Lovability

Before you can become empowered in your life, the first step is to learn to love yourself.  Be truthful with yourself.  Do you love who you are?  If you don’t then you know where to start.

Learning to love myself was my first step and the hardest.  I had been programmed from an early age that I wasn’t good enough.  When I entered school at 5, I learned that I wasn’t “right”.  For the first couple of years in school, I saw an occupational therapist.  While she was nice, most of the other kids in my class didn’t have to see her.  I saw her to help with my lack of coordination and sensitivity to touch.  Part of my homework was to get brushed down with a special brush.  While the program helped with these issues it created programming.  I wanted to be “normal” like all the other kids in my class.  I learned to be someone else.  This caricature of me morphed over the years, but it was a facade.  Most people didn’t know me, and I reached a point where I didn’t know myself.  It is quite challenging to love yourself when you have no clue who you are. 

At 30 years old I realized that I wasn’t close to any of my life goals.  I wasn’t married.  I didn’t have children.  I didn’t have a boyfriend.  My job was ok, but it didn’t light me up inside.  I went to work every day, but it didn’t really make me happy.

One of my co-workers convinced me to join a dating site.  She had a blast looking through all the potential partners out there and checking in to see how it was going, but for me it didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  What was the issue?  I still didn’t know who I was.

I finally decided to take a step back.  I started stepping into the spiritual world after my nephew was born in 2011.  I read a book called Loveability by Robert Holden in 2014 and started putting the pieces together.  I needed to discover who I was.  I read lots of books.  Dabbled with astrology, numerology and other methodologies that might help me to answer the question, who am I?  It took me a while and just when things seemed to be coming together, I got triggered by my need to fit in.  I started feeling out of place at my job and that I had to be someone else.  I wasn’t allowed to share my spiritual perspective, so I shut down that area of my life at work.  But when you spend 37.5 hours per week shutting down an aspect of yourself it can make it a challenge to be the best version of yourself.  I was tired.  I found it harder and harder to do my job.  I felt like I was constantly being criticized.  All of this was coming to a breaking point that ended when I was terminated from my job.

I finally had an opportunity to be myself.  I was led to an empowerment coaching program and jumped in.  I received coaching myself as part of the program.  I was finally starting to get back to being me.  I already had a community of people who knew the real me, but I had never really been me at work.  In August I started a part-time job and had the chance to be me.  I was accepted by each person.  They seem intrigued by what I can do and who I am.  They share some interest in the metaphysical world, but the most important lesson is that I can be me and be accepted at a place of employment.

I’m still getting my business going, but I’m happier now even being triggered by my limiting beliefs every day then I was when I didn’t know who I was or was trying to be someone else.

Now for my personal life.  I’m getting closer every day, but before I could love someone else in an equal partnership, I had to learn to love me.  I’m a work in progress just like you and every other person, but I’m getting there.  But I’m at a point where I can look at myself in the mirror and say I love you without cringing.  I will take that progress and move forward.

Do you love who you are?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more, click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.