Let Go of the Past and Step into a New Life

When you first start out on the spiritual path, you are taught that if you are grateful and positive you will start a new life.  While part of that is true, there is one problem.  You are a human being.  That human being has memories and emotions stored within the body.  In order to be truly grateful and to manifest a life that is for highest and best good, you must go backwards.

You have a story.  It is a story that is repeated.  It can be a story that you tell yourself, or one that you see appear in front of you.  But that story is what is holding you back.  To get where we want in life, we must first confront our story.

For years I did the positivity thing and would state affirmations.  While they changed my outlook on life, they didn’t change the outcome of my life.  I still wore a mask.  I wasn’t myself.  I had the story on repeat in my head.  I would look at other people and compare how my life was and the perception that I had of them.  I didn’t measure up and there was a why even try type of attitude.

In January I signed up for a coaching certification program and started working on the course work.  As I listened to coaching call after coaching call, I had an epiphany.  Each woman that I listened to sounded like me.  There were slight variations in their story, but they were each relatable.  I could always find something in common with them.  Like me, some of them tried to hide the problems with their life, but their problems would follow them.  They would leave one job and the problem would follow them to a new job.  They would leave one relationship to have some of the same issues present themselves in the next relationship.  Their problems didn’t just disappear, they presented in a new form.   In order to truly move forward and live an empowered life you must examine your past.  Whether it is the past in this lifetime or another lifetime.  It will follow you until you release what is stored in your body.  The body doesn’t lie. 

Take a moment and think about the reasons that you have left jobs or relationships.  Do they have a common theme?  These themes are trying to provide us clues.  Once we start to examine the clues, we truly start to create the change that we are searching for.  Let’s release that story that no longer serves you and who you are meant to be.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Presence is Now

Living in the present moment should be easy, right?  I won’t speak for you, but for me it has always been a challenge.  I tend to dwell about the past, and look to what I want to happen, or be different in the future, instead of living in the moment. 

Why do I do that?  I haven’t quite figured out yet, except it is a problem that most people have, and I’m sure that you have experienced yourself.  We tend to not experience life from the present moment.   You want to know the answer before you have experienced the question.  You read a book, and you want to flip to the end to find out the ending.  But the key to making real change in your life is to live in the moment.

I have a good memory, which I have said to multiple people can be both a blessing and a curse.  One of the few times that my memory fails me is when I have a seizure.  To give further background of my seizure disorder, I saw a neurologist when I was a child.  In last week’s post, I went into some details about how my seizure disorder effected me as a child, now for the adult side.  My neurologist had said that my seizure disorder would probably return as an adult, but he couldn’t state in what form.  Seizures tend in be cyclical and hormonally based, so there are different onset periods.  I missed the one when I hit puberty, but I hit the one as I was moving into my 20’s.  As a child, I had grand mal seizures.  These are the types of seizures that everyone thinks of when they think of seizures.  As an adult, I was diagnosed with absence seizures.  I would space out for a few moments, and then my consciousness would return.  Looking back now, I can’t say for certain that being presented with those circumstances at that time that I would do anything different with them.  But what do I do next?  I went to a new neurologist.  Of course, what is next?  Tests.  I had to have an EEG where they make you stay up all night and then tape suction cups to your head.  They want you to fall asleep without moving and sitting up in a chair.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type of person that can sleep on command.  I’ve had this test a couple of times, and it has come to the point where they give me something to help me fall asleep.  I still can’t sleep during the test, but at least I’m somewhat relaxed.  During one test I still hadn’t fallen asleep several hours after the test was complete.  I guess sleep medication and I aren’t compatible.

The second test that they ordered was an MRI.  They wanted to make sure that there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain.  I went to have the MRI and the technician said that it would take an hour and a half, but if I moved during the test it would blur the images, and I might have to come back.  No way was I going to do that again.  The technician taped my head down to the table so that I could feel if I moved too much.  Luckily, I have only had to do this test once.   The neurologist said there was nothing structurally wrong with my brain and that it was normal.  My boss at the time said that couldn’t possibly be true and I should have a second opinion.  Funny guy.  So, I received my diagnosis and they put me on medication.  The medication would help my mind to not wander, but the medication presented a new obstacle.  If I forgot to take it, I could have a grand mal seizure.  This has happened to be a couple of times over the years. 

So, what does all of this have to do with living in the present moment?  According to Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”, seizures are about “[r]running away from the family, from the self, or from life.”  So, at 19, what was going on.  You could say that I was running away from myself or from life.  I didn’t know how to be me.  It should be one of the simplest things to do, but I had forgotten how.  I would look at other people’s lives and could imagine myself in their place.  I wasn’t living my life; I was moving through the motions.  I would go to work and school.  Hang out with friends.  And repeat.  I would look forward to the day when things would change, but they didn’t start to change until I did.

Now I mentioned earlier that the medication has caused me to have a couple of grand mal seizures if I forget to take my medication.  I can look at these times and the memory loss drives me crazy because I lose a few moments before, and my complete memory doesn’t come back until I have slept.  The connections in my brain reform while I sleep, but what about the between time.  I exist.  I typically remember my name but holding conversations and answering questions is challenging.  My memory exists in snapshots.  I have one memory and I have another one two hours later.  I will never be able to fill in all the pieces.  What I have come to realize is that while it drives me crazy to not have all the pieces, I am better off.  When I have had a seizure, it forces me to live in the moment.  Now I wouldn’t say that I purposely forget to my medication so that I can live in the moment.  That would be stupid of me.  But in that time frame I am in that moment and only in that moment.  There is no past and there is no future.  There is only now.  That moment teaches me so much about how to live life. 

We manifest the life that we want when we can act from the present; when we have released our past and are not constantly looking to the future.  That is what having seizures have taught me.  How are you doing at living in the present moment?  Is there something that happens that forces you to be in the moment?  Remember we are all a work in progress.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Don’t Need Your Help!

As a society we are taught that you should be able to do it all yourself.  If you can’t do it yourself, then you are a failure.  But here’s the thing, none of us can do it all ourselves. 

Everyone needs help every now and then, sometimes even more than we realize. What is wrong with us asking for help?  It goes against everything that we are taught.  We are taught that we should be self-sufficient.  We should be able to do it all, especially as women.  We are taught that we can have a full-time job and a family without help from anyone.  That isn’t true.  We all need to be supported, especially when we are making drastic changes.

Most of my life I have felt that it was unacceptable to ask for help.  I needed to be able to take care of it all myself in order to be successful.  All of life’s answers could be found in a book, or if you tapped way down inside yourself, you could find the answer.  While that may be true to a certain extent, I also found that everyone experiences life through a different lens, and that alternative lens can be extremely useful in helping you to move forward.  It may be that you work with a teacher who can help you to learn a new skill that will take you to new places.  It could be working with a coach or therapist to guide you on your journey through these dark places to a place where the world seems lighter.  I have tried both approaches and you know what?  I was able to move quicker when I asked for help.  Whether it was a teacher or a coach, they were able to see things from a perspective that no matter how hard I tried I wasn’t in that place.  It also provided me with someone that I was accountable to.  I had to demonstrate to someone that I had done the work.  I couldn’t keep kicking the can down the road because something more important came up.  I was truly able to work on myself in a more efficient manner.

We are all a work in progress.  There is never going to be a moment where you are “cured”, but there is a moment that you accept your humanness and no longer let those fears hold you back.  You can ask for help and know that you are doing the best you can.  And you know what?  Everything will be ok.  The world isn’t going to cave in on you because you can’t do everything that you would like.  You can only do what is important to you. 

Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.  How can I help you to make a change?

Shadows and Dreams


Happy Independence Day weekend here in the United States!  It seems like there has been a lot going on in the physical world and the energetic world.  Plus, here in Maine it finally started to feel like summer.

We are amid the eclipse portal.  The second eclipse is on July 16.  Everything is energetically heightened right now.  I don’t know about you, but all my shadow triggers are rising to the surface.  I have had to spend time energetically cutting cords to my past and releasing my fears.

We are halfway though the year.  It is time for a midpoint review.  It is an opportunity to look at things with a new perspective.  Where are you in relation to you dreams?  As I have previously mentioned, my year began with a bang.  The structure that I have spent the last 15 years building detonated around me.  It came crashing to the ground with a giant thud.  I lost my job and spent several days thinking about my next chapter.  What did I want to be in my new beginning?  I had a clean slate.  I could do anything I wanted.  I spent some time looking at new careers, but nothing sparked my interest, like a Facebook Live featuring Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette.  I had also been taking classes to raise my consciousness with Marisa Moris over the last year.  I soon decided there was never going to be a better time to chase a new dream.  I got my Reiki Master training with Elemental Energies with Chris Ann & Jeff and laid the groundwork.  I set up a new business.  I built my website and on April 30, I officially launched my business.  It hasn’t been easy, and I am clearing triggers constantly, but when I’m doing sessions with people it doesn’t feel like work.  I am on my path,

What has been coming to the surface for you?  What are your dreams?  Are you living them?  Let me help you to create your dream life.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.  How can I help you to claim your dreams?

What Am I Feeling?

Have you felt all the crazy energy lately?    It is not getting easier any time soon.  The eclipses are coming in July (One is on July 2 and the other on July 16).  Eclipses are a time to re-examine your life, with a nudge or even a push.  Maybe a shove.

2019 has been all about examining the past and moving forward.  We are being pushed to look at things differently.  You can see it all around you including in our political system.  The reality around you is shifting.  You can’t go back to what was because that reality doesn’t exist anymore.

My previous reality completely altered in January with the loss of my job.  I have been forced to examine every belief about myself and those around me.  What does it mean to not have a 9 to 5 job?  What has been holding me back from living the life of my dreams?  How have I contributed to my current life? 

I go for a walk every morning to help clear myself and this past week have had so much trouble staying present and grounded in my body.  I have been walking around barefoot to stay grounded.  Luckily, I haven’t stepped in anything gross like dog pee.  Last summer I had the same problem.  I sat under a tree for hours and dug my feet into the dirt during the eclipses.  I have a feeling you may see me doing that again if you drive by my house.

When you are experiencing these intense energies, you must do whatever you can to stay grounded and protected.  What are you doing to help you?  Make sure that you take time for yourself.  Stay grounded, protected and move forward.  Do you need help?  Click here to book an appointment.

My Body Is Talking to Me?

Everything that happens in life, good or bad, reflects our inner life.  What does that mean?  We create our own reality.  Our body and our world are mirrors of what we feel and experience.  If we pay attention to the mirrors, we can change our life.

Let’s say you have gout; it could be a sign of unresolved anger.  Vision problems can be an inability to see what is in front of you.  Back problems could be a lack of support.  All ailments have a meaning.  Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” is a great starting point.  It may not mean to you what it means to someone else.  That’s ok.  We can all interpret things in different ways.  Maybe you are triggered by what someone says to you on a regular basis.  All of these are clues.  If you follow the clues, you could end up with a new life.  If you don’t follow the clues, they don’t go away, they just get louder.

In my own story, I have been following the clues for a while now, but they don’t heal overnight.  My eyesight is terrible.  I can’t see what is right in front of my face without my glasses or contact lenses.  In 5th grade, when I first got glasses, you could say I was naïve.  I believed that friendships would last forever, and people wouldn’t hurt you.  It took another year before I started to see.  I had always assumed that when school started, I would walk together with my friends, as we had the previous year.  One of my friends began to play mind games with me.  I couldn’t get an answer as to what time we would meet, or maybe she would walk with someone else.  I have always liked to have a plan and school was starting in a couple of days.  I told her my plan and figured that I would still walk to school with my other friend.  That night, I found out that wasn’t happening either.  I wound up walking by myself, but she knew my plan.  We would meet at the traffic light, with her walking either ahead of me or behind me.  She would talk with several girls loud enough so I could hear what they were saying about me.  This practice was repeated on the way home from school.  Once home I would cry to my mom and do it all over again the next day.  This happened for two and a half months.  I finally snapped.  I hit her with a binder and took off running.  I told my mom when I got home, but it was different this time.  Her mother called.  I was to blame.  Her daughter would never do anything like that.  By the time I went to bed that night I had also lost my other friend.  I didn’t ever want to be hurt like that again, so I hid.  I didn’t just hide for a day.  I hid for years.  I didn’t feel like engaging with the world until I was in 8th grade.  My vision continued to get worse.  I couldn’t see all the people who I could be friends with.  I could only see the potential hurt. 

Today I still have terrible vision and wear contact lenses, but my prescription has stabilized.  I still run through what don’t I see.  I have some ideas, but that is for another time.  I am a work in progress and always will be.  My body and mirror have other lessons to teach me.  Is there something that you can’t see?  What is your body trying to tell you?  When did you notice a problem in your life?  Follow the clues.  You can either be your own detective or I can help you.  Click here to book an appointment.

Am I Awake or Asleep?

The process of awakening can be both easy and difficult at the same time.  It has a lot to do with you.  Me?  Yes, you.  How could it be based on me?  We all have certain beliefs about the metaphysical world or as my Dad calls it the “woo woo” world.

We all move forward and slide back on our path to becoming enlightened.  The energies of the world today make it harder and harder to stay asleep.  The spiritual world is forcing you into a new reality.  One that you can either surrender to or go into kicking and screaming.

The awakening process could involve an illness or a question of why does my life seem so hard?  For me, it was the latter.  I had spent my life trying to be someone who I wasn’t.   It took me a while to start and put the pieces together because I no longer knew who I was.  I had lost my identity.  I started to read self-help books.  One of the first books, if not the first, was “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.  Total game changer and if you haven’t read yet, I urge you too.  I began to look at everything as a sign and something to peel away from allergies to ear infections, to back pain, to excess weight.  More than six years later, I am still peeling away the layers.  But, as I uncovered more, I began to tackle the question of “Who Am I?”  I started to dabble in astrology and numerology.  These gave me clues, but it wasn’t until this year that everything started to click.  I lost my job in January and had a chance to decide who I wanted to be in this next phase of my life.  The old me wasn’t there anymore and working in immigration law, while it helped people, didn’t seem to fit me anymore.  I watched a Facebook Live with Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette that changed the direction of my life.  This was only 2 days after losing my job!  I had studied different modalities but didn’t know how to combine everything.  This was my answer.  Coaching was something that had come relatively easy to me over the years, but I didn’t really know anything about the industry.  So, I took a leap and signed up for a coaching certification program.  Through that program, my life began to change.  Things didn’t move as quickly as I would have liked, but they began to progress.  Synchronicity began to happen.  I met new people who took me in new directions.  Some of the old people feel away.  They weren’t a part of my new journey and others were inspired by what I was doing and decided to come along for the ride.  Today I am not the same person that rang in 2019.  When that flow happens, you are on your soul path.

My process was not quick and yours probably won’t be either.  Where are you in your process?  Are you starting or further along?  The journey to awakening matches you.  There is no right or wrong answer.  It is what it is.  It is as unique as you.  If you would like my help in your process, click here to book an appointment.

Where am I?

Have you ever felt lost?  I would be surprised if you haven’t.  Everyone has felt lost at one time or another.  A time where I don’t quite know what’s wrong, but how did I end up here?  Life is a series of choices that are made and sometimes can take us so far from what was intended.  Those choices are trying to show us something, but we must be willing to pay attention.  It is challenging to try and look at things from a new perspective and see that maybe we had a hand in where we have ended up.  It is hard to admit that maybe you have been wrong.  That maybe you couldn’t see something that was right in front of you.

I first began my journey towards the spiritual side of life when I went to the Enlightenment Expo in Portland, Maine in May of 2013.  It had been suggested that I go, and I figured why not, I didn’t have other plans that day and I really could use a new direction.  I was at a job where I wasn’t happy, I didn’t have a romantic partner in my life, and nothing seemed to be going the way that I wanted.  I started to look for answers.  I started going to events and opened myself up to new ideas.  I had a numerology reading at one of them where she told me that I could be working at one sometime.  My response was, “yeah right”.  I had that conversation with two additional psychics over the years before I finally started to hear what I was being told.  Synchronicity began to flow.  I met the people I needed to meet so that I could learn to open up.  Spirit has a way of directing you even if we don’t want to hear it.

What aren’t you seeing or hearing?  Do you feel lost right now? Is there something right in front you that you can’t see?

Changes means what?

The first step is always hard.  Whether it’s a new venture, a new relationship or making small changes.  Change is a challenge for so many of us, myself included.  I fought change for years for fear that decisions that I had made were wrong or were in some way a reflection of failing. 

For about eight years, each year I experienced the death of a family member who I was close to and the process of constantly being in grief was exhausting.  But light appeared in 2011 with the birth of my eldest nephew.  This new birth was a welcome change.  I now realize that not all change is bad.  The changes that we see as negative tend to be the ones that don’t follow the course we had planned; the ones that seem to be thrust upon us, that give us no opportunity to make a choice about. 

What are you unhappy about in your life now?  Do you feel like you can do something different and change your reality?  Is there a small change you can make so that you feel more in charge, which could lead you to feel more empowered?  When we feel more empowered, changes are welcome.  Something seemingly small can lead to bigger changes.  Is there something small that you can change?

Spring, New Beginnings and a Step

It is officially Spring.  Well, so it began in the middle of March officially, but the snow is melting, hopefully and Spring is underway.  The flowers are blooming, the days are longer, and a time for seeking new beginnings is here. 

For some of us, new beginnings seek us out.  This is my first official post as the owner of SoulHeart Intuitive Coaching.  My new beginning started in January, when the universe pushed me in a new direction and forced me to change direction in a way that I was unsure about.  My career path of 10 years came to an end and an authentic life path began.  Within days, synchronicity flowed and I paid attention to my intuition.  I was led to an empowerment coaching certification program.  A month later, a business course began to help me to set up my business.  Synchronicity at work.  A few weeks went by and I became a Reiki Master and completed a course of healing with Lemurian crystals.  Another week and I initiated a business manifestation class and an astrology class dealing with Life Purpose.   See the flow? A lot has happened within such a short time it can make a person’s head spin. 

What are you thinking with the coming of Spring?  Has the universe been pushing you into a new direction?  Where are you being guided?  There so many options it can be challenging at times.  Take several deep breaths.  What do you want to achieve during this time of new beginnings?