.  We spend our lives seeking our own version of happily ever after, but what if we have it wrong?  What if our version of happily ever after is meant to be about ourselves?  We can never be truly happy in our lives if we don’t love who we are.  Another person can’t make you love yourself.  It’s an inside job.

So, as we close out not only another year, but another decade, what is your goal for 2020?  Who do you want to become?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Just Ask

There are times when you just have to ask for what you want and trust that you will receive a response.

This is a good test for this holiday season.  We are in the home stretch.  Christmas is on Wednesday and the New Year the next week.  But this is the time of year when people have expectations or miscommunications can arise.  You may expect someone to take care of the last-minute Christmas shopping or pick something up at the grocery store and they don’t.

My case is a little different.  I have been working a part-time job while I build my business.  The hair salon that I work at is closed a couple of the shifts that I typically work this Christmas week.  Just because they are closed doesn’t mean that my bills change.  So, one of my co-workers had an emergency arise this past week and I had the opportunity for two additional shifts.  In total the extra shifts amount to the same number of hours, plus a couple, that I lose the week of Christmas.  I said I needed help, but I had to trust that it would happen, and it did.

Trusting that our needs will be taken care of isn’t always easy.  I want things to happen in a specific way.  I want to do it myself, but that isn’t always possible.  It isn’t entirely up to me.  There are forces out there greater than me, but I had to ask.  Just thinking it wasn’t enough in this case.  I had to ask for help out loud.  It wasn’t directed to anyone.  It was like a prayer.

Asking for help isn’t easy.  It’s a lesson that I have had to practice a lot recently.  It’s not a lesson that I’m particularly fond of or comfortable with, but it’s an important one. 

As we head into Christmas and the new year, we can speak our truth and state what we need.  Practice this skill.  It doesn’t come easily.  Nothing that is worth having ever does, but it’s worth it in the end. 

What truth do you need to speak?  Where do you need help in life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do? Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.