Have A Little Patience

How are you doing right now?  It’s ok if you’re having trouble adjusting.  We all are.  For most of us we go, go, go from waking to bedtime.  For most of us, we can’t do that anymore.  We may still have our jobs but are having to fit in schooling our children.  We may have lost our jobs and having trouble getting dressed.  You’re where you are right now and that’s ok.  Even when you can get dressed, you might have trouble doing something besides watching tv.  That’s ok too.  Be patient with yourself.

Things that we looked forward to are being canceled.  Even things that might have helped us to feel better like getting our hair or nails done aren’t an option.  It’s ok to be frustrated, depressed or angry.  It’s ok to be sad.  It’s ok to cry.  For us to start to feel better, you must release what you’re feeling, and it doesn’t happen overnight.  Honor where you are in the process.  If you feel like checking something off on your to-do list, then do it.  If you don’t, allow yourself permission to take a break.

We are being asked to heal.  The healing process for each person is different.  Each one of us is unique and so is our process.

Have patience with yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  I typically have a to-do list a mile long and over the last couple of weeks I haven’t done as much as I would have liked, but I like you, am having to figure out what my life is right now.  I miss my friends.  I miss my routine.  Things just aren’t the same.  I have watched videos on Facebook and movies and cried.  That’s not all that unusual for me, but it has helped.  I’m honoring where I am in the process.  I will get to the action phase soon, but for now, I’m adjusting and grieving for what was and determining what could be.

How have you been patient with yourself?  Or how do you need to be more patient with yourself? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

It’s Time for a Little Faith

One of my favorite quotes has always been “faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”  A Miracle on 34th Street.  Sometimes we just have a feeling that everything is going to be ok.

We are living at a time when people around us are afraid.  You might even be one of them.  You may have lost your job or are about to lose it.  You might not be able to pay your bills.  You may know someone who is sick, or you may be.  You might just be frustrated that you can’t get everything done in a day.  First off, take a deep breath.  Everything happens for a reason.

For a long time, I had trouble with that statement, and I know I’m not alone.  Why does a young child get sick and die?  Why did this happen to me?  I wish I could answer all the why’s, but it isn’t always possible.  What I can tell you is that there is a lesson hidden in there and until you can find it, you must have a little faith.  Some of my biggest life lessons took me years to discover.  Some only took a few hours.

There is no right answer.  Every person lives life differently and you’re allowed to, but are you growing as a result or are you staying stuck?  If you’re stuck, it’s time to change that feeling and have a little faith that when we come out of quarantine that your life can be better.   Let’s be honest, life can’t be what it was before.  That may be hard to hear, but it’s true.  We can never be the people we were yesterday.  We have learned something or uncovered something which has moved us forward.  At the very least we are a day older.

On Tuesday I broke quarantine to go grocery shopping.  I started my day with a plan.  As soon as I put my key in the ignition my plan was gone.  I’ve spoken about my car battery before, well it decided it was done.  Why had it chosen that moment?  I looked to see who was open.  The least expensive option that I could see at the time was temporarily closed.  The only other place I could think of was the car dealership.  I called and they said they could replace the battery and it might still be covered under warranty.  I asked if he could look up when I purchased the battery.  I thought I had purchased it in 2016, but I had purchased it in October 2017.  It was still covered by the 30-month warranty.  I got a new battery for free!  I haven’t always had faith, but I had enough to get me there.  I had 1 month left on my warranty and if my battery hadn’t died, I will admit I would have tried to keep it going because I don’t have extra cash lying around.  But I also could have missed out on a free battery.  I was fortunate, but I was also going to another place and interacting with more people than I had planned.  As the day progressed, I started to think about how different things are from just a few weeks ago.  But I had to have faith that all would be ok.  I took all the precautions that I could and the rest I had to believe would work out.

We aren’t in quarantine just to keep us safe, but those around us safe.  To know that what we can contribute is enough and have faith that it is working.  Faith can help us in many things from getting a new car battery to walking through the grocery store to just working through our fear.  We just need to believe that everything will work out how it’s supposed to.  It’s time for a little faith.

What do you need faith to help you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

The Walking Wounded

This is a challenging time.  No one has ever seen anything like this, and we are unlikely to ever see anything like it again.  We are being asked to rise.  We are being asked to have compassion for our friends, our neighbors, our enemies, and ourselves.

It can be difficult when what we want isn’t going our way.  Our frustrations can be unleashed on those who have little to do with our problems.  This is a time to take a breath and think before we respond.

So many of us have lost our income.  We are having to file for unemployment and take steps that we never expected to take.  We did everything right.  Each one of us is the walking wounded.  We have so much in common right now, but it can be hard to see other people’s pain when we can barely see our own.

Last week was a challenge.  The place where I have been working part-time closed its doors until we are able to open again.  Last year I experienced all these major shifts and put the pieces together to have half of my plan blown apart again.  My first step was to make it through a day and then through the week.  It can be too hard to make decisions when you’re just trying to get through the day.

Once I made it through my work week, the next step was to take care of anything that I needed while on my way home.  Then I arrived home and cleaned up anything germs that I might have on me.  I washed the floors, the surfaces, and anything else I might have touched.  My final step was to give myself time.  I knew from experience that I could only take care of my most immediate needs at that moment.  I gave myself permission to feel anything I felt.  I listened to USA For Africa’s “We Are the World” and cried.  I worked through my pride and filed for unemployment so I could pay my bills.  I allowed myself to be angry at what this virus has done to the world, my plans, and to grieve for what I and others have lost. 

The world that we knew is not the same place and it can’t be.  When you do venture outside to get groceries or gas, say hello and thank the clerk.  Accept that the things you need might not be available.  Have compassion for those around you.  We are all in this together and are feeling the same things.  We will come out of this better people. 

After the attacks on September 11th one of the lessons I have always remembered was a sense of unity in our collective grief.  People hung their American flags at their door.  We have an opportunity again.  There is always a possibility of a rainbow after a rainstorm, but we must look for it.  Look for the silver lining.  We are resilient and will come through this stronger than ever.  We can do this but show a little kindness to each person.  It goes a long way.

How are you showing compassion? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

What Am I Going to Do?

It’s time to pause the posts of the Map of Consciousness for at least a week and focus on something that most everyone is feeling right now, anxiety and fear.

People like to be in control of their own lives.  They like to have an idea of what is going to happen from day to day.  They like certainty.

As we live in times of a pandemic, there is very little certainty or control.  New information is being reported throughout the day.  How are we supposed to keep calm?

While I believe that we make choices in our life, I also think that some things are fated.  I believe this may be one of those times.  For a long time, our culture has been all about me and what do I want.  You could see it in the grocery stores last week with people fighting for the last pack of toilet paper.  We aren’t meant to live our lives focused on only ourselves.  We are meant to be concerned for our neighbors and have compassion for our fellow citizens.  We are all hurting.

We are meant to shift right now.  Shifting isn’t comfortable.  Some of the anxiety you’re experiencing could be due to this.  Maybe you’re an empath and can feel other’s emotions.  Just going to the grocery store was an exercise in not picking up other’s emotions.  Or maybe you’re just trying to make it through the day with some sense of normalcy.

This is a time for us to come together, but your emotions will follow you wherever you go.  You can’t run.  You can’t hide.  It’s ok to be afraid or anxious, but you need to move through these emotions.  You don’t want them to become a part of you.  Negative emotions are said to weaken the body which can make you more likely to get sick.

So, what do you do?  You need to find what works for you.  It could be meditation, reading a book, going outside, or having a dance party.

My ability to quiet the mind started when I practiced regular Reiki sessions.  First by having other people conduct them for me and now practicing them on myself and others.  I also regularly turn off the TV.  I get the news that I need and then give myself time to process it.  In the evenings, I’ve been reading books.  I’ve been rereading books that I’ve loved over the years such as Harry Potter, Jane Austen and Twilight.  Books that can take me to another world and allow my imagination to soar.

What are you doing to help with your anxiety? Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Can Do This!

Courage.  The 9th level of Dr. David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness.  It vibrates at a level of 200 within the body.  It’s the area where you truly start to feel empowered and excited.  Energy is building within your body and you can start to see the big picture.  You can see the possibilities.

What does being empowered mean to you?  I had never really thought about what that meant to me until last year.  For so many years I had felt like things happened to other people, but they didn’t happen to me.  There were periods of time where I could be positive and start to feel like they were shifting and then something else would fall apart.

There were parts of my life where it felt like I had made my choices and I needed to carry them forward.  I had decided in my 20’s that I was going to be a Paralegal.  I started out as a Legal Assistant and would look for ways that I could move that dream forward.  I found Immigration law which seemed to fit well with my interests and hobbies, but I was stuck as a Legal Assistant and couldn’t find get to the title of Paralegal. I had to find the courage to apply for other jobs.  By the end of 2011, I had begun to realize that path and it became a question of how do I continue to develop.

With the election of a new president in 2016, I couldn’t have foreseen all the changes that would take place in Immigration law.  I figured that unless laws were passed, things would remain the same, but they didn’t.  All the things that I loved about working in Immigration started to evaporate.  But what could I do?  I had made my choice.  I started to become interested in metaphysics and received my certificates in Reiki, but I questioned whether I could do that for a living.

As 2018 ended, I knew my life was about to change.  The question was how long did I have.  The answer is 3 weeks.  I talked with a friend of mine who happens to be a psychic and she was able to help me determine that I could start a business as a coach, but I couldn’t quite figure out all the pieces.  I applied to a couple of places to help while I put the pieces together, so I could leave my current job on my terms.  Just over a week later, I was terminated from my position.  I decided to take time to think I did the obvious first and looked through job listings.  I looked in other fields that might contain some of what I had enjoyed from working in immigration, but I couldn’t shake the conversations I’d had with my friend about starting a business.  What do I do?  I stumbled across a Facebook Live between Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette.  I learned about empowerment coaching and all the pieces seemed to come together.  For the first time in a long time I acted from a place of courage and took a leap.

Taking the leap didn’t mean that my past insecurities disappeared.  I started working with a coach and doing the coursework and I started to feel better.  It felt like anything was possible.  Another insecurity would come up for me to work through, I kept going.  At the end of April, it will be a year since I launched my business, a day that was terrifying and exciting at the same time.  Is it perfect, no, but I am so much happier than I’ve ever been.  I feel like myself.  I feel that I’m on my path and I have the courage to keep trying.  I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t had the courage to say yes, I can do this.

What would Courage have you do?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

I Will Prove It!

Pride.  The 8th level of the Map of Consciousness.  Pride has a vibration of 175 within the body.  You’re almost to the level of starting to feel empowered, but first you need to move through I’ll show you; I know what I’m talking about; I know I’m right; and I’ll prove it!

Pride can take many different forms.  It can be my way is the right way.  We see a lot of pride specifically when it comes to political opinions.  There is a lot of I know I’m right going on now, to the point where people aren’t willing to hear or see other viewpoints.  Their view is the only one that matters.

There is also another form that pride can take.  This is the one that I’m going to spend some time this week.  I grew up with a large extended family.  When I was in college, I had a discussion with my mom.  She was curious as to where the female line of our family originated.  I figured that I knew enough about computers and research to find out the answers.  I started researching and by the end of the day I had reached the female ancestor that would have traveled from overseas to Prince Edward Island, Canada.  I couldn’t find her maiden name and you know what all these years later, I still haven’t been able to answer that question, but I started to branch out.  You know what?  I didn’t just do my ancestral line but traced back cousins and have built a family free of over 44,000 people.  It’s one that I’ve found relationships to presidents, royalty, authors, explorers, and other well-known people.  It changed my views on history.  It’s a project that I take great pride in and it’s a positive aspect of pride, but for the downside.  When you put your research out there, people will comment and question your research.  With genealogy research, you’re looking for documents to prove relationships.  Your research is only as good as your proof. Also when you have great pride in your work, it can sometimes blind you to other options.

I have been working on finding my 3rd great grandmother’s parents for years now.  I knew her maiden name, so that wasn’t my stumbling block, like it normally is with women.  She was born in 1820 and got married for the first time in 1840.  The 1850 U.S. Federal Census is the first census that lists members of a household and she was already married.  I looked through everything I could find to prove her parents.  I had a couple of strong possibilities and if I’m honest, my intuition told me it was one over the others.  I was going to find a way to prove who her parents were.  For many years I was so sure as to who her parents were that I had it published on my online family tree.  I kept working at finding the documentation to back it up, but I started to get nervous when others cited my research as part of their research.  I had no genealogical proof.  I disconnected her parents from my family tree.  I couldn’t completely delete them because something told me there was still a connection.  This weekend I finally got my proof.  One of my cousins completed a DNA test and we were finally able to find a link between her and one of the siblings from the 1850 census.  My pride in this case might have kept me going, but also prevented me from seeing options.  I didn’t have the courage to stand behind my intuition.  Eventually when I was ready, the next step was revealed. 

How has pride helped your or hurt you?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Happily Ever After

Growing up I loved watching Disney movies.  To be honest, I still do.  Today we have role models that are powerful like Elsa and Moana.  They act from an empowered place.  They are who they are, and others need to learn to accept them for who they are.  My favorites in my youth were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.  They don’t seem all that empowered now, they look like two role models who needed to be saved.

In 1981 Colette Dowling published a book The Cinderella Complex.  It’s a theory that women are afraid of independence and have an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others.  While I would love to say that I haven’t fallen into this trap, I probably have.  But, 2019 was the year that I started working on reversing this story.  I wanted someone to come and save me.  Whether it was from financial issues, having to work, or just being alone and wanting someone to be in a relationship with.  I wanted someone else to come and save me from life’s problems.  Like a fairy tale, I dreamed that by having someone “save me” all my problems would disappear.

There was just one problem, nobody else could save me.  I had to learn to save myself.  I had to take control and be empowered in my own life.  The idea that I had been waiting to be saved was a difficult one to swallow.  Why would I do that?  I don’t really have an explanation.  There are many theories that our experiences up to the ages of 7 to 8 shape who we become as adults.  Could that include something as simple as watching a movie repeatedly?  Maybe.  There is also the conditioning of women by society that could be a part of it.  Growing up women have been taught that our main responsibility is to be a wife and a mother.  Until the 1970’s, women only had a few career options, including being a secretary or teacher.  Once you were married, your occupation became that of a housewife.  Women didn’t even obtain the right to vote until 1920.

I was born at the end of 1980, so lots of changes were still underway regarding the role of women in the workplace and the home.  It is still shifting today.  In order to become the person that I am meant to be, I have had to examine my programing and work to save myself.  Only I can do that.  I can have someone else as a partner in my journey and discuss a path forward, but the ultimate decision is mine, as it is yours.  Only you can change your life. 

For me, 2019 has meant stepping into the person that I’m meant to be.  I’m still a work in progress, as are you, and we all are until the day we breathe our last breath.

In fairy tales, movies, and books, there is an end.  Many of them ending with a happily ever after.  We spend our lives seeking our own version of happily ever after, but what if we have it wrong?  What if our version of happily ever after is meant to be about ourselves?  We can never be truly happy in our lives if we don’t love who we are.  Another person can’t make you love yourself.  It’s an inside job.

So, as we close out not only another year, but another decade, what is your goal for 2020?  Who do you want to become?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment. 

Just Ask

There are times when you just have to ask for what you want and trust that you will receive a response.

This is a good test for this holiday season.  We are in the home stretch.  Christmas is on Wednesday and the New Year the next week.  But this is the time of year when people have expectations or miscommunications can arise.  You may expect someone to take care of the last-minute Christmas shopping or pick something up at the grocery store and they don’t.

My case is a little different.  I have been working a part-time job while I build my business.  The hair salon that I work at is closed a couple of the shifts that I typically work this Christmas week.  Just because they are closed doesn’t mean that my bills change.  So, one of my co-workers had an emergency arise this past week and I had the opportunity for two additional shifts.  In total the extra shifts amount to the same number of hours, plus a couple, that I lose the week of Christmas.  I said I needed help, but I had to trust that it would happen, and it did.

Trusting that our needs will be taken care of isn’t always easy.  I want things to happen in a specific way.  I want to do it myself, but that isn’t always possible.  It isn’t entirely up to me.  There are forces out there greater than me, but I had to ask.  Just thinking it wasn’t enough in this case.  I had to ask for help out loud.  It wasn’t directed to anyone.  It was like a prayer.

Asking for help isn’t easy.  It’s a lesson that I have had to practice a lot recently.  It’s not a lesson that I’m particularly fond of or comfortable with, but it’s an important one. 

As we head into Christmas and the new year, we can speak our truth and state what we need.  Practice this skill.  It doesn’t come easily.  Nothing that is worth having ever does, but it’s worth it in the end. 

What truth do you need to speak?  Where do you need help in life?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do? Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Fantasy vs. Reality

For many of us a fantasy world can be a better world to reside in.  Reality can seem harsh at times.  It can be challenging to just move forward or get out of bed in the morning.  Reality can feel crushing at times and can lead to lots of tears.

A tower moment in my own life has been reached.  There are times when I prefer to live in the world of potential.  The land of yet to come, but that can be a distraction from looking at what is wrong in my life.  The energies of the past few days have made it impossible for me to live in a world of fantasy.  The reality of my life at this moment is a cocktail of disappointment and frustration.  2019 has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  I have travelled new paths and even though I know it is the right one, that doesn’t always make it easy.

My struggles are just as real as yours.  One moment I can be fine and the next a sobbing mess.  The slightest thing can set me off.  The unexpected can be a crash over a cliff.  There can be pain in knowing that something can’t happen yet.  This week I have been tested to practice what I preach.  After a few days of not being able to clearly see options, I reached out to a fellow coach to help with the reality of my life in this moment.

I’m optimistic because life can change for the better in an instant, but right now I’m taking my own advice and sitting with the pain.  About a year ago I received the warning of a bad review that my life was about to shift.  I started thinking and planning, but in reflection I’m still coming to terms with what that meant.  Things haven’t gone exactly as expected.  There have been challenges, struggles and lessons learned, but I must find my way forward.  I’m sure there will be more lessons as I progress, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day soon joy will feature more prominently in my life.

Reality can feel harsh, but it is showing me a new way forward.  I must continue to grow and expand, just as you do.  Life isn’t perfect.  My life isn’t perfect and I’m sure that yours isn’t either.  The pain of reality can stop so many of us from pursuing our dreams.  I’m working on now allowing the reality of what my life looks like right now stop me from finding success on my new path, but my fantasy world still has its place.  It allows me to dream and ponder the possibilities.

What does your reality look like?  What do you want it to look like?  Let me know.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.

Why Do You Want to Change?

I have been grappling with the concepts of change.  What is your perspective on change?  What makes you truly want to change?

There is always a different viewpoint, a new perspective of the status quo, but what is it that motivates you to act?  For myself, I make a change because I feel like I have no other options.  One example was in starting my business.  I wanted to have the new endeavor all figured out and know precisely what it was that I was going to do before I took a leap.  My problem was I might not have allowed enough time for my scenario to truly evolve.  Making any change can be difficult, especially one that impacts your entire life, but I knew there were other plans for me.  I knew it and I fought it, even though everything in my life was telling me to take a different path and I had a choice to make.  I could continue to fight the changes as I had been doing for so long finding one excuse after another, or change.  I didn’t have a concrete plan for where I wanted to go or what I wanted my business to look like; I didn’t have a name;  I didn’t know how to combine my skill set and interests into a business.    On reflection I found I was being shown an alternative path.  My epiphany started right before Christmas last year when I received the messages from my spiritual guides that I could become a coach, which would fit all my interests and in many ways it seemed like a natural fit.  I decided to investigate a certification program, but my fears and ego got in the way.  Suddenly change was necessary when I lost my job.  While I searched for the answers to why and what, I could have gone out and looked for another job, but deep down I knew that I would end up right back in the same place that I already was.   Is it scary?  Absolutely!  But, does the path I’m on feel right, yes.

Most changes I have made were because I felt like I had no other options.  I would switch to another job only when I had exhausted all possibilities in that situation.  I would take a chance because I couldn’t take where I was anymore.  Is that the best way to make a change?  Probably not, but I’m not alone in job change or loss being a motivating factor.  I was afraid to look at a different perspective.  My stand point hadn’t shifted.  I talked with other people that owned their own businesses.  Could that be me?  Could I truly do it?  How would I be financially secure while I was making this life altering shift?  I didn’t have all the answers and I still don’t, but I can always seek a new perspective by changing my standpoint.  I can ask people for their opinion or guidance; I can follow a path that I’m being spiritually guided in; I can look at something differently.

So, I repeat.  What makes you want to change?  Do you feel like you have no options left?  Do you get an intuitive nudge and move?  Review your past, what has made you take the leap?  Think about what you to change then truly change something that doesn’t work for you anymore.  Sometimes if you want a different ending you need a new perspective and a leap of faith.

I’m interested in your motivating factor.  Let me know what it is.  Do you want to know more about what I do?  Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.