Are You Being Judged?

Judgment is a challenging emotion, whether you are the one that is being judged or doing the judging.  With judgment, there tends to be a lower-level emotion associated with it, whether it be shame, guilt or blame.  If you’re feeling judged, why do you feel that way?
 
It could something as simple as having to ask a pharmacist for a test behind the counter and them giving you a look.  The person didn’t say anything, but the look in their eyes could have been the only thing that was needed to make you feel judged.  It’s normally bringing a feeling to the surface that you haven’t dealt with yet.  What’s the emotion that you need to work through?
 
On to the judgment of other people.  This one is a little more complicated.  You could be judging them for what are perceived as valid reasons.  You visit a company’s website and make the decision whether to work with them based upon what you see.  The judgments that you make may or may not be valid, but you could perceive them as being valid.  These types of judgments are made every day.  Not all judgment is bad.
 
The question for you, is what is the judgment trying to teach you?  Everything that happens is meant to teach you something.  Some big issues have been coming to the surface.  It’s time to begin the process of working through them.  So if you’ve felt judged or have judged someone else, begin to look at the reasons why. 
 
What has judgment been teaching you?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Endings are…

What do endings mean for you?  Are they happy, sad, or frustrating?  Maybe it depends on what the ending is.

If it is a death, it’s sad.  There’s the grieving process to go through and the realization that you have to find a new way forward.

There are break-ups.  Whether you are the one doing the breaking up, or the one left behind whether it be romantic or friendship.  All these factors can determine your reaction.  You may feel a sense of freedom or depression.

You could be moving.  You might be sad to be leaving one location and excited for the next chapter to begin.

There are so many different types of endings.  Endings normally involve change.  If the change is thrust upon you, you will have a different reaction to the one that you choose.

Every ending involves finding a way to have power over your life.  It’s ok to be sad, but it’s not ok to wallow in it.  You can express your emotions, and you should.  Emotions should always be let out. Don’t repress them for long periods of time.  The emotions that you’ve ignored will find a way of coming back.  It’s best to deal with them in the moment or shortly thereafter.  Set aside time to cry or be angry.  You’ll be happier that you did.

What types of endings are you experiencing in your life?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Hey! It’s Dark in Here!

Does it ever feel to you like there is a battle of the light and the dark?  Were you ever scared of the dark as a child?  As adults, we’re often scared of the darkness that surrounds us, but the key to the darkness is to shine a light on it.

Shining a light on the darkness can be terrifying.  Who wants to look at something dark and negative?  But when you do, it loses its power.  You don’t want to explore your shame, your guilt, your grief, or your fears because of what it could tell you.  It’s hard to go to those dark places and reveal the parts of ourselves that we never want to be seen.  But you know that if you don’t, the darkness wins!  The only way to defeat the dark is to speak it aloud.  When you do, it slowly loses its power.

You want to have things like love and joy in your life, right?  You don’t want to be swamped by the darkest feelings that we can experience as human beings. 

If given the choice, choose the light.  If you’re in the dark, find a way out.  Empowerment is all about finding a way out of the dark into the light.

You might believe that darkness is all around us and that may seem to be the case, but it doesn’t have to be.  You can be a beacon of light shining for the rest of the world to see.

You can bring your past from the depths to the light where it can have little impact on you anymore.  You don’t have to live in the dark.  You can step into the light.  When it feels like the darkness is getting close again, take action, and step back into the light.

All of this is easier said than done, especially in the beginning.  The first step is always the hardest.  You are here to have an experience and learn something about yourself.  You’re stronger than you think.  You can step into the light.

What darkness do you wish to release from your life?  Let me know. Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Did I Say That?

Guilt.  The feeling of being a failure and inadequate.  Where you ask yourself why did I do that?  Why did I say that?  Can I fix it?  On Dr. Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, Guilt vibrates at a level of 30.

Guilt is a step up from Shame.  The biggest difference between the two is with Shame, you’re a bad person and with Guilt what you did was bad.  Guilt still isn’t an emotion that most of us wish to talk about, but it is better than speaking about your Shame.  The only way through these emotions is to speak them aloud.

I spent a large portion of my life living in Guilt.  I would question everything I said.  I wanted to fix it, but I didn’t know how.  I spent hours of my day trying to figure out what I did or said that was wrong.  How did I end up there?  I felt guilty if I acted and guilty if I didn’t.  Why didn’t I say anything? 

The things that I wished that I had said were the most common for me.  I wished that I had told someone that I liked him, or I didn’t speak up for myself and allowed someone to walk all over me.  But why didn’t I?  Could I say something the next time and “fix it”?  What if I could go back and do something over again and then fix it?  These were the repeating stories in my head.  Most every interaction with someone else led to these questions and it was exhausting.

In the past my tendency was to keep quiet.  When I would say something and it wouldn’t come out right or someone would misinterpret my point, it was easier to keep quiet.  We can have as much guilt for what we did do or say as what we didn’t.  My guilt and shame were one in this case.  If I didn’t say something, it was because I thought who was I to have an opinion or to think that someone might feel the same way?

There’s a saying that the guilt can eat you alive and it can.  It’s an emotion that can take the joy of life away from you.  If you question everything you say, every action or reaction, what’s left?  My mind would loop around the past.  Why did I do that?  Why did I say that?  But by living in Guilt I never allowed myself to live in the present.  I didn’t allow myself to experience life or what could be.

To get out of the loop, I had to determine what my Guilt was about.  Once I was able to speak it and claim it, I was on to the next level of the map, Apathy.

What do you feel Guilty about?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.