Apathy or Blame. Number 3 on the Map of Consciousness. Where it’s not my fault. Why did they do this to me? This is where the helpless and poor me reside and you’re the victim of your life. According to Dr. Hawkins, Apathy resonates at a vibration of 50.
When you’re in Apathy, you tend to feel stuck and can’t move forward. You can’t decide. A person can remain in Apathy for a long time unless their focus begins to shift. You may not want to feel an emotion, whether it be grief, fear, or anger. You may not want to make a decision that could be difficult. You may not even know you’re doing it. Sometimes it’s easier to be stuck. It can feel like no matter what you do, nothing will change. It can’t possibly get any better. Are you exhausted? You could be resonating here in Apathy. You’re left wandering around, just feeling lost.
What if I said that you don’t have to stay here, but like Shame and Guilt, you need to speak it and own what has led you to this point.
Emotional numbing is term that is used when it comes to Apathy. For many years, I didn’t want to feel anything bad. I only wanted to experience the good in life. I had experienced enough loss. Too many people that I knew had died or let me down and I was tired of it. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I was avoiding the pain. I was in denial.
I would complain about my life. Other people were making my life miserable. At one of my previous jobs, I loved it until the main attorney I worked with left to move across the country. I was assigned to another attorney. We had different work styles and I wasn’t all that interested in the type of law that she practiced, but I didn’t have a choice. I tried to push through as best I could, but I was quickly losing interest. I tried to get assigned to someone else, but that didn’t work. Every night I would come home and complain. I would get sympathy from some of my co-workers. I felt like I had no options. This went on for months. Eventually the emotions took over. I would listen to “Mean” by Taylor Swift repeatedly on the ride home and cry. Nothing was changing.
One day I had a conversation with a colleague. He said I had options. If things couldn’t change where I was, I had the option to leave. I had never considered myself a quitter. My father had worked at one job for his career. I thought that was part of having a career, you worked at one job until your retired. It was the first time I felt like I had options. I started to think about the possibility of something new. Within a few weeks, I had a new job.
Denial had been a pattern for me in the past. Maybe if I stuck my head in the sand, the problem would go away. But it never did. I had to accept the situation for what it was. I had to grieve what I had lost. I had to move up the Map of Consciousness.
Who do you blame? What’s keeping you stuck? Let me know. Do you want to know more about what I do? Click here to book a discovery session or an appointment.