Fantasy vs. Reality

For many of us a fantasy world can be a better world to reside in.  Reality can seem harsh at times.  It can be challenging to just move forward or get out of bed in the morning.  Reality can feel crushing at times and can lead to lots of tears.

A tower moment in my own life has been reached.  There are times when I prefer to live in the world of potential.  The land of yet to come, but that can be a distraction from looking at what is wrong in my life.  The energies of the past few days have made it impossible for me to live in a world of fantasy.  The reality of my life at this moment is a cocktail of disappointment and frustration.  2019 has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  I have travelled new paths and even though I know it is the right one, that doesn’t always make it easy.

My struggles are just as real as yours.  One moment I can be fine and the next a sobbing mess.  The slightest thing can set me off.  The unexpected can be a crash over a cliff.  There can be pain in knowing that something can’t happen yet.  This week I have been tested to practice what I preach.  After a few days of not being able to clearly see options, I reached out to a fellow coach to help with the reality of my life in this moment.

I’m optimistic because life can change for the better in an instant, but right now I’m taking my own advice and sitting with the pain.  About a year ago I received the warning of a bad review that my life was about to shift.  I started thinking and planning, but in reflection I’m still coming to terms with what that meant.  Things haven’t gone exactly as expected.  There have been challenges, struggles and lessons learned, but I must find my way forward.  I’m sure there will be more lessons as I progress, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day soon joy will feature more prominently in my life.

Reality can feel harsh, but it is showing me a new way forward.  I must continue to grow and expand, just as you do.  Life isn’t perfect.  My life isn’t perfect and I’m sure that yours isn’t either.  The pain of reality can stop so many of us from pursuing our dreams.  I’m working on now allowing the reality of what my life looks like right now stop me from finding success on my new path, but my fantasy world still has its place.  It allows me to dream and ponder the possibilities.

What does your reality look like?  What do you want it to look like?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Wish Things Were Different

Here in the United States, we are officially in holiday season.  We just had Thanksgiving and Christmas is a few weeks away.  I love the festive nature of this time of year.  I have always loved driving at night and seeing Christmas lights decorating people’s homes.  There is hope held in those lights.  Hope that things can change. 

Are there also stresses?  Absolutely!  But many of those stresses appear because we’re trying to be someone we’re not.  We’re trying to buy more than we can afford.  We’re visiting with family and friends that have differing opinions.  We want people to think the same way we do.  But that isn’t possible.  The people in our lives don’t have our life experiences.  Therefore, they can’t see things the same way.  These stresses in our lives can become a little easier if we accept things for how they are. 

Don’t get me wrong there is always hope in life, but there so many times that we wish someone else was different.  The problem is that we can’t change other people we can only change ourselves. 

There have been more times than I can count that I wanted someone or something to be different.  I wanted the situation to magically change without having to do things differently.  I’m sure you’ve been there.  My life began to shift when I started to change me.  The biggest thing that I had to do was accept me as I am.  I spent most of my life comparing myself to other people.  I didn’t look like they did.  I acted differently than they did.  I wasn’t in the same place in my life.

I spent so long focusing on how I was different not realizing those differences made me who I am.  I had to accept myself as the unique person I am.  Those differences made me special and eventually started me on to a new path.  There’s a flip side as well.  I had to accept others as they were and not who I thought they should be.  I could either ask why someone didn’t like me or ask why does it bother me that they don’t?  I had to accept that their opinions were as valid as my own.

What do you need to accept in your life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Don’t Want to Hear It . . .

Denial.  We’ve all had a case of denial, I can guarantee there is something in your life that you haven’t wanted to see, hear or admit to.  I’ve certainly been there.

In my life there have been things that I couldn’t see or didn’t want to see.  Things that I didn’t want to hear.  We know when our life isn’t going the way we wanted or expected it to, but denial can also be a way of making it through the day.

When I was about to turn 30, I knew my life wasn’t as I wanted it to be.  The things that I dreamed of hadn’t happened yet.  The reality was that it wasn’t someone else’s fault.  It was mine.  I wanted to blame someone else, but there wasn’t anyone else responsible for my choices.  I wanted someone else to come and save me, but I didn’t even want to save myself.  I didn’t want that to be the truth.  I wanted the truth to be that the timing was off or people couldn’t see who I truly was.  The truth was that I didn’t allow them to see me.  I didn’t let people close enough to see through the mask that I was wearing.  There are reasons why, but my past was impacting my present and my future.  I had to be willing to see the truth.  That was step 1.  Step 2 was more complicated, I had to look at it, examine it, and see it for what it truly was.  A clue.  That clue would lead me to change, but I had to be willing to act and do something different.  Is it easy?  No!  But it is worth it when you can see how your life has shifted.

I’m still a work in progress.  That’s part of life.  The challenges don’t stop because we want them to, but we can learn to adjust and face them head on.  We can examine them and let them go.

 What are you denying in your life right now?  What have you denied in the past?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Am Addicted To. . .

Addictions can be many things, but I tend to see them as coping mechanisms.  Most of us can see people becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol, but you can become addicted to almost anything that numbs you from an experience.

Growing up I knew that a lot of adults in our family had battled an addiction with alcohol so I knew that I should stay clear.  Plus, I didn’t care for the feeling of being drunk.  I grew up in the 80’s when the “Just Say No” campaign was in full swing, so I didn’t try drugs.  My maternal grandfather was diagnosed with emphysema, so I had no desire to even smoke.  So, what is my addiction of choice, do you say?  I have a sugar addiction.  I use sugar to numb the pain of life.  I have used it to boost my energy levels or just get through the day.  The issue with this type of addiction is that sugar is in almost every food that we eat.  I have no desire at this stage in my life to make everything from scratch, I have to learn to work around it.  Some days are better than others.

Think about it.  I’m sure that you can tell me one thing that you’re addicted to.  It may be coffee.  And why do you drink coffee every day?  It gives you the energy you need to make it through the day.

When we aren’t carrying around our past baggage, our energy levels naturally increase, and we can make it through the day without our vice of choice.  The addition may even naturally disappear.  But, if the addiction re-presents itself, your energy levels have most likely dropped.  The drop in energy levels can mean that you’re avoiding something.  The only way to truly change your life is to experience the pain.  When sugar comes back into my life, I know that I’m avoiding something.  It doesn’t necessarily make it easier to tackle, but it’s time to start peeling away the layers and begin the feeling process.

What emotions don’t you want to experience?  Why don’t you want to confront them?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Fear of Change

Transitions are hard.  You know it and I know it.  We know life shouldn’t be this way, but it has been like this for so long we don’t know any other way.  Having the courage to make a change, can be a challenging first step to make, even when we know it is the right one.

I have spent most of my life living in fear.  Fear was an emotion that had a certain amount of comfort to it.  I had my first seizure before the age of 1.  We learned as I was growing up that they acted as a circuit breaker.  When I had a rapid temperature change, I would have a seizure.  Many people that I have spent time around have never seen a seizure.  My grandmother once handed me back to my mom when I started to have one.  For a small child, it seemed that people were fearful of me.

As I grew up, I felt a responsibility to show people that a person can live with seizures.  Wherever I worked, people knew about my disorder, but I also wanted to keep that part of my life separate.  I never wanted them to see me have a seizure and I didn’t want them to be afraid of that part of me.  Members of my immediate family had seen me have them and still loved me for me, but could other people?

One Friday morning I forgot to take my pills.  I remember making it into the office and most of the rest of the day is gone.  I have only a few memories and those that I do have are spotty.

I went back to work that Monday.  Whether my co-workers felt this or not, I’m not entirely sure, but it felt like they were afraid of me.  I tried to be the person that I was before, but they had seen a part of me they couldn’t unsee.  At that moment my work life started to unravel.

The fear of that moment led to other decisions.  Fear had taken hold a part of my life, the part that I felt I had under control.  I knew that things were different for so many reasons.  But I couldn’t figure a way out.  It took another 18 months for things to end and for a new opportunity to begin.

Deep down I knew that I didn’t belong there anymore.  So many signs presented themselves to me, but I couldn’t pull the trigger and take the necessary steps.  I reverted to my coping mechanism of choice.  I withdrew.  I kept to myself and put one foot in front of the other, but my heart wasn’t there, and those around me knew it.

For many of us we need help making this change.  In my case, I needed to be let go from my job.  Then another fear of what am I going to do now sets in?  I was fortunate.  I was able to put the pieces together relatively quickly.  I learned from my coaching calls that there is only way to get over fear and that is to move through it.   I have taken more chances in the last 11 months, then I did in the preceding 37 years.

This doesn’t mean that fear isn’t present in my life, but I have learned there is more to life than fear.  It can be used to guide us on to new and better things.  Sometimes we need to see our own lives from a different perspective.  My life now is all about helping people to see their lives with fresh eyes.  We can’t change our past, but we change the story we tell ourselves.  Every day is a new opportunity.  You may need to make a conscious choice to take that first step, but it gets easier over time.

What story in your life do you want to shift?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Hasn’t It Happened Yet?

Patience.  One of those lessons that can be challenging to learn.  We live in a society today where instantaneous results are expected.  It should have been done five minutes ago, but life doesn’t work that way.  There is more involved than our wants.

It is October here in Maine. The leaves are starting to fall, and the temperatures have dropped, but we don’t typically expect Nor’easters to happen yet.  They normally involve snow and large amounts of wind.  Last week we had one that involved rain and large amounts of wind.  More than 170,000 people lost power in southern Maine.  Living on a main route that has elderly housing on one side and a university on the other typically means we are near the top of the list when power outages occur.  Other than the Ice Storm of 1998 when we lost power for around 72 hours, we normally lose it for only about six hours, tops.  During this storm we lost power at 4:30 in the morning.  Just in time to wreck havoc on a morning routine.  My morning routine typically involves an exercise routine, a smoothie made with fruits and vegetables, and a shower.  Without power, I couldn’t do my cooler weather exercise routine which requires a television, to make my smoothie I needed a blender, and I guess I could have had a cold shower, but who wants one of those?  I started out by throwing myself a small pity party and hoping that the power would instantly come back on.  It didn’t.  I was going to have to be patient, but what did I do in the meantime?  My place of part-time employment had power, so I could spend my day at a place with electricity, something many others didn’t have.  I could go to the grocery store and buy a smoothie (something I would probably only do in a pinch in the future, they aren’t really filling).  I could walk a lot at work and I didn’t have to take a shower.  I got dressed and off I went. 

When I came home that night.  What to do?  I got ready for bed while we still had daylight.  Played cards and went to bed at 8:45. I hoped and set the intention the power would be on the next morning.  It wasn’t.  I went through my new routine again, but I went somewhere else to get my smoothie.  Just before leaving work that night the power came back on. 

Many storylines in my life right now require patience.  This is one of the simplest.  There are so many things at play.  In this case it seemed the places that lost power are the ones that typically don’t and many were the high priority areas.  So like many things in life another’s needs and actions were involved.  We can’t override another’s freewill with our manifestations.  Two.  Divine timing is at play.  A lesson was involved that needed to be learned.  Flexibility may have been a part of it for me.  The need to not be so entirely dependent on routines.  A reminder to be grateful for something as simple as electricity.  All these items needed to be acknowledged before power could be restored.  And three.  I wasn’t alone.  So many other people were in the same position at that moment.

These three lessons can be applied to so many situations.  I can think of multiple others going on in my life at this very moment.  I’m sure you can think of many as well.  They say patience is a virtue for a reason.  It’s something that we all need even at the happiest of times, but most of us don’t have an abundance of it on an everyday basis.

We want what we want, and we want it now.  Instant gratification.  We want to see the results of the actions we take.  We don’t want to wait for days or years to see our intentions made manifest.  There have been so many times where something looks right and feels right, but hasn’t happened yet.  Why?  Maybe the timing is off.  Maybe there is something else to be learned.  Maybe there is another reason.  Those don’t always matter to us in that moment, but they should.

As I have developed my intuitive skills, the lessons come through quicker.  It no longer takes years to discover the lesson.  My patience and dedication have paid off in that area of my life.  Remember to apply patience to all areas of life.  It is an important and valuable skill on life’s journey.

What areas of life do you need more patience?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Are You Trying to Tell Me?

Is there something in your life that Spirit seems to use repeatedly to get your attention?  For me, Spirit seems to use my car.

The first time I had a psychic reading my grandfather used my car to get my attention and deliver me a message.  This week Spirit used my car again.  I have a 2011 Subaru Impreza.  I LOVE my car.  It was time to get my car inspected, but it also needed an oil change, there was a service recall and my rear brake light was out.  Most of what I needed done was covered by the dealership for free, but the rear brake light had me a little concerned.  It could be as simple as a bulb or it could be a more in-depth fix.  I asked Spirit to not have it cost more than I had made from helping at the Enlightenment Expo.  It ended up being a bulb, simple fix and inexpensive, but when I set up my manifestation, I forgot to ask Spirit to have my car pass inspection.

Several months ago, I was driving back from a friend’s house and was stopped at an intersection.  The car in front of me turned right.  I looked left and right and left again.  I stepped on the gas to turn right and bam.  The car that I thought had turned right had turned and stopped.  It had been sitting right in my blind spot.  It got out and it didn’t look like any damage had been done to his car and mine appeared to be minimal.  The next day I looked, my front bumper had cracked, but it still didn’t look bad.  What I hadn’t realized until my car was being inspected was that my passenger side headlight assembly had broken and the bottom of it was missing.  Plus, my cracked bumper wasn’t passable.  Both needed to be fixed for my car to pass inspection and I needed to get the repairs done soon.  My brakes were currently passable, but if I waited too much longer, the brake pads would need to be replaced too.  The total cost for repairs would be more than $1,000.  What do I do? My manifestation was limited because I focused on what I thought was wrong.  It was going to cost me a lot more than I had made.  I know nothing about cars.  The service advisor said to call them back and let them know how I wished to proceed.  They would need to order the parts.

While I was at the dealership, I was reading Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo.  One of her recommendations was to say that when making a decision repeat “Everything Is Figureoutable”.  I repeated that mantra as I drove back.  I decided to speak with my parents.  My paternal grandfather was an auto mechanic and my dad had worked with him for a little bit.  My dad searched the internet and found I could a new headlight assembly for $131 as opposed to the $328 it was going to cost me at the dealership, plus he could install it, which would have cost another $128.  He started watching YouTube videos on hot to repair a cracked bumper.  I purchased the new headlight assembly and it was delivered the next day.

I only drove my car to and from my part-time job and set aside 2 days in my schedule so that he could do the repairs.  I set the intention that it would only take a day. 

On my way home from work that Saturday I picked up some rear turn lights, but I also needed one for the front.  They couldn’t find anything for me to purchase, but they had some out of the package that I could have for free.  Score!

On Sunday my parents worked on my car.  They installed the new headlight assembly and took off the bumper.  They repaired my bumper and replaced my turn signals.  My early afternoon my car was done.  Monday morning, I went back to the dealership to see if I could get my car inspected again.

So, what did I learn?  One.  I asked for help.  I had people who wanted to help me, but I need to ask for it.  Two.  I got another opinion.  I knew this wasn’t an area that I had any experience in.  I needed to brainstorm ideas with someone else and get a different perspective on my problem.  There was another solution I needed help to find out though.  Three.  I had to trust that everything was going to work out.  The fear kept trying to creep in that my brakes were going to fail.  I had to keep resetting myself and know that everything was going to turn out ok.  Four.  I needed spiritual help.  I didn’t have an appointment at the garage, and if I tried to make one it would be two weeks before I could get back in.  I sent spiritual runners ahead to make sure everything would work out.  I needed the person that had completed the inspection to be working to complete it.  I wanted my brakes to be ok and to not need anymore work then what had been laid out.

The end of the story is that my car passed inspection a week later than expected.  The technician was there.  I followed my intuitive guidance and got it done.  It cost me less than $150 to get my car fixed as opposed to more than $1,000.  My car doesn’t look perfect.  I have red primer on the passenger side of my bumper, but it is drivable and passed inspection.  My car is 9 years old.  I don’t love it any less than I did a week ago.  It isn’t perfect, but it does get me where I need to go.  What more can you ask for?

How can you look at a challenge from a different perspective?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Celebrate Life

We have a lot to learn in this world but specifically about death.  We have a hard time letting people go.  And then there is the mourning and grief process.  For some people they’re able to move forward, and for others they dwell in their grief for years.

My first exposure to death was when I was 17.  People in my family had died over the years, but I didn’t really know them.  This was the first time I knew the person.  I was close with my Papa Paul.  I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without him, but at the end of his life he wasn’t truly able to live.  He could no longer read and had trouble taking tape off a present.  We had his funeral during the Ice Storm of 1998.  There was no electricity at our house or the funeral home.  The minister needed a flashlight to read his notes.  My first experience with the grieving process was unique, but I have come to realize that the process of funerals and memorial services are as the unique as the person themselves.  I watched my grandmother during the funeral.  She had lost her husband of 57 years and the word that has always come to mind is stoic.  I never saw her cry.  She soldiered on.  I learned that you soldier on.

My most recent experience with death happened only a few weeks ago.  My Aunt Louise was 96 years old and had been in and out of the hospital.  Her family asked for prayers.  I prayed that if it was in her highest and best good for her to stay that she stay, if it wasn’t for her to have a peaceful transition to the other side.  She was with us only a few more days.  She was like another grandmother to me growing up.  She had always been there.  She was there to guide us and support us as she had so many others.  But it was her time to go.  I posted a message on Facebook in tribute to her.  I received a multitude of condolence messages.  I knew that she was in a better place.  Aunt Louise was a person that deserved to be recognized in death with praise that she didn’t need in life.  As we have done many times over the years, we gathered.  When most of your relatives pass in their 80s and 90s, you learn to celebrate their lives.  We told stories and laughed.  There were some tears, but she wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad.  She had accomplished everything that she had set out to do.  She was welcomed to the other side by a pack of dogs and the family members that had passed before her.  Her journey was complete.

Death is an opportunity to pause and reflect.  What do you admire?  Where are you off your life path?  I cannot speak to the death of a spouse or child because that isn’t something that I have experienced.  Longevity runs in my family.  I am one of the fortunate ones.  I have had the privilege of getting to know all four of my grandparents and their siblings.  I got to know who they were and while I miss their physical existence, I know they are around me.  I still have my own journey to pursue.

Death is one of the few certainties of life.  We have an opportunity to view things differently.  We can still communicate with our loved ones, but we may need a translator.  They communicate with us in our everyday lives.  During my aunt’s reception, the lights flickered.  Her and our extended family was with us in spirit.  They are still part of our journey but are no longer part of our physical world.

How do you view death?  Do you celebrate their legacy?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Time For Happiness Is Now

Are you happy?  For most people the answer is no.  You may he happy in an area of your life, but overall the answer is no.  The decisions that you’ve made in your life have led you to this point.  The decisions can be due to believing it’s the right decision or being afraid to make a different one.

Fear of the unknown is a reason that people remain stuck in their lives.  The known even if it causes discomfort is better than the path not yet taken.  But the planetary energies are pushing us on to this new path.  What might have felt right at one time has lost its appeal, or is becoming more difficult to maintain.  Spirit will keep triggering us until we make the change.

Most of my life I didn’t like change.  Dread might be a better word.  For me, change seemed to involve the people I loved dying and dreams not turning out as I expected.  Even when I stepped on the spiritual path taking the leap on to the unknown was difficult.  Even having multiple psychics tell me I could do this took a while to comprehend.  I had already started down a path that I desperately wanted to work.  I would work harder and keep trying.  It had to work.  The problem was while that concept worked for some people, it didn’t for me.  The reason it wasn’t my path.  It was a lesson that I needed to learn as I walked my path.  Taking the leap on to my path was terrifying and challenging, but with a bit of excitement.  I needed a push on to it or maybe a shove.  Without it, I might still be working on the lesson.  We all have our reasons for staying put, but we are sent to this world for a reason.  We can make a difference if we have the courage to be our authentic selves and not who we think we should be.

So how did I overcome the fear to change?  I started to work through it.  I worked on the beliefs that I had learned over the years.  I cast away the story that I told myself about why I was unhappy and started to write a new one.  The fear to change is still there, but it has been muted.  It reactivates the next time I make an uncomfortable change, but it has lessened. 

As of this moment, I’m not where I believe I’m meant to be.  But I’m happier now working multiple jobs, putting the pieces together, and trying to figure out what my gifts are, and how to incorporate those into my new business, than I was playing it safe and following the path I thought I was meant to follow.

When it comes down to it we have so little time on this planet called Earth.  We have hopes and dreams, but are afraid to start following them until we feel safe and secure.  Then and only do we feel it’s possible to do what we love.  What if I told you there is another way?  It may mean having multiple jobs, like me, but the time to act is now.  Only by walking through the fear can you begin to feel happy in your life.  Act.  It may be something small or jumping off the cliff, but either one will start the process of catapulting you into a new life.  Take the leap.  Do you need help?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Enough!

When do you raise up your hands and say enough?  I give up!  Well that depends on two things: do you need to surrender to the will of the universe or is it time to give up?  The answer requires that you tap into yourself.  Only you can answer that question.  That is what makes this question so challenging.

So what do you do?  I can’t answer for you, but I ask myself the question, do I want this?  It may bring up fear.  Is it a good fear or an exciting fear?  It may feel like dread.  That is when I know that it’s time to do something different, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy.  It can take a while to wrap your head around how to proceed.

If I’m honest with my myself, I knew that it was time to leave my job before I was forced to leave in January.  My heart was no longer invested, but I needed time to decide on my steps.  I thought I had time to figure that out, but in my case the clock was ticking.  I had to figure out my next steps afterwards, but one thing was certain, that part of my life was over and it felt right.  Nine months later I don’t regret my decision to go in a new direction.  My new direction is hard and challenging, but it is exciting.  I know deep in my heart that it is the right decision.  Now I need to surrender to the timing and will of the universe.  This past week signs that the energy is moving in a new direction have started to show up.  People are asking about my new business.  It has been almost five months since I launched my business.  I had to demonstrate my commitment to what I know is right, and that I made the right decision in moving my life in a new direction.  Someday soon I will wake up and begin to see the results of my commitment.  The timing isn’t right yet.

I apply this same practice to making decisions about other matters, including my personal life.  Those have been more challenging.  The challenging part of the process is that we can want something so badly it can be hard to see straight.  Something can feel absolutely and totally right, but the timing isn’t.  We can have an idea of the course we will chart, but we must surrender to the outcome.  Surrendering is hard and it is a process that sometimes you will need to do over and over again.  I find that that every time I go through the process tears are involved.  There is an emotional component and limiting beliefs that need to be faced.  These are the actions that I’m taking to show my commitment to being a more empowered person.  The universe responds to action and commitment.

What decisions are you making now?  What is your process for deciding when it is time to give up or surrender?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.