Let Go of the Past and Step into a New Life

When you first start out on the spiritual path, you are taught that if you are grateful and positive you will start a new life.  While part of that is true, there is one problem.  You are a human being.  That human being has memories and emotions stored within the body.  In order to be truly grateful and to manifest a life that is for highest and best good, you must go backwards.

You have a story.  It is a story that is repeated.  It can be a story that you tell yourself, or one that you see appear in front of you.  But that story is what is holding you back.  To get where we want in life, we must first confront our story.

For years I did the positivity thing and would state affirmations.  While they changed my outlook on life, they didn’t change the outcome of my life.  I still wore a mask.  I wasn’t myself.  I had the story on repeat in my head.  I would look at other people and compare how my life was and the perception that I had of them.  I didn’t measure up and there was a why even try type of attitude.

In January I signed up for a coaching certification program and started working on the course work.  As I listened to coaching call after coaching call, I had an epiphany.  Each woman that I listened to sounded like me.  There were slight variations in their story, but they were each relatable.  I could always find something in common with them.  Like me, some of them tried to hide the problems with their life, but their problems would follow them.  They would leave one job and the problem would follow them to a new job.  They would leave one relationship to have some of the same issues present themselves in the next relationship.  Their problems didn’t just disappear, they presented in a new form.   In order to truly move forward and live an empowered life you must examine your past.  Whether it is the past in this lifetime or another lifetime.  It will follow you until you release what is stored in your body.  The body doesn’t lie. 

Take a moment and think about the reasons that you have left jobs or relationships.  Do they have a common theme?  These themes are trying to provide us clues.  Once we start to examine the clues, we truly start to create the change that we are searching for.  Let’s release that story that no longer serves you and who you are meant to be.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Do I Have to Be Grateful For?

Gratitude is tricky.  Society teaches that we should want.  We should want a bigger house, a better car, more money.  But the secret to manifesting what you want is gratitude.  Being grateful for what you already have. 

How can I be grateful for what I already have?  I am not where I thought I would be in my life.  I am starting over again.  Growing up I thought I would be married and have children by now, but that hasn’t happened yet.  I thought that I would have a successful career but didn’t know what I would be.  As a child, I would pretend I was a teacher.  Was that because it was something that I was meant to do, or something that I thought I should be since many of my family members were teachers.  But I do not currently have a successful career, I am starting a new career path.  I know it is a path that I’m meant to follow.  Not sure quite yet how all the pieces are coming together, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction, but what do I do while all the pieces come together? 

My life is not what I expected, but it is what it is.  I can’t change my past, but I can work through it.  I can change what I have done in the past that has led me to where I am today.  Patience is required, for Spirit doesn’t move as quickly as we would like.  There may be other people in play, it is hard to see these changes play out in real time.  We want an instantaneous response.  But you know what?  Life doesn’t work that way.  We must fight for what we want, right?  Society teaches us to fight for what we want.  But what if the reverse is true? What if we are supposed to be grateful for what we have, and trust that what will come to us if it is in our highest and best good.

There was a time when I wouldn’t have been able to think that way, let alone be willing to try it.  But there comes a point in life where you’re willing to try anything even the unconventional.  So, back to gratitude.  Gratitude may seem an unconventional philosophy at first, but it has its virtues.  I am grateful that I have a family that is willing to support me as I undergo this new venture in my life.  I am grateful that I have friends and family that I can bounce ideas off.  I am grateful that I have had so many opportunities in my life, so I have been able to try new things.  I am grateful that people have been willing to give me a chance.  I am grateful that I can change.  I can change my life; I can change my perspective.  I can change my life. 

Only I can change my life.  No one else can do it for me.  No matter how much I wish I could blame other people for where I am in my life, it is all me.  The choices that I made.  The paths that I’ve taken have led me to this moment.  I am grateful that I can see my life for what it is.  It is a work in progress, and I have a choice to make.   What do I want my life to look like five years in the future?   I want to be happy in both my personal life and my career path.  So, today I am grateful that I can make a change and take a different path. 

It can be hard to find a silver lining for it is not always on the surface for us to easily find, but it is there.  You may need someone else to help you find it. What are you grateful for?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I’m Quite Bendy

Are you flexible?  Being flexible is something I’m working on.  We can be shown something, or know something is right deep within our gut, but it doesn’t always happen the way we expect.

It is ok to go back to the drawing board.  I do it every day.  It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, but that something else might be in play.  It could be divine timing is off.  It could be the energies aren’t right.  You may need to work on releasing energy from your system to welcome in the new.

The energies of July were intense.  Between the eclipses and all the retrograde planets, it seems like things have been on hold.  Things that we anticipated moving and advancing, stopped and dug in.

I spent the month of July cleaning up my emotional body and when I thought I was close to being ready to move forward, Mercury moved direct on July 31 and the eclipse energies officially closed with the new moon the same day.  The universe had a surprise for me.  When I first started planning my business, I had anticipated having a part-time job.  One seemed to line itself up, but it fell through, Mercury Retrograde was in action then too.  I took it as a message, and verified it through multiple tools (oracle cards, pendulums, other readers, etc.).   The universe was telling me I didn’t need the part-time job, so I put the idea on hold.  Three months later though, things haven’t turned out the way I thought, and Mercury Retrograde was back.  I put on my “asking for help” cap.  The part-time position that had fallen through in April was back open, so I reached out and inquired about the position.  Within a short period of time, I had an appointment to talk about the position, and now have a part-time position.

But here’s the thing. I have always needed to have a sense of control.  I have three planets in the fixed sign of Scorpio (Sun, Mercury, and Uranus).  I’m currently being pushed by spirit to go with the flow.  I’m learning to loosen the reins and go where the universe wants me to go.  It is one of the hardest things I’ve done, but there are moments where it feels right, and I know it is the correct decision and part of my life path.  For me it is finding the balance between flexibility and control.

How are you doing with the dance between flexibility and control?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Presence is Now

Living in the present moment should be easy, right?  I won’t speak for you, but for me it has always been a challenge.  I tend to dwell about the past, and look to what I want to happen, or be different in the future, instead of living in the moment. 

Why do I do that?  I haven’t quite figured out yet, except it is a problem that most people have, and I’m sure that you have experienced yourself.  We tend to not experience life from the present moment.   You want to know the answer before you have experienced the question.  You read a book, and you want to flip to the end to find out the ending.  But the key to making real change in your life is to live in the moment.

I have a good memory, which I have said to multiple people can be both a blessing and a curse.  One of the few times that my memory fails me is when I have a seizure.  To give further background of my seizure disorder, I saw a neurologist when I was a child.  In last week’s post, I went into some details about how my seizure disorder effected me as a child, now for the adult side.  My neurologist had said that my seizure disorder would probably return as an adult, but he couldn’t state in what form.  Seizures tend in be cyclical and hormonally based, so there are different onset periods.  I missed the one when I hit puberty, but I hit the one as I was moving into my 20’s.  As a child, I had grand mal seizures.  These are the types of seizures that everyone thinks of when they think of seizures.  As an adult, I was diagnosed with absence seizures.  I would space out for a few moments, and then my consciousness would return.  Looking back now, I can’t say for certain that being presented with those circumstances at that time that I would do anything different with them.  But what do I do next?  I went to a new neurologist.  Of course, what is next?  Tests.  I had to have an EEG where they make you stay up all night and then tape suction cups to your head.  They want you to fall asleep without moving and sitting up in a chair.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type of person that can sleep on command.  I’ve had this test a couple of times, and it has come to the point where they give me something to help me fall asleep.  I still can’t sleep during the test, but at least I’m somewhat relaxed.  During one test I still hadn’t fallen asleep several hours after the test was complete.  I guess sleep medication and I aren’t compatible.

The second test that they ordered was an MRI.  They wanted to make sure that there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain.  I went to have the MRI and the technician said that it would take an hour and a half, but if I moved during the test it would blur the images, and I might have to come back.  No way was I going to do that again.  The technician taped my head down to the table so that I could feel if I moved too much.  Luckily, I have only had to do this test once.   The neurologist said there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain and that it was normal.  My boss at the time said that couldn’t possibly be true and I should have a second opinion.  Funny guy.  So, I received my diagnosis and they put me on medication.  The medication would help my mind to not wander, but the medication presented a new obstacle.  If I forgot to take it, I could have a grand mal seizure.  This has happened to be a couple of times over the years. 

So, what does all of this have to do with living in the present moment?  According to Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”, seizures are about “[r]running away from the family, from the self, or from life.”  So, at 19, what was going on.  You could say that I was running away from myself or from life.  I didn’t know how to be me.  It should be one of the simplest things to do, but I had forgotten how.  I would look at other people’s lives and could imagine myself in their place.  I wasn’t living my life; I was moving through the motions.  I would go to work and school.  Hang out with friends.  And repeat.  I would look forward to the day when things would change, but they didn’t start to change until I did.

Now I mentioned earlier that the medication has caused me to have a couple of grand mal seizures if I forget to take my medication.  I can look at these times and the memory loss drives me crazy because I lose a few moments before, and my complete memory doesn’t come back until I have slept.  The connections in my brain reform while I sleep, but what about the between time.  I exist.  I typically remember my name but holding conversations and answering questions is challenging.  My memory exists in snapshots.  I have one memory and I have another one two hours later.  I will never be able to fill in all the pieces.  What I have come to realize is that while it drives me crazy to not have all the pieces, I am better off.  When I have had a seizure, it forces me to live in the moment.  Now I wouldn’t say that I purposely forget to my medication so that I can live in the moment.  That would be stupid of me.  But in that time frame I am in that moment and only in that moment.  There is no past and there is no future.  There is only now.  That moment teaches me so much about how to live life. 

We manifest the life that we want when we can act from the present; when we have released our past and are not constantly looking to the future.  That is what having seizures have taught me.  How are you doing at living in the present moment?  Is there something that happens that forces you to be in the moment?  Remember we are all a work in progress.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Am I Awake or Asleep?

The process of awakening can be both easy and difficult at the same time.  It has a lot to do with you.  Me?  Yes, you.  How could it be based on me?  We all have certain beliefs about the metaphysical world or as my Dad calls it the “woo woo” world.

We all move forward and slide back on our path to becoming enlightened.  The energies of the world today make it harder and harder to stay asleep.  The spiritual world is forcing you into a new reality.  One that you can either surrender to or go into kicking and screaming.

The awakening process could involve an illness or a question of why does my life seem so hard?  For me, it was the latter.  I had spent my life trying to be someone who I wasn’t.   It took me a while to start and put the pieces together because I no longer knew who I was.  I had lost my identity.  I started to read self-help books.  One of the first books, if not the first, was “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.  Total game changer and if you haven’t read yet, I urge you too.  I began to look at everything as a sign and something to peel away from allergies to ear infections, to back pain, to excess weight.  More than six years later, I am still peeling away the layers.  But, as I uncovered more, I began to tackle the question of “Who Am I?”  I started to dabble in astrology and numerology.  These gave me clues, but it wasn’t until this year that everything started to click.  I lost my job in January and had a chance to decide who I wanted to be in this next phase of my life.  The old me wasn’t there anymore and working in immigration law, while it helped people, didn’t seem to fit me anymore.  I watched a Facebook Live with Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette that changed the direction of my life.  This was only 2 days after losing my job!  I had studied different modalities but didn’t know how to combine everything.  This was my answer.  Coaching was something that had come relatively easy to me over the years, but I didn’t really know anything about the industry.  So, I took a leap and signed up for a coaching certification program.  Through that program, my life began to change.  Things didn’t move as quickly as I would have liked, but they began to progress.  Synchronicity began to happen.  I met new people who took me in new directions.  Some of the old people feel away.  They weren’t a part of my new journey and others were inspired by what I was doing and decided to come along for the ride.  Today I am not the same person that rang in 2019.  When that flow happens, you are on your soul path.

My process was not quick and yours probably won’t be either.  Where are you in your process?  Are you starting or further along?  The journey to awakening matches you.  There is no right or wrong answer.  It is what it is.  It is as unique as you.  If you would like my help in your process, click here to book an appointment.

Where am I?

Have you ever felt lost?  I would be surprised if you haven’t.  Everyone has felt lost at one time or another.  A time where I don’t quite know what’s wrong, but how did I end up here?  Life is a series of choices that are made and sometimes can take us so far from what was intended.  Those choices are trying to show us something, but we must be willing to pay attention.  It is challenging to try and look at things from a new perspective and see that maybe we had a hand in where we have ended up.  It is hard to admit that maybe you have been wrong.  That maybe you couldn’t see something that was right in front of you.

I first began my journey towards the spiritual side of life when I went to the Enlightenment Expo in Portland, Maine in May of 2013.  It had been suggested that I go, and I figured why not, I didn’t have other plans that day and I really could use a new direction.  I was at a job where I wasn’t happy, I didn’t have a romantic partner in my life, and nothing seemed to be going the way that I wanted.  I started to look for answers.  I started going to events and opened myself up to new ideas.  I had a numerology reading at one of them where she told me that I could be working at one sometime.  My response was, “yeah right”.  I had that conversation with two additional psychics over the years before I finally started to hear what I was being told.  Synchronicity began to flow.  I met the people I needed to meet so that I could learn to open up.  Spirit has a way of directing you even if we don’t want to hear it.

What aren’t you seeing or hearing?  Do you feel lost right now? Is there something right in front you that you can’t see?

Spring, New Beginnings and a Step

It is officially Spring.  Well, so it began in the middle of March officially, but the snow is melting, hopefully and Spring is underway.  The flowers are blooming, the days are longer, and a time for seeking new beginnings is here. 

For some of us, new beginnings seek us out.  This is my first official post as the owner of SoulHeart Intuitive Coaching.  My new beginning started in January, when the universe pushed me in a new direction and forced me to change direction in a way that I was unsure about.  My career path of 10 years came to an end and an authentic life path began.  Within days, synchronicity flowed and I paid attention to my intuition.  I was led to an empowerment coaching certification program.  A month later, a business course began to help me to set up my business.  Synchronicity at work.  A few weeks went by and I became a Reiki Master and completed a course of healing with Lemurian crystals.  Another week and I initiated a business manifestation class and an astrology class dealing with Life Purpose.   See the flow? A lot has happened within such a short time it can make a person’s head spin. 

What are you thinking with the coming of Spring?  Has the universe been pushing you into a new direction?  Where are you being guided?  There so many options it can be challenging at times.  Take several deep breaths.  What do you want to achieve during this time of new beginnings?