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People Don’t Understand What I’m Going Through

One of the most challenging aspects of being on the spiritual journey is that not everyone sees what you see.  We are all at different stages on our path.  Some will eventually see a different perspective and others never will.  You know what.  That is ok.  We have no control over what another does.  We can only change ourselves.  We can modify our reaction, but who we are as a person should stay intact.  We must remain the most authentic version of ourselves.  For it is from this place that we have the most power and can manifest our highest and best good.

In previous blogs I have talked about experiences where I have changed who I was for other people.  From friends to my job and even family.  I wanted people to like me, and if that meant that I needed to do something or buy something for someone else, I was all in.  Some would take advantage of it, but in my mind, at least they liked me.  The only problem was they didn’t really like me.  They liked what they saw, but that wasn’t me.  It was a projection that I wanted them to see.   As I have stepped into myself, people in my life have fallen away.  My old job fell away and no longer served me.  I couldn’t be myself at that job.  I had to examine every conversation and what it was telling me.  FYI, I still must do this as I’m still learning.

I recently spoke with a group about how to reclaim your soul magic.  After the talk a woman asked me how my family has responded to my journey.  My mom was there with me and has supported me along the way and joined in.  She is a sounding board for my intuitive hits and a practice subject.  My dad has taken some time, but is currently going through an awakening process.  He wants what is in my best interest but has some fear about the path I’m going down.  There are no guarantees on this path, but he is doing the best he can.  He is more comfortable around the conversations of energy than he used to be, and has even attended a psychic fair and a mediumship gallery reading.  Those have been big steps for him.  The other part of my family at this point in my life are my two siblings and their families.  They were incredibly supportive about my getting laid off from my job, but aren’t quite there about my new life path.  There is a lot of fear and I don’t believe they completely understand what I do.  While I wish it was different, I understand it.  For years, I was unsure.  I needed evidence.  But there wasn’t any.  I had to learn to trust.  I couldn’t be afraid.  That is where they seem to be right now.  They need to learn to trust that there is a bigger plan for all of us.  We must loosen the reins and give them over to a higher power to truly achieve our goals.  Hopefully it won’t take them the same amount of time as it did for me.  FYI, my journey began in 2011.  But it is their life, not mine.  All I can ask is that they respect mine, as I do theirs. 

Your journey is as unique as you are.  Clear and heal your own emotions and reactions.  If you are willing to investigate the mirror and examine it, you will truly be on the path to enlightenment.  Do you want to know more, click here to book an appointment or send me an e-mail and ask questions as to how I can best support you.

What Am I Feeling?

Have you felt all the crazy energy lately?    It is not getting easier any time soon.  The eclipses are coming in July (One is on July 2 and the other on July 16).  Eclipses are a time to re-examine your life, with a nudge or even a push.  Maybe a shove.

2019 has been all about examining the past and moving forward.  We are being pushed to look at things differently.  You can see it all around you including in our political system.  The reality around you is shifting.  You can’t go back to what was because that reality doesn’t exist anymore.

My previous reality completely altered in January with the loss of my job.  I have been forced to examine every belief about myself and those around me.  What does it mean to not have a 9 to 5 job?  What has been holding me back from living the life of my dreams?  How have I contributed to my current life? 

I go for a walk every morning to help clear myself and this past week have had so much trouble staying present and grounded in my body.  I have been walking around barefoot to stay grounded.  Luckily, I haven’t stepped in anything gross like dog pee.  Last summer I had the same problem.  I sat under a tree for hours and dug my feet into the dirt during the eclipses.  I have a feeling you may see me doing that again if you drive by my house.

When you are experiencing these intense energies, you must do whatever you can to stay grounded and protected.  What are you doing to help you?  Make sure that you take time for yourself.  Stay grounded, protected and move forward.  Do you need help?  Click here to book an appointment.

My Body Is Talking to Me?

Everything that happens in life, good or bad, reflects our inner life.  What does that mean?  We create our own reality.  Our body and our world are mirrors of what we feel and experience.  If we pay attention to the mirrors, we can change our life.

Let’s say you have gout; it could be a sign of unresolved anger.  Vision problems can be an inability to see what is in front of you.  Back problems could be a lack of support.  All ailments have a meaning.  Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” is a great starting point.  It may not mean to you what it means to someone else.  That’s ok.  We can all interpret things in different ways.  Maybe you are triggered by what someone says to you on a regular basis.  All of these are clues.  If you follow the clues, you could end up with a new life.  If you don’t follow the clues, they don’t go away, they just get louder.

In my own story, I have been following the clues for a while now, but they don’t heal overnight.  My eyesight is terrible.  I can’t see what is right in front of my face without my glasses or contact lenses.  In 5th grade, when I first got glasses, you could say I was naïve.  I believed that friendships would last forever, and people wouldn’t hurt you.  It took another year before I started to see.  I had always assumed that when school started, I would walk together with my friends, as we had the previous year.  One of my friends began to play mind games with me.  I couldn’t get an answer as to what time we would meet, or maybe she would walk with someone else.  I have always liked to have a plan and school was starting in a couple of days.  I told her my plan and figured that I would still walk to school with my other friend.  That night, I found out that wasn’t happening either.  I wound up walking by myself, but she knew my plan.  We would meet at the traffic light, with her walking either ahead of me or behind me.  She would talk with several girls loud enough so I could hear what they were saying about me.  This practice was repeated on the way home from school.  Once home I would cry to my mom and do it all over again the next day.  This happened for two and a half months.  I finally snapped.  I hit her with a binder and took off running.  I told my mom when I got home, but it was different this time.  Her mother called.  I was to blame.  Her daughter would never do anything like that.  By the time I went to bed that night I had also lost my other friend.  I didn’t ever want to be hurt like that again, so I hid.  I didn’t just hide for a day.  I hid for years.  I didn’t feel like engaging with the world until I was in 8th grade.  My vision continued to get worse.  I couldn’t see all the people who I could be friends with.  I could only see the potential hurt. 

Today I still have terrible vision and wear contact lenses, but my prescription has stabilized.  I still run through what don’t I see.  I have some ideas, but that is for another time.  I am a work in progress and always will be.  My body and mirror have other lessons to teach me.  Is there something that you can’t see?  What is your body trying to tell you?  When did you notice a problem in your life?  Follow the clues.  You can either be your own detective or I can help you.  Click here to book an appointment.

Am I Awake or Asleep?

The process of awakening can be both easy and difficult at the same time.  It has a lot to do with you.  Me?  Yes, you.  How could it be based on me?  We all have certain beliefs about the metaphysical world or as my Dad calls it the “woo woo” world.

We all move forward and slide back on our path to becoming enlightened.  The energies of the world today make it harder and harder to stay asleep.  The spiritual world is forcing you into a new reality.  One that you can either surrender to or go into kicking and screaming.

The awakening process could involve an illness or a question of why does my life seem so hard?  For me, it was the latter.  I had spent my life trying to be someone who I wasn’t.   It took me a while to start and put the pieces together because I no longer knew who I was.  I had lost my identity.  I started to read self-help books.  One of the first books, if not the first, was “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.  Total game changer and if you haven’t read yet, I urge you too.  I began to look at everything as a sign and something to peel away from allergies to ear infections, to back pain, to excess weight.  More than six years later, I am still peeling away the layers.  But, as I uncovered more, I began to tackle the question of “Who Am I?”  I started to dabble in astrology and numerology.  These gave me clues, but it wasn’t until this year that everything started to click.  I lost my job in January and had a chance to decide who I wanted to be in this next phase of my life.  The old me wasn’t there anymore and working in immigration law, while it helped people, didn’t seem to fit me anymore.  I watched a Facebook Live with Colette Baron-Reid and Crystal Andrus Morrisette that changed the direction of my life.  This was only 2 days after losing my job!  I had studied different modalities but didn’t know how to combine everything.  This was my answer.  Coaching was something that had come relatively easy to me over the years, but I didn’t really know anything about the industry.  So, I took a leap and signed up for a coaching certification program.  Through that program, my life began to change.  Things didn’t move as quickly as I would have liked, but they began to progress.  Synchronicity began to happen.  I met new people who took me in new directions.  Some of the old people feel away.  They weren’t a part of my new journey and others were inspired by what I was doing and decided to come along for the ride.  Today I am not the same person that rang in 2019.  When that flow happens, you are on your soul path.

My process was not quick and yours probably won’t be either.  Where are you in your process?  Are you starting or further along?  The journey to awakening matches you.  There is no right or wrong answer.  It is what it is.  It is as unique as you.  If you would like my help in your process, click here to book an appointment.

Ooh! Look what’s on TV!

Do you ever get distracted?  We all do.  It is human nature.  You may have the best of intentions when you start, then something intervenes, and you never get back to it.  It is easier to camp out in front of the tv eating popcorn than it is to change something about your life.

I spent years avoiding change and I do mean years.  As a teenager I lost my ability to trust other people after being harassed and betrayed by a friend.  I didn’t want to put myself back out there and get hurt again so I hid.  My preferred method of hiding was vicarious living watching soap operas.  Both teen soap operas and adult ones.  I recorded Days of our Lives and General Hospital for years before the tapes fell to the floor one day to show me, I needed to move on.  Marlena was possessed by the devil.  Ooh!  That’s better than focusing on what’s wrong with my life.  I didn’t want to face what was going wrong in my life.  That I couldn’t trust people is hard for a 13-year-old to go through.  So, what did I do?  Nothing.  I figured that it would all work itself out.  You know what though, it didn’t.  I turned 30 and I still had the same trust issues as I did when I was 13. My preferred distraction methods of hiding and watching TV had longevity.

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that can be used to protect, but it can only take you so far.  Denials and distractions don’t help to change your life.  They keep you stuck.  When I turned 30, I realized that no one was coming to save me.  I had to learn to save myself, but it took me a long time to find out how.  I tried taking courses or reading books, then I would get overwhelmed, so I would hide and distract myself by watching tv.  It is easier to stay in that place of denial than it is to make changes.

What do you want to do differently?  Is it time to make a change, but you are afraid?  Or do you know that you can’t do it alone?  I am here to help.  Let me know how I can help you.

You Want Me to Trust!

Spirit has a plan for each and everyone of us.  Understanding and trusting are two very different things though.

I have known for a while that spirit has a plan for me.  Bits and pieces have been revealed over the years as I have been ready to receive them.  This year has been all about trusting that plan.  Taking the leap to begin a business after getting laid off from my job.  The idea of not having a regular 9 to 5 job like I was taught growing up has been a challenge, but trusting that everything will work out without a safety net has been a real lesson.  Not everyday with this lesson is easy, but I am still learning to trust it.  I suspect this is a lifelong lesson for myself and each of you reading this. 

What is spirit planning for you?  Can you take the leap and trust that you will be taken care of?

Where am I?

Have you ever felt lost?  I would be surprised if you haven’t.  Everyone has felt lost at one time or another.  A time where I don’t quite know what’s wrong, but how did I end up here?  Life is a series of choices that are made and sometimes can take us so far from what was intended.  Those choices are trying to show us something, but we must be willing to pay attention.  It is challenging to try and look at things from a new perspective and see that maybe we had a hand in where we have ended up.  It is hard to admit that maybe you have been wrong.  That maybe you couldn’t see something that was right in front of you.

I first began my journey towards the spiritual side of life when I went to the Enlightenment Expo in Portland, Maine in May of 2013.  It had been suggested that I go, and I figured why not, I didn’t have other plans that day and I really could use a new direction.  I was at a job where I wasn’t happy, I didn’t have a romantic partner in my life, and nothing seemed to be going the way that I wanted.  I started to look for answers.  I started going to events and opened myself up to new ideas.  I had a numerology reading at one of them where she told me that I could be working at one sometime.  My response was, “yeah right”.  I had that conversation with two additional psychics over the years before I finally started to hear what I was being told.  Synchronicity began to flow.  I met the people I needed to meet so that I could learn to open up.  Spirit has a way of directing you even if we don’t want to hear it.

What aren’t you seeing or hearing?  Do you feel lost right now? Is there something right in front you that you can’t see?

Changes means what?

The first step is always hard.  Whether it’s a new venture, a new relationship or making small changes.  Change is a challenge for so many of us, myself included.  I fought change for years for fear that decisions that I had made were wrong or were in some way a reflection of failing. 

For about eight years, each year I experienced the death of a family member who I was close to and the process of constantly being in grief was exhausting.  But light appeared in 2011 with the birth of my eldest nephew.  This new birth was a welcome change.  I now realize that not all change is bad.  The changes that we see as negative tend to be the ones that don’t follow the course we had planned; the ones that seem to be thrust upon us, that give us no opportunity to make a choice about. 

What are you unhappy about in your life now?  Do you feel like you can do something different and change your reality?  Is there a small change you can make so that you feel more in charge, which could lead you to feel more empowered?  When we feel more empowered, changes are welcome.  Something seemingly small can lead to bigger changes.  Is there something small that you can change?

Spring, New Beginnings and a Step

It is officially Spring.  Well, so it began in the middle of March officially, but the snow is melting, hopefully and Spring is underway.  The flowers are blooming, the days are longer, and a time for seeking new beginnings is here. 

For some of us, new beginnings seek us out.  This is my first official post as the owner of SoulHeart Intuitive Coaching.  My new beginning started in January, when the universe pushed me in a new direction and forced me to change direction in a way that I was unsure about.  My career path of 10 years came to an end and an authentic life path began.  Within days, synchronicity flowed and I paid attention to my intuition.  I was led to an empowerment coaching certification program.  A month later, a business course began to help me to set up my business.  Synchronicity at work.  A few weeks went by and I became a Reiki Master and completed a course of healing with Lemurian crystals.  Another week and I initiated a business manifestation class and an astrology class dealing with Life Purpose.   See the flow? A lot has happened within such a short time it can make a person’s head spin. 

What are you thinking with the coming of Spring?  Has the universe been pushing you into a new direction?  Where are you being guided?  There so many options it can be challenging at times.  Take several deep breaths.  What do you want to achieve during this time of new beginnings?

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