Becoming You

What if you aren’t who you thought you were?  Unfortunately, traumatic events can make us not want to be hurt again, so we start to hold a part of ourselves back.  We don’t show who we are and allow our authentic self to shine through.

Having spent a good portion of the last 9 years or so working through trauma has now led me to the point of I thought I knew who I was but there’s more.  I was looking at pictures and I found one from about the age of 4 that has always spoken to me.  What is it about that one picture?  I’m starting to think it’s my authentic self speaking to me.  Helping me.  Guiding me back to the person I’m meant to be.

Nothing that I’ve done has been for not.  It has led me to this point.  I could say the same thing to you.  Everything that you’ve done has led you to this point.  The question is what do you do next?  Do you continue to play it safe or step up?  How do you move forward?

Becoming who you were meant to be is challenging.  We can doubt ourselves and not know which way to go.  So what do we do?  There are variations for each of us.  I tend to take the big picture and break it down into small pieces.  You may jump right in.  Neither one is right nor wrong.  It’s all about who we are.

All these energies are forcing us to review our story.  Who have we been and who do we want to become?  Who are we?  What do we value?  Does our day-to-day life demonstrate what we value?  Maybe you’re reviewing this list of questions and decide that you’re good.  That’s great!  You’ve probably done a lot of work on yourself to reach that place, but what if you’re not?  Becoming the person you’re meant to be can present it’s own challenges, but when you finally know who you are, there’s nothing better.

Who do you want to be? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time to Learn and Listen

These past weeks have taught us a lot about the world, the United States and ourselves.  There’s so much we don’t know; I’m included in this statement.  While scrolling through posts on Facebook, I read something that jumped out from the headlines.  There’s racism in all of us.  The first thing I wanted to do was deny that statement, but the more I pondered it, the more I had to admit there it’s true.

Racism has been present since the time the United States was founded.  Slavery has been a part of this country from the beginning in some form.  We had a Civil War to outlaw slavery, but it never really ended.  The people found ways around it.  We had the Civil Rights Movement, but again people found ways to continue with their beliefs.  Confronting our beliefs is one of the hardest things to do in life.

I grew up in the State of Maine.  To put it simply, there isn’t a lot of diversity.  For the few that were of a different race, they stood out.  This was my limited exposure as a child.  Even now most of the people I come across look like me.  I had never thought about the concept of “white privilege” until recently, which in of itself tells something about my privilege.

I didn’t agree with so many things happening in the United States, but I cried tears of hope when we elected our first black president.  I hoped that things could change.  While there was a portion of the population that was different, there was a portion that wasn’t about to let the old way of life go.

The universe has a way of repeating messages until we can see what we didn’t want to see. Hopefully, we’re starting to receive the message.  I’ve been searching my own soul.  I cried as I watched officers of the law tear gas protestors in our nation’s capital on live television and wondered how did we get to this point.

Our nation has an opportunity to be different, but first we must confront our past.  We have been part of the problem, whether we want to or not.  Racism is present whether we agree with it or not.  But how do we move forward?  I don’t have all of the answers, but two responses that I keep getting are community and listening.

Growing up I lived in a neighborhood, a very small one I’ll admit, but my neighbors knew my name.  I’d walk to school; people would wave and knew who I was.  I knew the names of the police officers.  I knew that if I did something wrong, someone was going to tell my parents.  I still live in this same town and it’s not the same place.  I don’t know all of my neighbor’s names. I don’t know our police by name.  I don’t know the people in our community.

Our communities are no longer part of our joys and sorrows.  We don’t know what people need.  We lost community along the way.  When we know our neighbors and who they are as people, we’re less likely to vilify them based upon our perceptions.  It’s not an easy undertaking but rebuilding the foundation of an entire country isn’t either.

I want to believe that there’s good in everyone.  Some days are harder than others.  I hope that people aren’t beyond redemption.  I hope that we can change the narrative and listen to what our neighbors need.  The best thing I can do right now with my white privilege is to say I don’t know the answers, but I’m ready to learn and to listen.  I don’t know the people in my community, but I’m ready to at least learn your names.  I’m ready to do better.  I’m ready to grow and to know that it’s going to take time.  Growth can be a painful process but there’s something each one of us can learn.

What have you learned or need to learn?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What’s Your Gut Telling You?

There’s so much information swirling around us every day.  Somedays do you even want to hear it?  Maybe it’s best if you don’t.  There are emails, social media posts, and news reports that not only present the facts, but how you should feel or react.  But, are they right?  Two different sides have their opinions about how to approach the issue and both have their own interpretation.  Is that interpretation, right?  Only you know what’s best for you!

With every piece of information that’s released, you have to act based on your own authority.  You can be confused.  It’s ok.  Take a breath.  What feels heavy to you?  Does it feel wrong to you?  Act from the information that feels right.  You must do what you need to feel safe and secure.  This goes back to the issue of choice. During this time of COVID-19, you have a choice, but so does the owner of the business that you visit.  Respect that others have a choice.  You may feel that your rights are being taken away from you (I’m not referring to people who are disabled in this statement).  You have the right to go somewhere else.  Your rights don’t mean that you can do whatever you want.  Our Constitution in the United States doesn’t mean that you can murder someone else or steal from someone else.  This isn’t any different.  You have the right to act from your instincts, but your rights don’t override someone else’s.

Having been trained in Reiki and energy work, you can’t act without someone’s permission.  You need approval to enter their field or coach someone.  For most practitioners that’s the first question you’re asked.  You have the right to say no and the discussion ends there.  I can want to help you, but my desire to help you doesn’t override your right to not want my help.  Nothing is different here.

You have the right to decide what’s right for you and wrong for you, but you don’t have the right for any other adult.  You might not like the decision, but that’s their call.  My question for you would be why does it bother you so much?

What’s your inner authority telling you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Is This Your Best?

Are you doing the best you can right now?  If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about.  Growing up were you one of the kids whose parents accepted their grades if you did the best you could or the one whose parents expected perfection?

Perfection is a challenging trait to overcome.  It could have been ingrained in us by our parents or something we learned.   Either way striving to be perfect can prevent us from thriving in challenging circumstances.  Perfection can never be obtained.  Human beings aren’t perfect.  We’re flawed.  We have problems.  It’s our problems that teach us on this journey called life.

You could wake up in the morning and your plans could be completely blown apart by 9 am.  I’ve been there.  I bet you have too.  Things don’t always work out as we have planned.  Life can get in the way.  But, it’s ok.  Give yourself permission to say it’s ok.  If you did your best, then it’s ok.

For most of my life, I strove for perfection.  What did it get me?  I was never truly happy with myself.  I wanted to be better.  I would question everything that happened.  While I still do these things, my motive has shifted.  I want them to learn more.  I want to see myself grow.  I no longer want to use it as a mask for what others see.  However, I also know this is a process and I can’t change comfortably overnight.  The first thing I had to learn was that I was doing the best I could and to learn to be ok with that way of thinking.  It took me time.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing the best I can.

As a result, my self-confidence has gone up.  I feel better myself. I’ve tried things I never thought I would.  I’ve learned to care less about what others think of me.  I’ve given myself permission to do the best I can.  That’s the best thing somedays that any of us can do.

Are you doing the best you can?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Who Has the Power?

Power is ultimately something that each one of us wants.  Not necessarily having total control over someone else, but the power to make decisions over our own life.

It’s hard when that option gets taken away.  We’re seeing people’s response all over the news.  There are protests.  People are fighting back.  Some of us are just doing what’s recommended.  So, what do you do?  First off, don’t lash out at other people.  They’re doing the best they can with the information they have.  It’s so easy to get angry and blame other people.  To be truly empowered, work to rise above these emotions.  Second, try to find a way so that you’re making a choice.  This can be challenging when you’re not able to cover your basic needs.  Is there a way that you can?  Can you do odd jobs for someone else?  Can you get assistance from the government?  Can you make changes to your lifestyle?  What can you do to make decisions that support you?  Third, how can you live within these new parameters?  Do you stay home?  Do you find other ways to occupy your time?  Do you get help?  Maybe even do things you really don’t want to, like wear a face mask.

Some emotion is coming to the surface for each one of us to deal with.  In the State of Maine, phases for reopening were announced this past week.  While a lot of them made sense, some of them did not.  Hair salons were on the phase 1 list.  For myself, my co-workers, and some of our clients this didn’t make sense.  Other clients are messaging us to book their appointments.  We must prepare for new requirements and find a way to feel comfortable leaving the safety of our homes and going back to work, especially when we thought we had more time.  This is a process.   There’s the physical side, with what needs to be done, but there’s also the emotional side.  It’s so important to not overlook the emotional component.  We aren’t robots.  People are afraid and there is little comfort provided on the news.  People feel alone and isolated.  We can’t even hold funerals and bury our dead in the same way.  We’re all grieving for a life that was lost, whether someone we loved or our “normal” life. 

Please give yourself and others time.  We will get there.  It may not happen as quickly as you would like and someday we won’t have to be concerned about COVID-19, but we aren’t there yet.  Until that day, try to find a way to make empowered choices and realize that everyone is hurting in some way, even if it doesn’t appear that way.  Looks can be deceiving.

How can you find a way to seize control and make a choice from a place of power?   Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Are You Uncomfortable Yet?

We live at a point in time where our daily life can be super uncomfortable.  Our security, our safety, and our level of comfort have been rocked.  We are being forced to live outside of our comfort zone and most of us don’t like it!  It’s one thing to make a choice to step outside of your comfort zone and make changes to your life, but it’s another to have those changes forced upon you.

None of us want to have decisions made for us.  We want to oversee our lives.  Living in a COVID-19 world, people are in pain.  People are dying.  People are drowning in debt.  People can’t pay their bills.  People don’t have food.  It can be challenging to see the positives and opportunities when we are just trying to survive.

For so many of us, right now is about surviving.  We’re trying to make it one day or pay one bill.  I know this can be hard to hear, but we might be missing what we need to learn.  COVID-19 is an opportunity for us to learn.  To make the hard decisions.

For years I lived in the dark.  I didn’t want to know what my problems were, I just wanted them to miraculously go away.  I didn’t care whether it was someone else coming to save me or my life just suddenly got better.  Either way was good.  I didn’t care how it happened.

Growing up I thought that certain things would happen at a certain point in my life.  For some they did, but for me, they didn’t seem to work out that way.  When I turned 30, I didn’t want to acknowledge that my life wasn’t what I had dreamed it would be.  The hardest question I ever asked myself was why.  Asking that question meant that I could no longer live my life in denial.  I had to take the leap out of my comfort zone.  That leap was one of the most terrifying things I had done.  Starting my own business last year was officially the most terrifying thing I have ever done.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is uncomfortable.

What you’re experiencing right now is a push out of your comfort zone and I’m right there with you.  I’ve been given another shove put of my comfort zone this past month.  My routine has been totally disrupted.  My income has been shaken up.  One of the hardest things that I had to do was overcome my pride and file for unemployment.  I had done everything right!  I had gotten a part-time job to help pay my bills while my business was getting established.  I stepped past my pride and had to have courage and trust that all would be ok.  The interesting thing is that by taking that leap I’m doing better than I was a month ago.

That doesn’t mean that everyone is.  I’m grateful that I’m doing better, but I also know that I’ve done a lot of work to get there.  There was no miracle cure.  No one came to save me.  It was me.  I had to do the work and take the leap.  My discomfort had to grow to the point that I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I had reached my breaking point.  Congratulations!  You may have just reached yours.  Here comes the opportunity for you to say that I’m never going to be like this again and start to make different decisions.

How are you going to step out of your comfort zone?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.