Why Do You Want to Change?

I have been grappling with the concepts of change.  What is your perspective on change?  What makes you truly want to change?

There is always a different viewpoint, a new perspective of the status quo, but what is it that motivates you to act?  For myself, I make a change because I feel like I have no other options.  One example was in starting my business.  I wanted to have the new endeavor all figured out and know precisely what it was that I was going to do before I took a leap.  My problem was I might not have allowed enough time for my scenario to truly evolve.  Making any change can be difficult, especially one that impacts your entire life, but I knew there were other plans for me.  I knew it and I fought it, even though everything in my life was telling me to take a different path and I had a choice to make.  I could continue to fight the changes as I had been doing for so long finding one excuse after another, or change.  I didn’t have a concrete plan for where I wanted to go or what I wanted my business to look like; I didn’t have a name;  I didn’t know how to combine my skill set and interests into a business.    On reflection I found I was being shown an alternative path.  My epiphany started right before Christmas last year when I received the messages from my spiritual guides that I could become a coach, which would fit all my interests and in many ways it seemed like a natural fit.  I decided to investigate a certification program, but my fears and ego got in the way.  Suddenly change was necessary when I lost my job.  While I searched for the answers to why and what, I could have gone out and looked for another job, but deep down I knew that I would end up right back in the same place that I already was.   Is it scary?  Absolutely!  But, does the path I’m on feel right, yes.

Most changes I have made were because I felt like I had no other options.  I would switch to another job only when I had exhausted all possibilities in that situation.  I would take a chance because I couldn’t take where I was anymore.  Is that the best way to make a change?  Probably not, but I’m not alone in job change or loss being a motivating factor.  I was afraid to look at a different perspective.  My stand point hadn’t shifted.  I talked with other people that owned their own businesses.  Could that be me?  Could I truly do it?  How would I be financially secure while I was making this life altering shift?  I didn’t have all the answers and I still don’t, but I can always seek a new perspective by changing my standpoint.  I can ask people for their opinion or guidance; I can follow a path that I’m being spiritually guided in; I can look at something differently.

So, I repeat.  What makes you want to change?  Do you feel like you have no options left?  Do you get an intuitive nudge and move?  Review your past, what has made you take the leap?  Think about what you to change then truly change something that doesn’t work for you anymore.  Sometimes if you want a different ending you need a new perspective and a leap of faith.

I’m interested in your motivating factor.  Let me know what it is.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Fear of Change

Transitions are hard.  You know it and I know it.  We know life shouldn’t be this way, but it has been like this for so long we don’t know any other way.  Having the courage to make a change, can be a challenging first step to make, even when we know it is the right one.

I have spent most of my life living in fear.  Fear was an emotion that had a certain amount of comfort to it.  I had my first seizure before the age of 1.  We learned as I was growing up that they acted as a circuit breaker.  When I had a rapid temperature change, I would have a seizure.  Many people that I have spent time around have never seen a seizure.  My grandmother once handed me back to my mom when I started to have one.  For a small child, it seemed that people were fearful of me.

As I grew up, I felt a responsibility to show people that a person can live with seizures.  Wherever I worked, people knew about my disorder, but I also wanted to keep that part of my life separate.  I never wanted them to see me have a seizure and I didn’t want them to be afraid of that part of me.  Members of my immediate family had seen me have them and still loved me for me, but could other people?

One Friday morning I forgot to take my pills.  I remember making it into the office and most of the rest of the day is gone.  I have only a few memories and those that I do have are spotty.

I went back to work that Monday.  Whether my co-workers felt this or not, I’m not entirely sure, but it felt like they were afraid of me.  I tried to be the person that I was before, but they had seen a part of me they couldn’t unsee.  At that moment my work life started to unravel.

The fear of that moment led to other decisions.  Fear had taken hold a part of my life, the part that I felt I had under control.  I knew that things were different for so many reasons.  But I couldn’t figure a way out.  It took another 18 months for things to end and for a new opportunity to begin.

Deep down I knew that I didn’t belong there anymore.  So many signs presented themselves to me, but I couldn’t pull the trigger and take the necessary steps.  I reverted to my coping mechanism of choice.  I withdrew.  I kept to myself and put one foot in front of the other, but my heart wasn’t there, and those around me knew it.

For many of us we need help making this change.  In my case, I needed to be let go from my job.  Then another fear of what am I going to do now sets in?  I was fortunate.  I was able to put the pieces together relatively quickly.  I learned from my coaching calls that there is only way to get over fear and that is to move through it.   I have taken more chances in the last 11 months, then I did in the preceding 37 years.

This doesn’t mean that fear isn’t present in my life, but I have learned there is more to life than fear.  It can be used to guide us on to new and better things.  Sometimes we need to see our own lives from a different perspective.  My life now is all about helping people to see their lives with fresh eyes.  We can’t change our past, but we change the story we tell ourselves.  Every day is a new opportunity.  You may need to make a conscious choice to take that first step, but it gets easier over time.

What story in your life do you want to shift?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Moving On


Moving on to another phase of life can be challenging.  It may mean giving up a long help dream or a hope for things to come.  There is also a transition period between the old life and the new life that can seem uncomfortable.  There is concern about things not working out the way you want them to, but you know what?  Sometimes you must take the leap.

I have dreams that I still feel like I should fight for, and others I know I need to move on from.  My business feels like one that I’m still fighting for.  I’m starting to see small shifts happen, and I celebrate each victory.  My personal life has more of a gray area coloring it.  There are times that I feel I should be ready to step into a new chapter and others where I slide back into the past.  There are still wounds I need to move on from and release.  Each day I let go of another piece.  2019 has been a huge transitional year.  I had to move from a career path that had defined me from more than 10 years.  I had to step into who I am called to be.  I had to rethink my dreams and release what no longer serves me.

But all the letting go and moving on have brought new adventures.  I am doing something for a living that I enjoy and doesn’t feel like work.  I am at a part-time job where I can be myself and be appreciated.  We recently had a staff meeting and I had the opportunity to hear what my co-workers (and now friends) thought of me.  I was blown away by the comments.  As a society we gravitate more towards the negative side of life instead of the positive.  Sometimes it is easier to hear the negative.  We rarely have the chance to hear what people love about us.  We typically express what drives us crazy about someone that we know.

I had to release my story this year as to why would people like me for me.  If I hadn’t been working on releasing that story and moving to a new way of thinking, I couldn’t have been in the space to hear that I am appreciated for being me.  It wasn’t easy to get to this spot.  It has involved a lot of work and tears, but I am moving into the next phase of my life with anticipation.

I could have wallowed and thrown myself a long-term pity party after being let go from my job in January, but there were other plans for me, and I knew it.  I was living small.  I put everyone else’s needs before my own.  I was trying to be who everyone else needed instead of who I truly was.  The “real” Sarah would emerge on occasion, but most of the time she was in hiding.  She wasn’t allowed to come out, it wasn’t safe.

That story had to go before I could step into my new life.  The path is still coming into focus for me.  We all have something glorious waiting for us, but we need to move on from the old and release it.  What story do you need to release?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Celebrate Life

We have a lot to learn in this world but specifically about death.  We have a hard time letting people go.  And then there is the mourning and grief process.  For some people they’re able to move forward, and for others they dwell in their grief for years.

My first exposure to death was when I was 17.  People in my family had died over the years, but I didn’t really know them.  This was the first time I knew the person.  I was close with my Papa Paul.  I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him, but at the end of his life he wasn’t truly able to live.  He could no longer read and had trouble taking tape off a present.  We had his funeral during the Ice Storm of 1998.  There was no electricity at our house or the funeral home.  The minister needed a flashlight to read his notes.  My first experience with the grieving process was unique, but I have come to realize that the process of funerals and memorial services are as the unique as the person themselves.  I watched my grandmother during the funeral.  She had lost her husband of 57 years and the word that has always come to mind is stoic.  I never saw her cry.  She soldiered on.  I learned that you soldier on.

My most recent experience with death happened only a few weeks ago.  My Aunt Louise was 96 years old and had been in and out of the hospital.  Her family asked for prayers.  I prayed that if it was in her highest and best good for her to stay that she stay, if it wasn’t for her to have a peaceful transition to the other side.  She was with us only a few more days.  She was like another grandmother to me growing up.  She had always been there.  She was there to guide us and support us as she had so many others.  But it was her time to go.  I posted a message on Facebook in tribute to her.  I received a multitude of condolence messages.  I knew that she was in a better place.  Aunt Louise was a person that deserved to be recognized in death with praise that she didn’t need in life.  As we have done many times over the years, we gathered.  When most of your relatives pass in their 80s and 90s, you learn to celebrate their lives.  We told stories and laughed.  There were some tears, but she wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad.  She had accomplished everything that she had set out to do.  She was welcomed to the other side by a pack of dogs and the family members that had passed before her.  Her journey was complete.

Death is an opportunity to pause and reflect.  What do you admire?  Where are you off your life path?  I cannot speak to the death of a spouse or child because that isn’t something that I have experienced.  Longevity runs in my family.  I am one of the fortunate ones.  I have had the privilege of getting to know all four of my grandparents and their siblings.  I got to know who they were and while I miss their physical existence, I know they are around me.  I still have my own journey to pursue.

Death is one of the few certainties of life.  We have an opportunity to view things differently.  We can still communicate with our loved ones, but we may need a translator.  They communicate with us in our everyday lives.  During my aunt’s reception, the lights flickered.  Her and our extended family was with us in spirit.  They are still part of our journey but are no longer part of our physical world.

How do you view death?  Do you celebrate their legacy?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Time For Happiness Is Now

Are you happy?  For most people the answer is no.  You may he happy in an area of your life, but overall the answer is no.  The decisions that you’ve made in your life have led you to this point.  The decisions can be due to believing it’s the right decision or being afraid to make a different one.

Fear of the unknown is a reason that people remain stuck in their lives.  The known even if it causes discomfort is better than the path not yet taken.  But the planetary energies are pushing us on to this new path.  What might have felt right at one time has lost its appeal, or is becoming more difficult to maintain.  Spirit will keep triggering us until we make the change.

Most of my life I didn’t like change.  Dread might be a better word.  For me, change seemed to involve the people I loved dying and dreams not turning out as I expected.  Even when I stepped on the spiritual path taking the leap on to the unknown was difficult.  Even having multiple psychics tell me I could do this took a while to comprehend.  I had already started down a path that I desperately wanted to work.  I would work harder and keep trying.  It had to work.  The problem was while that concept worked for some people, it didn’t for me.  The reason it wasn’t my path.  It was a lesson that I needed to learn as I walked my path.  Taking the leap on to my path was terrifying and challenging, but with a bit of excitement.  I needed a push on to it or maybe a shove.  Without it, I might still be working on the lesson.  We all have our reasons for staying put, but we are sent to this world for a reason.  We can make a difference if we have the courage to be our authentic selves and not who we think we should be.

So how did I overcome the fear to change?  I started to work through it.  I worked on the beliefs that I had learned over the years.  I cast away the story that I told myself about why I was unhappy and started to write a new one.  The fear to change is still there, but it has been muted.  It reactivates the next time I make an uncomfortable change, but it has lessened. 

As of this moment, I’m not where I believe I’m meant to be.  But I’m happier now working multiple jobs, putting the pieces together, and trying to figure out what my gifts are, and how to incorporate those into my new business, than I was playing it safe and following the path I thought I was meant to follow.

When it comes down to it we have so little time on this planet called Earth.  We have hopes and dreams, but are afraid to start following them until we feel safe and secure.  Then and only do we feel it’s possible to do what we love.  What if I told you there is another way?  It may mean having multiple jobs, like me, but the time to act is now.  Only by walking through the fear can you begin to feel happy in your life.  Act.  It may be something small or jumping off the cliff, but either one will start the process of catapulting you into a new life.  Take the leap.  Do you need help?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Let Go of the Past and Step into a New Life

When you first start out on the spiritual path, you are taught that if you are grateful and positive you will start a new life.  While part of that is true, there is one problem.  You are a human being.  That human being has memories and emotions stored within the body.  In order to be truly grateful and to manifest a life that is for highest and best good, you must go backwards.

You have a story.  It is a story that is repeated.  It can be a story that you tell yourself, or one that you see appear in front of you.  But that story is what is holding you back.  To get where we want in life, we must first confront our story.

For years I did the positivity thing and would state affirmations.  While they changed my outlook on life, they didn’t change the outcome of my life.  I still wore a mask.  I wasn’t myself.  I had the story on repeat in my head.  I would look at other people and compare how my life was and the perception that I had of them.  I didn’t measure up and there was a why even try type of attitude.

In January I signed up for a coaching certification program and started working on the course work.  As I listened to coaching call after coaching call, I had an epiphany.  Each woman that I listened to sounded like me.  There were slight variations in their story, but they were each relatable.  I could always find something in common with them.  Like me, some of them tried to hide the problems with their life, but their problems would follow them.  They would leave one job and the problem would follow them to a new job.  They would leave one relationship to have some of the same issues present themselves in the next relationship.  Their problems didn’t just disappear, they presented in a new form.   In order to truly move forward and live an empowered life you must examine your past.  Whether it is the past in this lifetime or another lifetime.  It will follow you until you release what is stored in your body.  The body doesn’t lie. 

Take a moment and think about the reasons that you have left jobs or relationships.  Do they have a common theme?  These themes are trying to provide us clues.  Once we start to examine the clues, we truly start to create the change that we are searching for.  Let’s release that story that no longer serves you and who you are meant to be.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I’m Quite Bendy

Are you flexible?  Being flexible is something I’m working on.  We can be shown something, or know something is right deep within our gut, but it doesn’t always happen the way we expect.

It is ok to go back to the drawing board.  I do it every day.  It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, but that something else might be in play.  It could be divine timing is off.  It could be the energies aren’t right.  You may need to work on releasing energy from your system to welcome in the new.

The energies of July were intense.  Between the eclipses and all the retrograde planets, it seems like things have been on hold.  Things that we anticipated moving and advancing, stopped and dug in.

I spent the month of July cleaning up my emotional body and when I thought I was close to being ready to move forward, Mercury moved direct on July 31 and the eclipse energies officially closed with the new moon the same day.  The universe had a surprise for me.  When I first started planning my business, I had anticipated having a part-time job.  One seemed to line itself up, but it fell through, Mercury Retrograde was in action then too.  I took it as a message, and verified it through multiple tools (oracle cards, pendulums, other readers, etc.).   The universe was telling me I didn’t need the part-time job, so I put the idea on hold.  Three months later though, things haven’t turned out the way I thought, and Mercury Retrograde was back.  I put on my “asking for help” cap.  The part-time position that had fallen through in April was back open, so I reached out and inquired about the position.  Within a short period of time, I had an appointment to talk about the position, and now have a part-time position.

But here’s the thing. I have always needed to have a sense of control.  I have three planets in the fixed sign of Scorpio (Sun, Mercury, and Uranus).  I’m currently being pushed by spirit to go with the flow.  I’m learning to loosen the reins and go where the universe wants me to go.  It is one of the hardest things I’ve done, but there are moments where it feels right, and I know it is the correct decision and part of my life path.  For me it is finding the balance between flexibility and control.

How are you doing with the dance between flexibility and control?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Presence is Now

Living in the present moment should be easy, right?  I won’t speak for you, but for me it has always been a challenge.  I tend to dwell about the past, and look to what I want to happen, or be different in the future, instead of living in the moment. 

Why do I do that?  I haven’t quite figured out yet, except it is a problem that most people have, and I’m sure that you have experienced yourself.  We tend to not experience life from the present moment.   You want to know the answer before you have experienced the question.  You read a book, and you want to flip to the end to find out the ending.  But the key to making real change in your life is to live in the moment.

I have a good memory, which I have said to multiple people can be both a blessing and a curse.  One of the few times that my memory fails me is when I have a seizure.  To give further background of my seizure disorder, I saw a neurologist when I was a child.  In last week’s post, I went into some details about how my seizure disorder effected me as a child, now for the adult side.  My neurologist had said that my seizure disorder would probably return as an adult, but he couldn’t state in what form.  Seizures tend in be cyclical and hormonally based, so there are different onset periods.  I missed the one when I hit puberty, but I hit the one as I was moving into my 20’s.  As a child, I had grand mal seizures.  These are the types of seizures that everyone thinks of when they think of seizures.  As an adult, I was diagnosed with absence seizures.  I would space out for a few moments, and then my consciousness would return.  Looking back now, I can’t say for certain that being presented with those circumstances at that time that I would do anything different with them.  But what do I do next?  I went to a new neurologist.  Of course, what is next?  Tests.  I had to have an EEG where they make you stay up all night and then tape suction cups to your head.  They want you to fall asleep without moving and sitting up in a chair.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type of person that can sleep on command.  I’ve had this test a couple of times, and it has come to the point where they give me something to help me fall asleep.  I still can’t sleep during the test, but at least I’m somewhat relaxed.  During one test I still hadn’t fallen asleep several hours after the test was complete.  I guess sleep medication and I aren’t compatible.

The second test that they ordered was an MRI.  They wanted to make sure that there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain.  I went to have the MRI and the technician said that it would take an hour and a half, but if I moved during the test it would blur the images, and I might have to come back.  No way was I going to do that again.  The technician taped my head down to the table so that I could feel if I moved too much.  Luckily, I have only had to do this test once.   The neurologist said there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain and that it was normal.  My boss at the time said that couldn’t possibly be true and I should have a second opinion.  Funny guy.  So, I received my diagnosis and they put me on medication.  The medication would help my mind to not wander, but the medication presented a new obstacle.  If I forgot to take it, I could have a grand mal seizure.  This has happened to be a couple of times over the years. 

So, what does all of this have to do with living in the present moment?  According to Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”, seizures are about “[r]running away from the family, from the self, or from life.”  So, at 19, what was going on.  You could say that I was running away from myself or from life.  I didn’t know how to be me.  It should be one of the simplest things to do, but I had forgotten how.  I would look at other people’s lives and could imagine myself in their place.  I wasn’t living my life; I was moving through the motions.  I would go to work and school.  Hang out with friends.  And repeat.  I would look forward to the day when things would change, but they didn’t start to change until I did.

Now I mentioned earlier that the medication has caused me to have a couple of grand mal seizures if I forget to take my medication.  I can look at these times and the memory loss drives me crazy because I lose a few moments before, and my complete memory doesn’t come back until I have slept.  The connections in my brain reform while I sleep, but what about the between time.  I exist.  I typically remember my name but holding conversations and answering questions is challenging.  My memory exists in snapshots.  I have one memory and I have another one two hours later.  I will never be able to fill in all the pieces.  What I have come to realize is that while it drives me crazy to not have all the pieces, I am better off.  When I have had a seizure, it forces me to live in the moment.  Now I wouldn’t say that I purposely forget to my medication so that I can live in the moment.  That would be stupid of me.  But in that time frame I am in that moment and only in that moment.  There is no past and there is no future.  There is only now.  That moment teaches me so much about how to live life. 

We manifest the life that we want when we can act from the present; when we have released our past and are not constantly looking to the future.  That is what having seizures have taught me.  How are you doing at living in the present moment?  Is there something that happens that forces you to be in the moment?  Remember we are all a work in progress.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Don’t Need Your Help!

As a society we are taught that you should be able to do it all yourself.  If you can’t do it yourself, then you are a failure.  But here’s the thing, none of us can do it all ourselves. 

Everyone needs help every now and then, sometimes even more than we realize. What is wrong with us asking for help?  It goes against everything that we are taught.  We are taught that we should be self-sufficient.  We should be able to do it all, especially as women.  We are taught that we can have a full-time job and a family without help from anyone.  That isn’t true.  We all need to be supported, especially when we are making drastic changes.

Most of my life I have felt that it was unacceptable to ask for help.  I needed to be able to take care of it all myself in order to be successful.  All of life’s answers could be found in a book, or if you tapped way down inside yourself, you could find the answer.  While that may be true to a certain extent, I also found that everyone experiences life through a different lens, and that alternative lens can be extremely useful in helping you to move forward.  It may be that you work with a teacher who can help you to learn a new skill that will take you to new places.  It could be working with a coach or therapist to guide you on your journey through these dark places to a place where the world seems lighter.  I have tried both approaches and you know what?  I was able to move quicker when I asked for help.  Whether it was a teacher or a coach, they were able to see things from a perspective that no matter how hard I tried I wasn’t in that place.  It also provided me with someone that I was accountable to.  I had to demonstrate to someone that I had done the work.  I couldn’t keep kicking the can down the road because something more important came up.  I was truly able to work on myself in a more efficient manner.

We are all a work in progress.  There is never going to be a moment where you are “cured”, but there is a moment that you accept your humanness and no longer let those fears hold you back.  You can ask for help and know that you are doing the best you can.  And you know what?  Everything will be ok.  The world isn’t going to cave in on you because you can’t do everything that you would like.  You can only do what is important to you. 

Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.  How can I help you to make a change?

Shadows and Dreams


Happy Independence Day weekend here in the United States!  It seems like there has been a lot going on in the physical world and the energetic world.  Plus, here in Maine it finally started to feel like summer.

We are amid the eclipse portal.  The second eclipse is on July 16.  Everything is energetically heightened right now.  I don’t know about you, but all my shadow triggers are rising to the surface.  I have had to spend time energetically cutting cords to my past and releasing my fears.

We are halfway though the year.  It is time for a midpoint review.  It is an opportunity to look at things with a new perspective.  Where are you in relation to you dreams?  As I have previously mentioned, my year began with a bang.  The structure that I have spent the last 15 years building detonated around me.  It came crashing to the ground with a giant thud.  I lost my job and spent several days thinking about my next chapter.  What did I want to be in my new beginning?  I had a clean slate.  I could do anything I wanted.  I spent some time looking at new careers, but nothing sparked my interest, like a Facebook Live featuring Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette.  I had also been taking classes to raise my consciousness with Marisa Moris over the last year.  I soon decided there was never going to be a better time to chase a new dream.  I got my Reiki Master training with Elemental Energies with Chris Ann & Jeff and laid the groundwork.  I set up a new business.  I built my website and on April 30, I officially launched my business.  It hasn’t been easy, and I am clearing triggers constantly, but when I’m doing sessions with people it doesn’t feel like work.  I am on my path,

What has been coming to the surface for you?  What are your dreams?  Are you living them?  Let me help you to create your dream life.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.  How can I help you to claim your dreams?