Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

What makes an individual beautiful?  I can’t answer that question for you.  Only you can answer.  Beauty is different for every individual.

Our world is obsessed with outer beauty.  We all want to be considered attractive.  Growing up we idolize movie stars and models, who seem to be the epitome of beauty and success.  They seem to have it all, looks and money, but what if beauty is something else?  What if doing the inside work is just as important as the outside.

We spend so much time making sure that our hair and makeup look perfect before we leave the house.  You’re not alone, I’m right there with you!  There are many times where I haven’t left the house without my make-up on, especially before the pandemic.  Since the pandemic began there are many days where I don’t wear make-up and I throw my hair up into a bun.  There are other things to do and it just seems to get in the way.  It’s not that there is no longer a concern about this, but it isn’t the only thing that seems to matter.  I still do the routine a lot of days and probably will do it more often in the future, post masks, but I’ve been focused on what’s going on in the inside.

The pandemic has presented us with an opportunity.  The chance to let our inner light shine.  To move past our past and traumas to let our power out.  We should strive to be beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.

Don’t forget about it!  It’s just as important, if not more so.  Your inner light creates confidence and self-esteem that enhances your outer beauty.

Have you paid attention to your inner beauty?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Becoming You

What if you aren’t who you thought you were?  Unfortunately, traumatic events can make us not want to be hurt again, so we start to hold a part of ourselves back.  We don’t show who we are and allow our authentic self to shine through.

Having spent a good portion of the last 9 years or so working through trauma has now led me to the point of I thought I knew who I was but there’s more.  I was looking at pictures and I found one from about the age of 4 that has always spoken to me.  What is it about that one picture?  I’m starting to think it’s my authentic self speaking to me.  Helping me.  Guiding me back to the person I’m meant to be.

Nothing that I’ve done has been for not.  It has led me to this point.  I could say the same thing to you.  Everything that you’ve done has led you to this point.  The question is what do you do next?  Do you continue to play it safe or step up?  How do you move forward?

Becoming who you were meant to be is challenging.  We can doubt ourselves and not know which way to go.  So what do we do?  There are variations for each of us.  I tend to take the big picture and break it down into small pieces.  You may jump right in.  Neither one is right nor wrong.  It’s all about who we are.

All these energies are forcing us to review our story.  Who have we been and who do we want to become?  Who are we?  What do we value?  Does our day-to-day life demonstrate what we value?  Maybe you’re reviewing this list of questions and decide that you’re good.  That’s great!  You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself to reach that place, but what if you’re not?  Becoming the person you’re meant to be can present it’s own challenges, but when you finally know who you are, there’s nothing better.

Who do you want to be? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Is This Your Best?

Are you doing the best you can right now?  If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about.  Growing up were you one of the kids whose parents accepted their grades if you did the best you could or the one whose parents expected perfection?

Perfection is a challenging trait to overcome.  It could have been ingrained in us by our parents or something we learned.   Either way striving to be perfect can prevent us from thriving in challenging circumstances.  Perfection can never be obtained.  Human beings aren’t perfect.  We’re flawed.  We have problems.  It’s our problems that teach us on this journey called life.

You could wake up in the morning and your plans could be completely blown apart by 9 am.  I’ve been there.  I bet you have too.  Things don’t always work out as we have planned.  Life can get in the way.  But, it’s ok.  Give yourself permission to say it’s ok.  If you did your best, then it’s ok.

For most of my life, I strove for perfection.  What did it get me?  I was never truly happy with myself.  I wanted to be better.  I would question everything that happened.  While I still do these things, my motive has shifted.  I want them to learn more.  I want to see myself grow.  I no longer want to use it as a mask for what others see.  However, I also know this is a process and I can’t change comfortably overnight.  The first thing I had to learn was that I was doing the best I could and to learn to be ok with that way of thinking.  It took me time.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing the best I can.

As a result, my self-confidence has gone up.  I feel better myself. I’ve tried things I never thought I would.  I’ve learned to care less about what others think of me.  I’ve given myself permission to do the best I can.  That’s the best thing somedays that any of us can do.

Are you doing the best you can?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Just Do It!

Nike’s “Just Do It!” campaign can apply to so much more then just buying sneakers.  It can be a major lesson on life and taking action. 

Taking action can feel like one of the most terrifying things to do at times.  But what happens if we don’t?  There are so many possibilities.  We don’t allow ourselves to grow.  We self-sabotage.  In so many ways, we let life pass us bye.  FYI, it doesn’t really pass us bye. 

Sabotaging ourselves doesn’t feel like that in the moment.  We’re afraid to take that step.  We’re not sure.  What will life look like on the other side?  It could make you different from your friends and/or family.  Whatever it may be could be stopping you from stepping into something you’ve dreamed of.

I know we’re still amid a pandemic and we aren’t supposed to leave our homes.  But what I’m talking about doesn’t necessarily require you to leave your home.  There are still ways you can act.  Action doesn’t have to mean an accomplishment of a major goal but could be small steps towards reaching a major goal.

Over the course of the last year, I have taken small steps to big goals.  I have been working on my empowerment coaching certification.  One call at a time.  I’m almost done!  But as I reach the finish line, that fear can creep back in.  What does it mean once I’m finished?  I don’t know the answer to that yet.  But so that I accomplish this, I have set small goals to finish my written examination.  It is an exam of 40 questions, 20 about the course and 20 about 3 of my calls.   I said that I’m going to work on it an hour per day.  I looked back through my notes and started piecing together the responses to the first 20 questions.  Then I drafted my responses.  This part I’ve now completed.  Next, go back and listen to my 3 calls.  Listen to one call per day and draft my responses as I go.  I plan on submitting the exam on April 30.  Some days I haven’t done anything, and you know what?  That’s ok!  I’m making progress.  I started at the beginning of April.  I gave myself plenty of time with the expectation that I might not want to work on it some days.  I told people about my deadline to hold myself accountable.  You’re part of that team as I near the finish line!  I broke my goal into small manageable pieces.  These are the same steps I took when starting my business.  I’ve found this process works for me.  Maybe it doesn’t work for you.  That’s ok too!  It’s about finishing a way forward to something you might not have done.

You might have started but not finished.  I have a lot of those too!  Someday I will check them off and find a way to complete them.  But one thing at a time.  I can always go back and work on them.  First, pick a goal and work through the fears that are going to creep in.  They always do.  It’s how we know we’re on the right track.  Second, break it down into small steps.  Third, come up with a deadline.  Fourth, tell someone.  Fifth, just do it. 

What’s your goal?  How are your fears holding you back?  What can you do to move forward?   Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

We live at a point in time where our daily life can be super uncomfortable.  Our security, our safety, and our level of comfort have been rocked.  We are being forced to live outside of our comfort zone and most of us don’t like it!  It’s one thing to make a choice to step outside of your comfort zone and make changes to your life, but it’s another to have those changes forced upon you.

None of us want to have decisions made for us.  We want to oversee our lives.  Living in a COVID-19 world, people are in pain.  People are dying.  People are drowning in debt.  People can’t pay their bills.  People don’t have food.  It can be challenging to see the positives and opportunities when we are just trying to survive.

For so many of us, right now is about surviving.  We’re trying to make it one day or pay one bill.  I know this can be hard to hear, but we might be missing what we need to learn.  COVID-19 is an opportunity for us to learn.  To make the hard decisions.

For years I lived in the dark.  I didn’t want to know what my problems were, I just wanted them to miraculously go away.  I didn’t care whether it was someone else coming to save me or my life just suddenly got better.  Either way was good.  I didn’t care how it happened.

Growing up I thought that certain things would happen at a certain point in my life.  For some they did, but for me, they didn’t seem to work out that way.  When I turned 30, I didn’t want to acknowledge that my life wasn’t what I had dreamed it would be.  The hardest question I ever asked myself was why.  Asking that question meant that I could no longer live my life in denial.  I had to take the leap out of my comfort zone.  That leap was one of the most terrifying things I had done.  Starting my own business last year was officially the most terrifying thing I have ever done.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable.

What you’re experiencing right now is a push out of your comfort zone and I’m right there with you.  I’ve been given another shove put of my comfort zone this past month.  My routine has been totally disrupted.  My income has been shaken up.  One of the hardest things that I had to do was overcome my pride and file for unemployment.  I had done everything right!  I had gotten a part-time job to help pay my bills while my business was getting established.  I stepped past my pride and had to have courage and trust that all would be ok.  The interesting thing is that by taking that leap I’m doing better than I was a month ago.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is.  I’m grateful that I’m doing better, but I also know that I’ve done a lot of work to get there.  There was no miracle cure.  No one came to save me.  It was me.  I had to do the work and take the leap.  My discomfort had to grow to the point that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I had reached my breaking point.  Congratulations!  You may have just reached yours.  Here comes the opportunity for you to say that I’m never going to be like this again and start to make different decisions.

How are you going to step out of your comfort zone?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Wish…

Desire.  Up the map we go to level 6.  Dr. Hawkins found that Desire vibrates at a level of 125.  Desire is where you find jealousy, comparing, and longing.  You can hear yourself say I want more, and I deserve more.

How often have you said that I can’t keep living this way?  You notice how everyone else is living their life and wish that you could have that in your life.  It could be about anything that you want in your life from the seemingly mundane to the life altering.  What do you wish you had?

For so many years growing up, I just wanted to be like everyone else.  I didn’t want to be different.  I didn’t want to be singled out.  I wanted what everyone else wanted.  I would move up into Desire and then slip back into Fear.  I wanted to make a change in my life, but did I truly want it.  Not enough apparently because I would remain in the dream state, but why would I do that?  The next level up from Desire is Anger.  I didn’t want to be an angry person.  So, I would fluctuate between Fear and Desire.  I would hope and dream and then my fears would swallow me up.  I couldn’t take that step.  I couldn’t completely walk through that door.  I had a desire to be like everyone else, but I couldn’t quite do it.  In this case it might be because I wasn’t meant to be like everyone else.  I would do it for a while, but a true part of me would come in and the illusion would be dashed.  I was meant to be me and my path forward in this life may have similarities to yours, but it varies.

Other examples, love.  I have longed and dreamed since I was a little girl to be a wife and have children.  I’m still single and have no children.  My fears couldn’t quite overcome my desire, until recently.  I’ve been working on my personal blocks that have led me to turn down dates for no seemingly good reason other than the idea of how could that person possibly like me.  I had to get angry and move up before I could start to become empowered.  I might still be single, but I’ve finally started to become confident in who I am as person.  My desire finally started to push me forward.  My desire started to outweigh my fear.

What do you desire in your life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.