Becoming You

What if you aren’t who you thought you were?  Unfortunately, traumatic events can make us not want to be hurt again, so we start to hold a part of ourselves back.  We don’t show who we are and allow our authentic self to shine through.

Having spent a good portion of the last 9 years or so working through trauma has now led me to the point of I thought I knew who I was but there’s more.  I was looking at pictures and I found one from about the age of 4 that has always spoken to me.  What is it about that one picture?  I’m starting to think it’s my authentic self speaking to me.  Helping me.  Guiding me back to the person I’m meant to be.

Nothing that I’ve done has been for not.  It has led me to this point.  I could say the same thing to you.  Everything that you’ve done has led you to this point.  The question is what do you do next?  Do you continue to play it safe or step up?  How do you move forward?

Becoming who you were meant to be is challenging.  We can doubt ourselves and not know which way to go.  So what do we do?  There are variations for each of us.  I tend to take the big picture and break it down into small pieces.  You may jump right in.  Neither one is right nor wrong.  It’s all about who we are.

All these energies are forcing us to review our story.  Who have we been and who do we want to become?  Who are we?  What do we value?  Does our day-to-day life demonstrate what we value?  Maybe you’re reviewing this list of questions and decide that you’re good.  That’s great!  You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself to reach that place, but what if you’re not?  Becoming the person you’re meant to be can present it’s own challenges, but when you finally know who you are, there’s nothing better.

Who do you want to be? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Time for Adjustments?

We’re on a journey in life.  No matter how much we want things to stay the same, they don’t.  There are some things we want so badly in life, we can taste it, but it doesn’t happen the way we think it will or think it should. The people we think will stay a part of our lives forever leave, for any number of reasons.  We want to know when things will change for the better, but maybe we aren’t meant to know.

We want to know the answers to life's biggest questions and we just don’t know.  If 2020 has shown us anything so far, it is to expect the unexpected. But it also reveals where we still need to work on our lives.

Right now, nothing is what we think it should be.  We are in a huge period change personally and globally.  We’re about to see a new snapshot of what 2020 has in store for us.  More of the picture is being revealed.  We have the second eclipse plus the solstice.  Also, we have 5 planets in retrograde (Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto) with another one about to go retrograde (Neptune).  That’s a lot of retrograde energy.  During retrogrades we’re meant to review, revise and reexamine our lives.  What’s our vision?  Does our life meet our vision?  Where are we off course?  What can we do to adjust? It’s time for adjustments.

I’ve been playing around with astrology for several years now and during quarantine I’ve been working on learning to read charts.  It’s a process!  But it’s a path that I’m meant to follow. I’ve always been fascinated by horoscopes and how we can take natal charts to learn something about ourselves.  Learning about my natal chart has helped me to accept parts of myself that I thought were wrong, or others thought were different than they should be.

This retrograde is another period for me to examine my life.  Where did I steer off course?  I can think of a few things.  I’m sure you can as well.  How do I adjust?  With my study of astrology, it’s time to take a new examination and pick up where I last left off while I completed my coaching certification.  Continue what I had started and put aside.  I can think of other things, but those are stories for a future time. 

Use the power of the energies we’re in right now and make adjustments to fit your vision.

What adjustments do you need to make?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

We live at a point in time where our daily life can be super uncomfortable.  Our security, our safety, and our level of comfort have been rocked.  We are being forced to live outside of our comfort zone and most of us don’t like it!  It’s one thing to make a choice to step outside of your comfort zone and make changes to your life, but it’s another to have those changes forced upon you.

None of us want to have decisions made for us.  We want to oversee our lives.  Living in a COVID-19 world, people are in pain.  People are dying.  People are drowning in debt.  People can’t pay their bills.  People don’t have food.  It can be challenging to see the positives and opportunities when we are just trying to survive.

For so many of us, right now is about surviving.  We’re trying to make it one day or pay one bill.  I know this can be hard to hear, but we might be missing what we need to learn.  COVID-19 is an opportunity for us to learn.  To make the hard decisions.

For years I lived in the dark.  I didn’t want to know what my problems were, I just wanted them to miraculously go away.  I didn’t care whether it was someone else coming to save me or my life just suddenly got better.  Either way was good.  I didn’t care how it happened.

Growing up I thought that certain things would happen at a certain point in my life.  For some they did, but for me, they didn’t seem to work out that way.  When I turned 30, I didn’t want to acknowledge that my life wasn’t what I had dreamed it would be.  The hardest question I ever asked myself was why.  Asking that question meant that I could no longer live my life in denial.  I had to take the leap out of my comfort zone.  That leap was one of the most terrifying things I had done.  Starting my own business last year was officially the most terrifying thing I have ever done.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable.

What you’re experiencing right now is a push out of your comfort zone and I’m right there with you.  I’ve been given another shove put of my comfort zone this past month.  My routine has been totally disrupted.  My income has been shaken up.  One of the hardest things that I had to do was overcome my pride and file for unemployment.  I had done everything right!  I had gotten a part-time job to help pay my bills while my business was getting established.  I stepped past my pride and had to have courage and trust that all would be ok.  The interesting thing is that by taking that leap I’m doing better than I was a month ago.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is.  I’m grateful that I’m doing better, but I also know that I’ve done a lot of work to get there.  There was no miracle cure.  No one came to save me.  It was me.  I had to do the work and take the leap.  My discomfort had to grow to the point that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I had reached my breaking point.  Congratulations!  You may have just reached yours.  Here comes the opportunity for you to say that I’m never going to be like this again and start to make different decisions.

How are you going to step out of your comfort zone?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time for a Little Faith

One of my favorite quotes has always been “faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”  A Miracle on 34th Street.  Sometimes we just have a feeling that everything is going to be ok.

We are living at a time when people around us are afraid.  You might even be one of them.  You may have lost your job or are about to lose it.  You might not be able to pay your bills.  You may know someone who is sick, or you may be.  You might just be frustrated that you can’t get everything done in a day.  First off, take a deep breath.  Everything happens for a reason.

For a long time, I had trouble with that statement, and I know I’m not alone.  Why does a young child get sick and die?  Why did this happen to me?  I wish I could answer all the why’s, but it isn’t always possible.  What I can tell you is that there is a lesson hidden in there and until you can find it, you must have a little faith.  Some of my biggest life lessons took me years to discover.  Some only took a few hours.

There is no right answer.  Every person lives life differently and you’re allowed to, but are you growing as a result or are you staying stuck?  If you’re stuck, it’s time to change that feeling and have a little faith that when we come out of quarantine that your life can be better.   Let’s be honest, life can’t be what it was before.  That may be hard to hear, but it’s true.  We can never be the people we were yesterday.  We have learned something or uncovered something which has moved us forward.  At the very least we are a day older.

On Tuesday I broke quarantine to go grocery shopping.  I started my day with a plan.  As soon as I put my key in the ignition my plan was gone.  I’ve spoken about my car battery before, well it decided it was done.  Why had it chosen that moment?  I looked to see who was open.  The least expensive option that I could see at the time was temporarily closed.  The only other place I could think of was the car dealership.  I called and they said they could replace the battery and it might still be covered under warranty.  I asked if he could look up when I purchased the battery.  I thought I had purchased it in 2016, but I had purchased it in October 2017.  It was still covered by the 30-month warranty.  I got a new battery for free!  I haven’t always had faith, but I had enough to get me there.  I had 1 month left on my warranty and if my battery hadn’t died, I will admit I would have tried to keep it going because I don’t have extra cash lying around.  But I also could have missed out on a free battery.  I was fortunate, but I was also going to another place and interacting with more people than I had planned.  As the day progressed, I started to think about how different things are from just a few weeks ago.  But I had to have faith that all would be ok.  I took all the precautions that I could and the rest I had to believe would work out.

We aren’t in quarantine just to keep us safe, but those around us safe.  To know that what we can contribute is enough and have faith that it is working.  Faith can help us in many things from getting a new car battery to walking through the grocery store to just working through our fear.  We just need to believe that everything will work out how it’s supposed to.  It’s time for a little faith.

What do you need faith to help you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Walking Wounded

This is a challenging time.  No one has ever seen anything like this, and we are unlikely to ever see anything like it again.  We are being asked to rise.  We are being asked to have compassion for our friends, our neighbors, our enemies, and ourselves.

It can be difficult when what we want isn’t going our way.  Our frustrations can be unleashed on those who have little to do with our problems.  This is a time to take a breath and think before we respond.

So many of us have lost our income.  We are having to file for unemployment and take steps that we never expected to take.  We did everything right.  Each one of us is the walking wounded.  We have so much in common right now, but it can be hard to see other people’s pain when we can barely see our own.

Last week was a challenge.  The place where I have been working part-time closed its doors until we are able to open again.  Last year I experienced all these major shifts and put the pieces together to have half of my plan blown apart again.  My first step was to make it through a day and then through the week.  It can be too hard to make decisions when you’re just trying to get through the day.

Once I made it through my work week, the next step was to take care of anything that I needed while on my way home.  Then I arrived home and cleaned up anything germs that I might have on me.  I washed the floors, the surfaces, and anything else I might have touched.  My final step was to give myself time.  I knew from experience that I could only take care of my most immediate needs at that moment.  I gave myself permission to feel anything I felt.  I listened to USA For Africa’s “We Are the World” and cried.  I worked through my pride and filed for unemployment so I could pay my bills.  I allowed myself to be angry at what this virus has done to the world, my plans, and to grieve for what I and others have lost. 

The world that we knew is not the same place and it can’t be.  When you do venture outside to get groceries or gas, say hello and thank the clerk.  Accept that the things you need might not be available.  Have compassion for those around you.  We are all in this together and are feeling the same things.  We will come out of this better people. 

After the attacks on September 11th one of the lessons I have always remembered was a sense of unity in our collective grief.  People hung their American flags at their door.  We have an opportunity again.  There is always a possibility of a rainbow after a rainstorm, but we must look for it.  Look for the silver lining.  We are resilient and will come through this stronger than ever.  We can do this but show a little kindness to each person.  It goes a long way.

How are you showing compassion? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Am I Going to Do?

It’s time to pause the posts of the Map of Consciousness for at least a week and focus on something that most everyone is feeling right now, anxiety and fear.

People like to be in control of their own lives.  They like to have an idea of what is going to happen from day to day.  They like certainty.

As we live in times of a pandemic, there is very little certainty or control.  New information is being reported throughout the day.  How are we supposed to keep calm?

While I believe that we make choices in our life, I also think that some things are fated.  I believe this may be one of those times.  For a long time, our culture has been all about me and what do I want.  You could see it in the grocery stores last week with people fighting for the last pack of toilet paper.  We aren’t meant to live our lives focused on only ourselves.  We are meant to be concerned for our neighbors and have compassion for our fellow citizens.  We are all hurting.

We are meant to shift right now.  Shifting isn’t comfortable.  Some of the anxiety you’re experiencing could be due to this.  Maybe you’re an empath and can feel other’s emotions.  Just going to the grocery store was an exercise in not picking up other’s emotions.  Or maybe you’re just trying to make it through the day with some sense of normalcy.

This is a time for us to come together, but your emotions will follow you wherever you go.  You can’t run.  You can’t hide.  It’s ok to be afraid or anxious, but you need to move through these emotions.  You don’t want them to become a part of you.  Negative emotions are said to weaken the body which can make you more likely to get sick.

So, what do you do?  You need to find what works for you.  It could be meditation, reading a book, going outside, or having a dance party.

My ability to quiet the mind started when I practiced regular Reiki sessions.  First by having other people conduct them for me and now practicing them on myself and others.  I also regularly turn off the TV.  I get the news that I need and then give myself time to process it.  In the evenings, I’ve been reading books.  I’ve been rereading books that I’ve loved over the years such as Harry Potter, Jane Austen and Twilight.  Books that can take me to another world and allow my imagination to soar.

What are you doing to help with your anxiety? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Can Do This!

Courage.  The 9th level of Dr. David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness.  It vibrates at a level of 200 within the body.  It’s the area where you truly start to feel empowered and excited.  Energy is building within your body and you can start to see the big picture.  You can see the possibilities.

What does being empowered mean to you?  I had never really thought about what that meant to me until last year.  For so many years I had felt like things happened to other people, but they didn’t happen to me.  There were periods of time where I could be positive and start to feel like they were shifting and then something else would fall apart.

There were parts of my life where it felt like I had made my choices and I needed to carry them forward.  I had decided in my 20’s that I was going to be a Paralegal.  I started out as a Legal Assistant and would look for ways that I could move that dream forward.  I found Immigration law which seemed to fit well with my interests and hobbies, but I was stuck as a Legal Assistant and couldn’t find get to the title of Paralegal. I had to find the courage to apply for other jobs.  By the end of 2011, I had begun to realize that path and it became a question of how do I continue to develop.

With the election of a new president in 2016, I couldn’t have foreseen all the changes that would take place in Immigration law.  I figured that unless laws were passed, things would remain the same, but they didn’t.  All the things that I loved about working in Immigration started to evaporate.  But what could I do?  I had made my choice.  I started to become interested in metaphysics and received my certificates in Reiki, but I questioned whether I could do that for a living.

As 2018 ended, I knew my life was about to change.  The question was how long did I have.  The answer is 3 weeks.  I talked with a friend of mine who happens to be a psychic and she was able to help me determine that I could start a business as a coach, but I couldn’t quite figure out all the pieces.  I applied to a couple of places to help while I put the pieces together, so I could leave my current job on my terms.  Just over a week later, I was terminated from my position.  I decided to take time to think I did the obvious first and looked through job listings.  I looked in other fields that might contain some of what I had enjoyed from working in immigration, but I couldn’t shake the conversations I’d had with my friend about starting a business.  What do I do?  I stumbled across a Facebook Live between Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette.  I learned about empowerment coaching and all the pieces seemed to come together.  For the first time in a long time I acted from a place of courage and took a leap.

Taking the leap didn’t mean that my past insecurities disappeared.  I started working with a coach and doing the coursework and I started to feel better.  It felt like anything was possible.  Another insecurity would come up for me to work through, I kept going.  At the end of April, it will be a year since I launched my business, a day that was terrifying and exciting at the same time.  Is it perfect, no, but I am so much happier than I’ve ever been.  I feel like myself.  I feel that I’m on my path and I have the courage to keep trying.  I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t had the courage to say yes, I can do this.

What would Courage have you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

New Year. New Decade. New You!

It’s officially 2020!  The countdown seems to have lasted forever, but the year that was 2019 is officially in the past.

Waking up on New Year’s Day, the energy was already different.  There seemed to be more of a hum, then a constant buzz for me, but that doesn’t mean that the world that was 2019 has ended, but we are on to the next chapter.

If you follow astrology, you know that 2020 has plenty to experience.  There will be many planetary meetings in the sky.  Saturn, the planet of Karma, will continue to reveal our path and what we need to work on.

For me, 2019 felt like the year of challenges and lessons.  If you look at it from a numerological perspective, it had the world energy of a 3, but for me it was a personal year of 4.  I am a 1 life path and I felt every bit of the challenge in those numbers.  This year will be a 5 year for me and I’m looking forward to the natural match energy to my life path.  However, 2019 gave me the gift of exploration.  I was forced to look back at my past and what I wanted my future to be.  I had to work through all the emotional attachments to past events.  The coaching certification program that I enrolled in is based on the work of Dr. David Hawkins entitled Power vs. Force.  Dr. Hawkins examined human behavior and our bodies’ reaction to trauma.  He then placed the basic emotions on a map and assigned them on a scale up to 1000.  These emotions range from Shame to Enlightenment.

Most of us, I’m sure you’re included, want to skip all the way up to Enlightenment.  It is crappy to experience Shame, Guilt, Apathy, Grief, Fear or Anger.  The problem with our way of thinking is those emotions are still there.  I had spent so much time learning to come from a place of optimism and positivity that I hadn’t taken the time to acknowledge the hurt.  Once I did, space began to open.  Did everything I want to come through at once?  I wish, but I had to peel the layers away and tackle the next emotion.

The last few years and 2020 will be included, have been forcing all of us to examine our past.  You may not like it, I know I certainly haven’t, but we are being called to shift to a new perspective.  A new way of looking at things.  We can either continue to resist or you can open a new door.  A new possibility.  So many of us start the new year off with a resolution.  A friend of mine a few years ago mentioned that at the end of the previous year she assigns a word for what she wants to experience the next year.  It is this practice that I have been playing with.  My word for 2020 is expansion.  I want to continue to expand my life and those experiences that make up who I am.

Wouldn’t you like to make 2020 the year where you took a step to releasing the baggage that is your past?   I’m right there with you.  I continue to do this work every day.  At first it is a challenge, but like anything it gets easier.

So, what do you want 2020 to look like for you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Happily Ever After

Growing up I loved watching Disney movies.  To be honest, I still do.  Today we have role models that are powerful like Elsa and Moana.  They act from an empowered place.  They are who they are, and others need to learn to accept them for who they are.  My favorites in my youth were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.  They don’t seem all that empowered now, they look like two role models who needed to be saved.

In 1981 Colette Dowling published a book The Cinderella Complex.  It’s a theory that women are afraid of independence and have an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others.  While I would love to say that I haven’t fallen into this trap, I probably have.  But, 2019 was the year that I started working on reversing this story.  I wanted someone to come and save me.  Whether it was from financial issues, having to work, or just being alone and wanting someone to be in a relationship with.  I wanted someone else to come and save me from life’s problems.  Like a fairy tale, I dreamed that by having someone “save me” all my problems would disappear.

There was just one problem, nobody else could save me.  I had to learn to save myself.  I had to take control and be empowered in my own life.  The idea that I had been waiting to be saved was a difficult one to swallow.  Why would I do that?  I don’t really have an explanation.  There are many theories that our experiences up to the ages of 7 to 8 shape who we become as adults.  Could that include something as simple as watching a movie repeatedly?  Maybe.  There is also the conditioning of women by society that could be a part of it.  Growing up women have been taught that our main responsibility is to be a wife and a mother.  Until the 1970’s, women only had a few career options, including being a secretary or teacher.  Once you were married, your occupation became that of a housewife.  Women didn’t even obtain the right to vote until 1920.

I was born at the end of 1980, so lots of changes were still underway regarding the role of women in the workplace and the home.  It is still shifting today.  In order to become the person that I am meant to be, I have had to examine my programing and work to save myself.  Only I can do that.  I can have someone else as a partner in my journey and discuss a path forward, but the ultimate decision is mine, as it is yours.  Only you can change your life. 

For me, 2019 has meant stepping into the person that I’m meant to be.  I’m still a work in progress, as are you, and we all are until the day we breathe our last breath.

In fairy tales, movies, and books, there is an end.  Many of them ending with a happily ever after.  We spend our lives seeking our own version of happily ever after, but what if we have it wrong?  What if our version of happily ever after is meant to be about ourselves?  We can never be truly happy in our lives if we don’t love who we are.  Another person can’t make you love yourself.  It’s an inside job.

So, as we close out not only another year, but another decade, what is your goal for 2020?  Who do you want to become?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Just Ask

There are times when you just have to ask for what you want and trust that you will receive a response.

This is a good test for this holiday season.  We are in the home stretch.  Christmas is on Wednesday and the New Year the next week.  But this is the time of year when people have expectations or miscommunications can arise.  You may expect someone to take care of the last-minute Christmas shopping or pick something up at the grocery store and they don’t.

My case is a little different.  I have been working a part-time job while I build my business.  The hair salon that I work at is closed a couple of the shifts that I typically work this Christmas week.  Just because they are closed doesn’t mean that my bills change.  So, one of my co-workers had an emergency arise this past week and I had the opportunity for two additional shifts.  In total the extra shifts amount to the same number of hours, plus a couple, that I lose the week of Christmas.  I said I needed help, but I had to trust that it would happen, and it did.

Trusting that our needs will be taken care of isn’t always easy.  I want things to happen in a specific way.  I want to do it myself, but that isn’t always possible.  It isn’t entirely up to me.  There are forces out there greater than me, but I had to ask.  Just thinking it wasn’t enough in this case.  I had to ask for help out loud.  It wasn’t directed to anyone.  It was like a prayer.

Asking for help isn’t easy.  It’s a lesson that I have had to practice a lot recently.  It’s not a lesson that I’m particularly fond of or comfortable with, but it’s an important one. 

As we head into Christmas and the new year, we can speak our truth and state what we need.  Practice this skill.  It doesn’t come easily.  Nothing that is worth having ever does, but it’s worth it in the end. 

What truth do you need to speak?  Where do you need help in life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do? Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.