What Is Normal?

According to Merriam-Webster, the word normal means “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule or principle.” 

We use this word a lot during our everyday lives.  Especially right now.  People want their “normal” way of life.  People are creatures of habit.  We’re not particularly fond of change, unless it’s one of our choosing.  We want things our way.

Growing up I just wanted to be “normal”.  I wanted to be like everyone else.  I hated being different.  I hated that I had to go to occupational therapy and the other kids didn’t.  I spent my life trying to be like everyone else.  It took me 25 years to learn that wasn’t an option.  Every person is different.  There is no normal.   What if I said that especially applies to now?

You can have a normal day.  Even during a pandemic, we are establishing new patterns.  We have new habits, but we can’t go back to what it was.  It’s just not possible.  You can’t unlearn something.  We can’t redo yesterday, it’s in the past.  It’s the same thing with our normal.

Even going back to work, it’s different.  It’s not the same.  We can’t unhear what we’ve heard.  People are still afraid, and they have a right to be.  Even when the curve has started to decrease, people are going to be hesitant.  There’s a possibility of a new normal for each of us.  A new routine, but the old one’s gone.

It's strange how even living during a pandemic, a new normal emerges.  New habits. New routines.  New ways forward.  It’s ok to miss what was.  You can miss the simpler times, but things have changed.  Change happens and it’s meant to.  We’re meant to grow and evolve.  This is part of our evolution.  Let’s grow together!

How has your normal changed?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Truth Is . . .

The truth is there’s always a reason to not do something or to not say something.  There’s always a reason to not take action.  There’s always a reason to not make a change.

We can always come up with a reason why.  Not now.  Maybe later.  I don’t know enough.  I’m not ready.  What if they say no?

I would be willing to bet that one of these many reasons has held you back.  You’re not alone.  I’ve been right there with you.  I don’t have time, or I need more information are some of my go tos.

The truth is that it’s ok.  You can’t change the past, but you can change the present and maybe even the future.  One small step can change everything if you want.  Sometimes our biggest dreams can seem unattainable.  We just don’t know how to get there.  Breaking those dreams down into steps can make some dreams attainable.

I started my business by breaking it down into small steps.  Choose a name.  Design a logo.  Register with the State of Maine.

I passed my certification program to be an empowerment coach with small steps.  I signed up.  Completed Lesson 1.  Completed Lesson 30.  Completed Call 1.  Completed Call 30.  Reviewed notes and started completed final assignment questions for 1.  Repeat Day 5.  I reviewed and clicked submit.

It doesn’t mean that I knew everything as I was doing it or that I do now, but I did it anyway.  The moment of hitting submit was terrifying.  Those voices inside of you that say, what if.  What if I’m wrong?  What if I fail?

The truth is you don’t know if you don’t try.  I spent so much of my life not trying because of the what-ifs.  Who knows what kind of life I missed by not trying, but the truth is that I can’t change my past, but I can change what I do at this moment.

Who knows what the future holds for any one of us?  We may think we know, but one choice could potentially alter the course forward.  The truth is that anything’s possible, but we have to try.  We can’t live our life based on the what-ifs.  We must live for our dreams.  That might mean confronting our fears.  Overcoming our pride.  Who knows what you might uncover?  The truth is only you know.  What may have been true about you in the past doesn’t have to govern the remainder of your life.  The truth is yours!

What is your truth?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What’s Your Gut Telling You?

There’s so much information swirling around us every day.  Somedays do you even want to hear it?  Maybe it’s best if you don’t.  There are emails, social media posts, and news reports that not only present the facts, but how you should feel or react.  But, are they right?  Two different sides have their opinions about how to approach the issue and both have their own interpretation.  Is that interpretation, right?  Only you know what’s best for you!

With every piece of information that’s released, you have to act based on your own authority.  You can be confused.  It’s ok.  Take a breath.  What feels heavy to you?  Does it feel wrong to you?  Act from the information that feels right.  You must do what you need to feel safe and secure.  This goes back to the issue of choice. During this time of COVID-19, you have a choice, but so does the owner of the business that you visit.  Respect that others have a choice.  You may feel that your rights are being taken away from you (I’m not referring to people who are disabled in this statement).  You have the right to go somewhere else.  Your rights don’t mean that you can do whatever you want.  Our Constitution in the United States doesn’t mean that you can murder someone else or steal from someone else.  This isn’t any different.  You have the right to act from your instincts, but your rights don’t override someone else’s.

Having been trained in Reiki and energy work, you can’t act without someone’s permission.  You need approval to enter their field or coach someone.  For most practitioners that’s the first question you’re asked.  You have the right to say no and the discussion ends there.  I can want to help you, but my desire to help you doesn’t override your right to not want my help.  Nothing is different here.

You have the right to decide what’s right for you and wrong for you, but you don’t have the right for any other adult.  You might not like the decision, but that’s their call.  My question for you would be why does it bother you so much?

What’s your inner authority telling you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Is This Your Best?

Are you doing the best you can right now?  If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about.  Growing up were you one of the kids whose parents accepted their grades if you did the best you could or the one whose parents expected perfection?

Perfection is a challenging trait to overcome.  It could have been ingrained in us by our parents or something we learned.   Either way striving to be perfect can prevent us from thriving in challenging circumstances.  Perfection can never be obtained.  Human beings aren’t perfect.  We’re flawed.  We have problems.  It’s our problems that teach us on this journey called life.

You could wake up in the morning and your plans could be completely blown apart by 9 am.  I’ve been there.  I bet you have too.  Things don’t always work out as we have planned.  Life can get in the way.  But, it’s ok.  Give yourself permission to say it’s ok.  If you did your best, then it’s ok.

For most of my life, I strove for perfection.  What did it get me?  I was never truly happy with myself.  I wanted to be better.  I would question everything that happened.  While I still do these things, my motive has shifted.  I want them to learn more.  I want to see myself grow.  I no longer want to use it as a mask for what others see.  However, I also know this is a process and I can’t change comfortably overnight.  The first thing I had to learn was that I was doing the best I could and to learn to be ok with that way of thinking.  It took me time.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’m doing the best I can.

As a result, my self-confidence has gone up.  I feel better myself. I’ve tried things I never thought I would.  I’ve learned to care less about what others think of me.  I’ve given myself permission to do the best I can.  That’s the best thing somedays that any of us can do.

Are you doing the best you can?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Who Has the Power?

Power is ultimately something that each one of us wants.  Not necessarily having total control over someone else, but the power to make decisions over our own life.

It’s hard when that option gets taken away.  We’re seeing people’s response all over the news.  There are protests.  People are fighting back.  Some of us are just doing what’s recommended.  So, what do you do?  First off, don’t lash out at other people.  They’re doing the best they can with the information they have.  It’s so easy to get angry and blame other people.  To be truly empowered, work to rise above these emotions.  Second, try to find a way so that you’re making a choice.  This can be challenging when you’re not able to cover your basic needs.  Is there a way that you can?  Can you do odd jobs for someone else?  Can you get assistance from the government?  Can you make changes to your lifestyle?  What can you do to make decisions that support you?  Third, how can you live within these new parameters?  Do you stay home?  Do you find other ways to occupy your time?  Do you get help?  Maybe even do things you really don’t want to, like wear a face mask.

Some emotion is coming to the surface for each one of us to deal with.  In the State of Maine, phases for reopening were announced this past week.  While a lot of them made sense, some of them did not.  Hair salons were on the phase 1 list.  For myself, my co-workers, and some of our clients this didn’t make sense.  Other clients are messaging us to book their appointments.  We must prepare for new requirements and find a way to feel comfortable leaving the safety of our homes and going back to work, especially when we thought we had more time.  This is a process.   There’s the physical side, with what needs to be done, but there’s also the emotional side.  It’s so important to not overlook the emotional component.  We aren’t robots.  People are afraid and there is little comfort provided on the news.  People feel alone and isolated.  We can’t even hold funerals and bury our dead in the same way.  We’re all grieving for a life that was lost, whether someone we loved or our “normal” life. 

Please give yourself and others time.  We will get there.  It may not happen as quickly as you would like and someday we won’t have to be concerned about COVID-19, but we aren’t there yet.  Until that day, try to find a way to make empowered choices and realize that everyone is hurting in some way, even if it doesn’t appear that way.  Looks can be deceiving.

How can you find a way to seize control and make a choice from a place of power?   Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.